Justice For Molly
by greenstuff2
Summary: This could equally well have been titled What Goes Around Comes Around
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N: This is the first part of a two part short story that has been written in a sort of collaboration with Debbie Fincham ... and to those who are going to accuse me of abandoning Roadside Rescue, I am not, I am still 100% committed to it, it was just that writing this went some way towards helping with our absolute outrage at the way things have been portrayed on screen ... Part two hopefully tomorrow ... please be kind x**_

 _ **-OG-**_

 _ **What Goes Around**_

 _ **Part One - Betrayal**_

"What are you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm bloody doing? I'm packing" Molly resolutely didn't look in his direction as she carefully folded her clothes into the open suitcase on the bed "And before you say anything, I'm not taking anything that's not mine"

"Where are you going?"

"That's none of your business anymore, all you need to know is that I'm bloody not staying here ... I'm not gonna do this anymore ... "

"Not going to do what? Don't be ridiculous ... look, you can stay, I'll move out"

"I don't think so ... I don't wanna stay here ... I'm not going to stay anywhere where everywhere I look I'm reminded of you, of what we had, of what you've bloody well destroyed ... I don't wanna 'ave anything to do with you anymore and I don't wanna keep pretending that it's not what you do ... you're bloody good at it, mate, running away when things get a bit 'ard and then pretending you can't 'elp it ... that nothing is your fault" Molly still wouldn't look at him, she was concentrating instead on tucking socks and underwear down the sides of her case "You did it to Rebecca, you did it to Sammie and now you've done it to me ... if I'd had any sense at all I wouldn't have believed all that shit you came out with, but still better late than never, eh?"

She shut the case and swung it off the bed and then looked around the room checking she hadn't left anything behind, before wrenching her rings from her fingers and throwing them in the middle of the bed. She still didn't look directly at him, she was too afraid that if she did she would lose it completely and start hitting him. She had hoped to be away from the place before he came back from wherever it was he'd been, probably off somewhere with her, but knew that if she ever saw him again it would be too soon.

"And if it weren't me best mate, who by the way was going to marry your best mate, remember him? Wonder what he'd think? Nah, if it wasn't Georgie it'd be someone else, it's what you do, you fucked off when Rebecca got fed up with you preferring to go off playing at soldiers instead of being at home and looking after her and your son ... but then, she didn't get how important the army was to you did she? ... and you told me that that had all changed when you met me ... but what you meant was that I hero-worshipped you, thought you could do nothing wrong so I made you feel good about yourself, but not anymore, that's all finished, over, done with, I'm just glad that we never had any kids ..."

He still hadn't said a word as she pushed past him out of the room and then shouted back over her shoulder that she would let him know where to send on the rest of her stuff before going down stairs and out of the front door and out of his life, slamming the door behind her.

Charles stood still for a second, then picked up her rings and put them on top of the chest of drawers and wondered why he didn't feel relieved that she'd gone, that she'd left him, that it was over. It was what he'd wanted after all, ever since Azizi, since Elvis, and for more than a year now he'd wanted nothing more than to look after Georgie. Nothing else had seemed important. Molly was strong, she was much stronger than Georgie who needed him to be there for her in a way that Molly no longer did and his wife had been standing in the way of him being able to do what he knew to be right, so why didn't it feel like that now that she'd made it plain she wasn't going to be in the way anymore, that he was free to do what he wanted.

For a while he wandered from empty room to empty room in the house they'd bought together with such an intense excitement, remembering the way Molly had been full of happiness and excited plans for the first home she'd ever owned, but the house just felt like bricks and mortar now that all that excitement had gone. He started to collect together the odd bits of stuff she hadn't taken with her, glad of something to do as he tried to wipe her words from his brain, but couldn't. The trouble was he knew she was right, that every word she'd said was the pure unvarnished truth.

To start with he'd kept expecting to hear from her, he had been sure that as soon as she calmed down a bit she would do as she said and would let him know where she was so that he could send her the odds and ends she'd left behind and could, at the same time arrange to meet up so that they could talk. But as the days slowly turned into weeks and the weeks into months he realised she wasn't going to get in touch and that the boxes of her things that were now gathering dust in the hall weren't going anywhere, but he couldn't quite bring himself to throw them out.

It had taken him a while to realise that her post was no longer coming to the house, that she had to have arranged re-direction and for a day or so he'd toyed with the idea of seeing if he could find out where she was from the Post Office people, but had then abandoned the idea as unfeasible. They were never going to just hand out her address even if he could prove that she was still his wife. But for some reason it made the whole separation thing seem final, which it was of course, it had been final the day she'd slammed the door on her way out. He knew he could trace her through the army but that would mean telling people and he hadn't done that, not yet, he hadn't told anyone. It was easy to lie to Sammie, the little boy knew Molly went away as much as he did, but he was pretty sure Rebecca had her suspicions, although she hadn't said a word about it either and he'd made a million excuses to his mother and father to explain why Molly didn't visit Royal Crescent anymore. They'd adored her from the minute they knew she'd saved his life and afterwards for her own sake and he was dreading the moment that he had to tell them that the girl they'd taken to their hearts was gone, that he'd thrown another marriage away.

Slowly it became the new normal of his life. The empty house, the long hours spent on his own, the shopping for one and the not always eating what he'd bought so that it sat in the fridge until he threw it out, the silent phone that never rang and the going out for long runs where he pounded the streets until he was a dripping sweaty mess and told himself he was doing it to improve his fitness level when in fact he was trying to stop _thinking_ about how his life had gone to shit. Not so long ago he'd thought he had everything he wanted, and now there was nothing left of the way things used to be. He was on his own.

-OG-

Her anger with him and what they'd done, him and the girl she had thought of as her friend, kept her going for the first few weeks after she'd given up on him. She'd spent a long time doing her best to support him when he needed help, she had kept on telling him that she would always stick by him whatever, but that he had to face it and stop hiding behind the uniform, but instead he'd bloody betrayed her. She'd quickly decided she could live without the shit she'd left behind so didn't make any attempt to contact him at all, and he hadn't called her either but Georgie had bombarded her with calls and texts and facebook messages until she'd blocked her. She didn't read any of them, she didn't want to know so had just deleted them unread, didn't want to hear what either of them had to say or to know anything about what they were doing, she didn't even want to know whether they were together now. It didn't actually matter whether they were an item or not, it was enough that he'd put Georgie first, that he'd wanted her more than he'd wanted his marriage.

She'd volunteered for everything and had done a couple of short tours, anything to help her get on without thinking too much. The first was total shit, she'd been really miserable, had found it hard to forget what he'd done, and habit had her looking for his handwriting on a letter, but the second was okay, in fact it was good and slowly life back in barracks begun to suit her. Her room was okay, bit on the small side but not bad and she could do what she liked, when she liked and there was always someone around to have a laugh with, to go out for a drink with and no-one asked her anything about him and what had happened. She'd reverted to Dawes and as time went on and she got back from her second tour she wasn't even sure how many people actually remembered about her having been married once, there was always some new rumour going round about someone, and those that did remember didn't mention anything to her about it.

She'd told her family when she'd gone away on tour the first time, she couldn't not, she had to explain why she didn't live with him anymore and why she was arranging to have him taken off as next of kin, why she'd moved out the house, but she'd told them it as a fact, hadn't gone on about how he'd betrayed her or anything and had told them without any hearts and flowers shit and since then she had absolutely refused to talk to any of them about any of it at all. Nothing that anyone said was going to mend anything.

She'd avoided having anything to do with the lads as well. At first they'd kept on asking what had happened, and saying that they were worried about her, but eventually she'd ignored them for so long that they'd given up trying. She had no wish to get into any of it with them either, she didn't want to talk to anyone about old times or what had gone wrong ... nothing, and she definitely didn't want to talk to anyone about him and what he'd done.

Her getting promoted had helped a bit, at least it seemed as if she was doing okay at work even if the rest of her life had gone to shit, well, someone obviously thought so anyway, and things were actually slowly starting to get a bit better. She wasn't quite at the stage of being able to say she was happy yet, but she wasn't unhappy either and there were days when it felt as if her marriage had never been.

-OG-

"Go on, you'll enjoy it ... once you get going ... well, the Molly Dawes I used to know would have aced it ... and it's not as if there are a whole lot of other medics with medals to pick from is there?"

"Oh I see, no choice ... I know ... I'll get Dawes to do it" Molly giggled "You silver tongued charmer you"

"I think you mean, yes Sir, no Sir, three bags full Sir"

"Do I? Oh go on then if I have to ... 'ere is that an order boss?"

"You'll enjoy it ... you'll see"

"Is that a promise then?"

Her new role as mentor for those just out of basic who were aspiring to be medics was something she was well used to doing on tour and she was happy that she was good at it, but it had filled her with trepidation when she'd found out who her boss was going to be, a hell of a lot of water had gone under the bridge since she'd last seen him, but she had always liked him. Sort of. Had even fancied him a bit back then, but all of that was long forgotten now that he was her boss, that mistake was one she was never going to repeat. She'd had to get used to not calling him Corporal Geddings anymore, she wasn't the only one who'd got herself promoted and last she'd heard he was a Sergeant but was now Staff Sergeant Geddings so she had to get used to calling him Staff, and it was him that was in charge of setting up this trailer stall thing at the family day where she'd apparently just volunteered to give a talk about what it was like to serve overseas as a medic in a war zone. And how she'd got a fucking medal for it, something that she really wasn't sure she wanted to do. She was afraid she was going to stuff it up because it was going to bring back too many memories, but it looked like it was all set now so that she had no choice, and anyway it was a bit of a test for her to check whether it still hurt to talk about it.

-OG-

" _... so I suppose what I've been trying to tell you is that it doesn't matter if you win a medal or not ... although that is quite nice"_ She waited for the ripple of laughter to die down before going on with the rest of her presentation, the one that she'd practised in front of her mirror about a hundred times and then in front of Staff Geddings while he'd smiled at her with pride written all over his face, the same proud smile he had now as she got to the closing bit _"It's never just about you as the medic, whatever happens it's always going to be a team effort, you are part of a section and you all look out for each other... it's what sections do, it's not all about looking after number one, it's about looking after numbers two, three and four and however many there are in your section, it's just that as the medic you get to do all the gory bits ... but that is just you doing your job ... thank you"_

There was a prolonged burst of applause as she smiled and repeated _thank you_ several times to her admiring audience before jumping off the stage with a huge smile of relief and pride on her face and pretended to stand to attention in front of Matthew Geddings as he grinned happily and then threw his arm round her and hugged her. They had decided that they wouldn't do _questions_ as such, that they would just let people come up and ask her stuff after if they wanted, which suited Molly. One to one would be a lot easier.

"Well, well who'd have bloody thought it? Little Miss Gobby up there holding the audience in the palm of her hand like a professional"

"Shut up Boss" She smiled up at him "Was it really okay?"

"Well, I would tell you, but we don't want you getting a big head do we?" He laughed "Come on ... I'll shout you a cuppa and then I can tell you what a star you are"

"And a sticky bun?"

"Don't push it Dawsey"

He couldn't possibly have known about the pang it gave her to hear someone call her by that nickname as she swallowed hard and grinned again, she hadn't been called that for a very long time.

-OG-

He had been intending to bring Sammie with him to this family day, but at the last minute Rebecca had called to say the little boy was sick, something he wasn't 100% sure was true, but he was committed to attend so was alone as he walked around acknowledging people and willing the time to speed up so he could decently leave when he saw her. Almost six months without a word since she'd slammed out of their home and there she was, Molly, standing on a platform looking very tiny and very beautiful and exactly the way he remembered her except for an extra stripe as she talked to a large crowd and his heart missed a beat exactly as it had all those years ago in Afghan. The fact that he didn't even know she'd been promoted felt like a slap in the face. Judging by the blown up posters displayed on the stage behind her, she was describing what life was like when you were serving as a medic in a war zone and what it was like to get a medal for being brilliant at it. His Molly, his wife, the girl he'd once described as fucking awesome, the girl who used to tell him he was the beat of her heart but who wasn't his wife anymore even though she looked and sounded and smiled the way she always had and he was swamped with a massive overwhelming sense of loss.

He stood and watched and moved close enough to the back of the crowd to be able to hear what she was saying and then listened with a huge sense of pride until she was getting the prolonged and very well deserved appreciation from her audience. He didn't stop to think about what he was going to say to her, just obeyed every instinct and skirted round the edge of the crowd to where she was standing off to one side of the stage talking to a Staff Sergeant. Then, to his utter dismay, he saw the Sergeant put his arm round her and hug her, and worse still, she hugged him back, both their faces alight with laughter.

"Molly?"

It was obvious she hadn't seen him as he saw her back go rigid at the sound of his voice and she whipped round to face him, then stood to attention as though she'd never set eyes on him before in her life and his heart sank.

"Sir"

-OG-


	2. Chapter 2

_**Justice For Molly**_

 _ **Part Two - Redemption**_

"Good display ... well supported" Charles looked around in the sudden awkward silence that had built up between the three of them then nodded at the Staff Sergeant. He knew that he knew the face from somewhere, that he'd seen the man in front of him before although he didn't believe they'd actually ever met, it was just a vague memory that he was dredging up from somewhere in the back of his brain of Molly showing him some pictures from the days before she'd met him. He was pretty sure that this man had featured in some of them from when she'd been in basic. He was relying on her not telling him to fuck off in front of her superior officer when he took the bull by the horns "Can I steal Corporal ... Dawes for a little while, can you spare her for a few minutes while we go and grab a cup of tea?"

"Of course"

Matthew was suddenly acutely aware of the glare of pure hatred that Molly was sending in his direction, as he was also acutely aware of who the man in front of them actually was even though he hadn't called her by her bloody married name, but he wasn't only Molly's husband or her ex-husband, he was also an officer for fuck sake, he couldn't just tell him to do one even if Molly obviously wished he would.

"Nah ... it's okay, I'm not thirsty thank you Sir ... and it's not time for me tea break yet"

She looked at Geddings and widened her eyes in a silent plea before turning her attention to scanning the people milling around near the trailer and grabbed a handful of their leaflets ready to escape and dish them out, whether people wanted them or not while desperately hoping that there was someone hanging about who was waiting to ask her a question. But she was out of luck, there was no-one that looked even remotely interested in coming over to talk to her and she couldn't pretend there was anything else that needed her urgent undivided attention either.

"That's alright, Dawes, you go and have a short break ... have a cuppa, you've earned it"

"Yes Boss ... thank you Boss"

Molly packed as much sarcasm into the words as she could muster. She wanted badly to stick to her guns and refuse to go anywhere with him, but she couldn't make a bloody scene, especially as there were likely to be people in the crowd who knew who he was, and who she was as well. She didn't want to be the main topic of gossip the following morning in the mess hall. Matthew knew only too well that what she really wanted to say to him was 'fuck you, Boss' as she looked back at him for a second with narrowed eyes and then began to walk towards the refreshment tent next to the tall officer without making any further comment. He could see from her rigid back as they walked away from him that they were walking next to each other in complete silence, and that she wasn't at all happy.

Molly wondered whether Charles had totally forgotten how hard she'd always found it to keep up with him when he was striding out the way he was at that moment without checking that she wasn't getting left behind, he always used to have to stop every so often to wait for her to catch him up when they'd walked anywhere together, and she couldn't help thinking that Georgie wasn't a whole lot taller than her, but that she was obviously better at walking fast. They were marching along without saying a word to each other so that she was almost tempted to keep on getting further and further behind him so then she could then just slide away and slink off without him noticing that she'd actually done a runner.

"Sorry ... " He stopped and waited for her to catch up just when she was seriously contemplating her chances of being able to get away with it "It sounded strange just now to hear you calling someone else Boss"

"Did it? Well, sorry Sir but that's what he is, he is me Boss"

"Indeed ... and Molly, will you please stop calling me Sir"

"Well what do you want me to ... nah, don't matter"

"I'm sure you haven't forgotten my name ... come on ... you go and find a seat and I'll get us some tea ... do you want anything to eat?"

"Nah thanks ... I'm okay"

What she wanted to do was to get away from this awkward bloody conversation and to ask him what the fuck he wanted. She didn't want this, she'd been on a serious high when she'd got to the end of her little presentation and she wanted to make her escape back to the trailer so that she could carry on enjoying the moment with Staff Geddings. He'd been a really good friend to her ever since she'd started working with him, he was funny and supportive and he was friendly and he liked her, or he seemed to, and he didn't want anything from her except for her to be good at her job and to share the odd cuppa and have a bit of a bicker over biscuits. She didn't feel all on edge with him and badly wanted to ask him what the hell he thought he'd been playing at just then, why he hadn't said he couldn't spare her. He'd never asked her to tell him anything about Charles and she'd never said anything to him about the whole clusterfuck that had been her marriage, but she had a horrible feeling that was something that was going to change now that Charles had put in an appearance. She wished he would just go away and leave her alone.

"So how have you been Molly?"

"Good thanks ... you?"

She had no idea why she'd just said that. She certainly hadn't thought about it, it had slipped out as a bit of a habit because actually she had no interest in how his life was, she couldn't care less whether he was all happy and skipping along with Georgie Lane, both of them full of the fucking joys of spring and all loved up together. And if he was here looking to ask her for a divorce he could do it through his bloody solicitor, she wasn't going to roll over and make it all lovely and easy for him. She wasn't Rebecca.

"It's ... I'm getting there ... you were right you know when you said I needed to get help, but then you always were... everything got way out of control for a bit ..." He stirred his coffee "It was ... I fucked everything up and ... then I lost all the things that mattered to me" He looked up from his coffee "And every word you said to me that day was true .."

"Yeah I know it was ... and I knew I was right ... but you didn't lose them, you threw them away, still ... glad you're feeling better now ... " Molly gulped down the last of her tea which was still too hot so that it burnt her mouth and went to stand up, she had no intentions of getting involved in being sorry for him, she just wanted to get away and definitely didn't want an in-depth about anything that had gone on in his nut, that was the last thing she wanted. Let him go and tell Georgie, get her to feel sorry for him. "Anyway I'd better go, Staff will be waiting for me to get back so he can go and get a cuppa"

"No, please don't rush off" He looked down and stirred the coffee again, then kept his eyes on his cup rather than looking at her. Molly knew he wouldn't drink it, it looked weak and milky and just how he hated it "Why did you never call me about your stuff?"

"Decided I didn't want it ... don't even know what was there now, did you bin it?"

"Of course not, it's yours not mine" He frowned and continued to stir the coffee even though he had no intention of taking even a sip and then looked up at her "Don't you want to go through it and see what's there before you decide to throw it away?"

"Nah ... it's alright ... you can just chuck it"

There was another prolonged silence as she scoured her brain for a neutral topic that didn't include any mention of bloody Georgie whose name kept popping up in the front of her brain, she didn't want to talk about her, or about him and her, or about anything to do with either of them which didn't leave a whole lot of anything. She thought about maybe asking about Sammie, about how he was or about his mum and dad, but then changed her mind, it felt all wrong and as if it was none of her business, and anyway she just wanted him to go and let her get back to the life she'd spent so much time carefully re-building. The life that she'd worked so hard to make better after he'd betrayed her.

"If you change your mind, it'll all still be there waiting for you"

"Thanks ... but I'm sure I won't ... look, I really think it would be better if I go..."

Charles knew that there was no point in him trying to get her to stay, he'd tried and he'd failed, and sitting there in a strained silence while she desperately tried to get away from him wasn't achieving anything. And short of insisting that she stayed exactly where she was by making it an order, he couldn't do a thing about it. Slowly over the recent past he had been getting to the point of acceptance that it was too late for them and that he really had thrown everything that had been important to him down the shitter, she was totally right about that as she had been about so many other things, but he'd had to face the truth of the irrevocable damage he'd caused. He was going to have to live with the consequences, especially the loneliness, being lonely was one of the prices he was going to have to pay.

But he'd had no idea she would be there that afternoon and seeing her there on that stage looking exactly the same as she always had, had filled him with this desperate longing to just talk to her, not to try and persuade her to give him another chance or anything like that, he knew that wasn't going to happen, but to just explain that he'd finally done what she'd tried so hard to get him to do, something he'd ignored until the reality had hit him and he'd been forced to accept that she was right and that he needed help. He wanted to tell her how hard he'd been working to try and mend his life and that he couldn't look back at that time now without being swamped with a flood of guilt and remorse. And most of all he wanted to tell her that he was bitterly sorry that she'd tried so hard to help him and that he hadn't wanted to hear and then, maybe in time, she could forgive him.

"It was nice to have seen you Molly"

"Yeah ... you 'n all ... thanks for the tea"

Suddenly it wasn't a polite lie, seeing him for the first time since she'd walked out was a hurdle that she'd been dreading so she was glad to get it out of the way and at least he'd been on his own and hadn't had bloody Georgie with him. She'd always been afraid of what she might feel when she saw him again, whether she'd still be blisteringly angry or worse whether it would still be hurting, but apart from a desperate longing to get away, it was okay, there was a bit of her that would probably always love him, but she'd coped. She pushed the chair back and turned to leave, not sure whether she was supposed to shake his hand or whatever, because she sure as hell wasn't going to kiss him on the cheek or anything.

"Bye then"

"I miss you"

"What?"

She stopped but didn't turn her head to look at him, just stood motionless for a few seconds, still no more than a few feet away from the table with her back to him and shook her head slowly from side to side then muttered "Don't". His words were forcing her to remember all the times that she'd said that to him when he was physically around but was so far out of her reach.

"Sorry ... I just want you to know that I am really sorry for everything ... and that I miss you"

She didn't say anything else, just walked towards the exit and didn't look back until she was almost out of the doorway, when she turned to look at him over her shoulder and then turned back again and walked away. He was watching her go with an expression on his face that said more than all the words he'd spoken, an expression that she was sure she'd had on her own face when she'd realised that she'd lost him.

-OG-

Charles' memories as he watched her leave were not of the way she'd screamed at him and thrown her rings on the bed or even the look of horror on her face when she'd first seen him that afternoon, but of the first time he'd ever seen her, of the first time he'd ever touched her hand, the first time that he'd ever kissed her and of her ecstatically happy smile on their wedding day and he couldn't quite believe that all the joy and hope and the love they'd had for one another had ended like this. That it had all finally died in some stuffy refreshment tent in the middle of a noisy crowd of soldiers and families on a warm sunny afternoon in Aldershot, and that it had ended with her walking away from him again, only this time he knew without a shadow of a doubt that it was absolutely final. And totally his own fault.

He had to wait a few minutes to pull himself together before he got up to take another slow walk round the field so he would be seen to have been in attendance and to say his goodbyes and then get off home to his empty house, there was nothing else he could do. It was over.

-OG-

"Everything alright Dawes?"

"What?"

"I was asking you if you're alright Molly, he didn't upset you did he?"

"Ummm sorry Staff, can I just ... "

She gestured to where Charles was walking slowly away from the refreshment tent and heading towards the main field to get swallowed up by the crowds of people having fun in the sunshine, people walking as families with babies in buggies and kids racing around screaming while others milled about eating ice creams and laughing and playing at the games, chucking things at things and trying to win tat on the sideshows.

"Go on then... what are you waiting for?"

Matthew wasn't sure that she was doing the right thing or that he should be encouraging her, he'd seen her start to get back to her old self over the weeks she'd been working with him, so that recently she'd been much happier and much more settled. Although he didn't know the exact details of what had happened with her old man and the breakdown of her marriage, he hadn't asked and she hadn't volunteered anything, he'd heard barracks gossip and if there was any truth at all in any of it, his heart had bled for her. He just hoped that she wasn't about to make a massive mistake.

Molly was in an agony of indecision as she started to walk slowly in the direction he'd taken. She had no idea why she was going to try and catch him up to talk to him, or what she was actually going to talk to him about when she reached him, it was just that she had loved him once, well she still did in a way, and even though she had no wish to try and get back with him or anything, and definitely not to even think of spending the rest of her life with someone who'd treated her the way he had, he'd looked so alone sitting there and even more alone when he'd walked away from the refreshment tent.

-OG-

"I just thought I might gonna need to have a look through me stuff after all ... if that's okay with you?"

"Of course it is ... when?"

"I dunno ... umm when's best for you?"

"Molly, just tell me when you want to come over and I'll be there" He lifted an eyebrow and started chewing at his bottom lip in a gesture she remembered so well "This afternoon if you like .. do you want to come after you've finished here? I can wait for you if you want me to and give you a lift"

"Nah ... it's okay ... I'll ring you"

She wanted time to think it through before she actually did it, she still wasn't convinced that it was a good idea to let everything get churned up again, until that afternoon her life had felt pretty sorted.

"Right ... "

He knew he had to trust that this time she meant what she said and that she would call him and however much he wanted to get her to make a firm promise, trying to pin her down to a definite was just going to push her further away, and he could see that what he wanted more than anything else in the world wasn't going to happen. He had to be content with tiny steps.

-OG-

She was cross legged on the rug and was going through the photographs at the bottom of one of the boxes, smiling at some of them until she pulled out a framed picture of the two of them laughing towards the camera in a hail of confetti outside the church. She traced the faces with her index finger and then looked at him with her eyes flooded with tears.

"I can't believe you chucked this in the box ..."

"I didn't, I wouldn't, that is another one I had done for you, I hoped you wouldn't want to completely forget about me ... about that day ... and how things used to be before I took a fucking wrecking ball to everything"

"Yeah well ... as you said, you was ill"

"No excuse Molly, you kept telling me to sort myself out and to get help and I kept pretending there was nothing wrong, I kept telling myself it wasn't me ... I fucked everything up"

"Yeah, you did a bit"

Molly took a deep breath, she wanted to ask him whether he'd got with Georgie after she'd left him, but then didn't want to hear the answer. She knew he would tell her the truth if she asked and if he said that they had been together she wasn't sure that she could even sit and talk to him anymore, coming back to this house had been a bit of a mistake. She'd been sitting on the bus torturing herself with visions of Georgie's stuff all over the house, or even worse the girl herself answering the front door. Total nonsense she knew, because he wouldn't do that to her, but her trust in him had gone to shit a long time ago.

"Do you think you'll ever be able to forgive me Molly?"

"Dunno ... not sure ... you really hurt me you know"

"I know ... and if I could change anything, well everything, I would do it in a heartbeat ... I can't believe that I could have been so fucking wrong ... I miss you"

"You said ... but I dunno do I? I mean, I'm not coming back .." She gave a hollow laugh "Not that you've asked me, but just so as you know, I can't just say none of it matters, it does"

"Of course I want you to come back, I've never stopped wanting you to come back, but I do understand that you don't want to ... and I don't blame you ... but I thought that maybe if we could spend some time together we can get to know each other again ... I don't want to lose you ..."

He was picking his words very carefully, scared of saying too much and scaring her off. He was pretty sure that declarations of the love he felt for her would do just that and this time it really was his last chance and for that reason he hadn't asked her anything about her relationship with her boss the Staff Sergeant who had looked at her with such affection.

"I s'pose I don't want to lose you either but I don't know that spending time together will make any difference ... I meant what I said about not coming back ..."

"I know you did ... but just give it a try ... time .. that's all I'm asking ... I know I've told you before that I miss you, but you have no idea how much"

"I dunno ... I mean I still hate you" She grinned "But I can give it a go I s'pose ... I miss you 'n all ... a bit"

"I want to say ditto"

"Go on then"

-OG-

 _ **A/N: Firstly Debbie and I would like to thank you for all your kind words and lovely reviews (don't take any notice of her when she says she didn't do anything, she is just being modest) we decided not to let Molly fall on his neck with glad cries of forgiveness, we are pretty sure that he'd have to work a hell of a lot harder than that to re-build what they once had that he'd wrecked, but hope for their future relationship is something I'm sure we all want to see and read about ... well I know I do ... so we hope that you enjoyed the 2**_ _ **nd**_ _ **part of this.**_


	3. Chapter 3

_**Justice for Molly**_

 _ **Part Three – A Way Back?**_

 _ **-OG-**_

It was almost a week since the Families day so she'd been back talking to him for all of seven days, and in that time had seen him just once for a drink in the pub so it wasn't like they'd spent hours and hours together talking things over or anything, an hour in the pub and that had been bloody excruciating to say the least, lots of long awkward silences and so many no-go areas. It seemed like he was even more anxious than she was not to say the wrong thing and there was this huge bit of her that was totally bloody dubious as to whether any of it at all was a good idea. Six months she'd been on her own, well not completely on her own of course, you never are in the bloody army, but it was five months, three weeks and four days since she'd finally had enough and had walked out of that house and left him to it and a lot had happened since then. A couple of short tours and a lot of hours spent on her own sobbing into her pillow and remembering how he used to say she was the last thing he wanted to see and how she still did feel like that sometimes and torturing herself that she was to blame for everything even though she knew in her heart that she wasn't. It wasn't her fault. But now things had changed and she'd starting putting it all behind her and was getting happier with her new life, she had this new job which she loved and new friends and an extra stripe which he didn't even seem to have noticed, well alright maybe he'd called her Corporal when he'd been talking to Staff, although she couldn't swear to that now, but he hadn't said anything at all about it to her. And she'd actually got to the stage of going hours, whole days even, without thinking about him at all and now suddenly it had all gone back to square one and she wasn't sure it was what she wanted. And all that time she'd been successfully pretending that Georgie bloody Lane had never been her mate in the first place.

She still didn't know what exactly had gone on with him and Georgie, she'd shut her mind to the details, hadn't wanted to know any of them but the need to know had started to make itself felt again, and bloody thinking about it meant her imagination kept insisting on filling in the gaps and she didn't want to hear it, she didn't want to go back there. It had taken a very long time for her to get to the point of leaving him, but every day things had been getting a bit worse until he wasn't the Charles that she'd married anymore and he didn't seem to care and he didn't care about her anymore either. When she'd called him and told him she thought it was time to call it a day, he'd begged her to wait till he got home and she had, and then nothing had changed so she'd left and even that didn't seem to have made any difference. Before she'd left, he had all this trouble sleeping so would stay up almost all night to avoid lying in bed next to her wide awake, and they hadn't had sex since he came home, well not in just about forever, it just didn't happen. Because it wasn't her affection, her love, that he wanted, so in the end she'd left because it was better to break her own heart than it was to live day after day with someone who was slowly breaking it for her. She knew he was ill, or rather that he didn't seem to be himself and that it was getting worse, but she couldn't find a way of getting through to him, she'd tried everything, and then after Elvis, well, Georgie was in the way and hard as it was she had to accept that he seemed to love his dead mate's girl more than he loved her. That he cared more about Georgie than he did about anything else, more than about their marriage or even about his own son. He'd pushed them away and now she couldn't just pretend that nothing about any of that mattered anymore, it did.

Turning up for the refresher, she'd known it was only going to be a matter of time for days like this to crop up, days when she was forced to work alongside bloody Georgie Lane, or at least like today when they'd both be rostered on some training or other at the same time. Every medic had to do these refreshers once a year, they all had to be assessed to make sure they were up to speed on resuscitation otherwise they would just keep on having to do them until they were, and short of pulling a sickie there was no bloody way she could get out of it. Asking Staff to get her a re-scheduled day would have meant explaining chapter and bloody verse to him about why she didn't want to do it and she wasn't that sure he'd be sympathetic, she had a feeling he would most likely tell her she should just get on and do the bloody thing, show them what she was bloody made of and that she knew her stuff and take no notice of anything else.

It wasn't that she was exactly hopping mad with her anymore, no longer wanted to kill her or anything, or that she blamed her for everything, she wasn't even mad at him the way she had been first off, but she wasn't a fucking pushover either and she didn't owe Georgie Lane anything and didn't want to work with her, or have to talk to her or be nice to her either. But trying to keep well away from someone was much harder than she'd thought when there were only twelve of them stuck in one room all day with an instructor who didn't seem to 'read' atmospheres so kept on mixing them up and making them work together with different people. Molly was buggered if she was going to get herself in bother for arguing or disobeying a direct order even if she did want to be awkward and tell him that she refused to have anything to do with her, but if she did that Staff Geddings would give her hell and say he was disappointed in her. He'd ask how she could possibly be a mentor if she couldn't keep her own mouth zipped and couldn't do as she was bloody told without arguing the toss herself.

"Molly"

"Fuck off"

"Can you just wait for one second? ... I need to talk to you ... it won't take a minute"

"You've got nothing to say that I wanna hear"

"Look, can you at least hear me out ... it won't take long... you don't understand ... I know that you and Charles are trying to sort things out and... maybe even get back together and I just want you to know... "

"Who told you that?"

"I'm not sure, I think I may have just heard it somewhere"

"Don't give me that, someone told you ... was it him? My husband that you seemed to 'ave forgot was my husband ... did he tell you? Cos if he did, he told you wrong ... we're not getting back together .."

"Oh ... Well maybe it was me that got it wrong ... it's just that I really want to talk to you about what happened, I need to explain... "

"Nah, whatever it is ... I'm not interested ... tell you what, why don't you just fuck right off and leave me alone ... stay away from me, Georgie, I got nothin' to say to you"

Molly turned and deliberately walked to the other side of the canteen without looking back to join the rest of the noisy group pushing tables around so that they could all eat together but her fists were clenched and inside she was fuming. What the hell did he think he was doing talking about them, and with her of all people, and why the fuck was he telling her they were getting back together when he knew that was bollocks? She'd told him often enough that it wasn't going to happen, and he'd just made doubly sure of that.

Georgie didn't even try to follow her or to join in with them, instead she spent the whole break sitting on her own and chatting away to someone on her mobile. Molly was hyper aware of her and what she was doing and had a really bad feeling that it was Charles she was talking to, not that she had any proof, she didn't hear her say his name or anything, it was just a feeling.

Resuscitation was actually quite a fun course to do normally, it was definitely one of the better ones and usually she'd have enjoyed doing the old Call Push Rescue, practising thumping rubber dollies then bouncing up and down on them and giving them mouth to mouth even though she knew, as they probably all did, that it was nothing like actually resuscitating someone who'd gone flat in the field. Doing it on a dolly lying still on a mat that wasn't covered in blood or puke was a whole different ball bag. And playing with the defibrillator and doing the rapid heart restart was okay as well, even though she kept getting the giggles when every time she yelled "clear" one of the idiots acted like she'd electrocuted him and started flinging himself about like a frog on speed, well he did until the instructor bollocked him and threatened to put him on a charge if he didn't pack it in. And come to think of it she couldn't actually remember having one of them kits when she'd been out in the field, still, might come in handy to know how to use one in case she was ever on the tube and someone keeled over, always supposing there was a defib lying about somewhere.

Being put to work together in a pair with her after lunch by the sadistic instructor that Molly was convinced saw more than he was letting on turned out to be not as bad as she thought it was going to be either. It turned out to be easy not to look at her when all twelve of them were sitting in pairs chanting the A,B,C of resuscitation out loud and then waiting to see whose lucky turn it was when the instructor slowly scanned the room and picked on a pair to say what it actually meant and to demonstrate on their partner the steps they had to do to achieve it. He kept on banging on about how they had to know it by heart, without having to stop to think about it so that Molly wondered if he thought they'd never had to use it before, or how much time he'd actually spent as a battle casualty medic. He seemed to be convinced that they'd all forget every bit of how to do any of it at all unless he kept on yelling the same things at them over and over.

"I think we've got it, don't you?"Georgie stage whispered in her direction out of the side of her mouth before adding "How long are we going to do this?"

"Till he reckons we know it I s'pose ... or till he gets bored torturing us"

"I didn't mean that, I meant you and me, Mol, I want to tell you what happened ... show you that it's not what you thought... think ... just give me a chance ... and to tell you how sorry I am about ... well, everything"

"Was it Charles you was talking to at lunch?"

"Charles? No ... and he didn't make a point of telling me that you were getting back together either, I saw him briefly day before yesterday I think and I asked him if he'd heard from you, that's all, and he said you'd had a cup of tea together ... and ..."

"If you two ladies have quite finished your mother's meeting, can we get back to the job in hand?" They hadn't noticed the instructor moving to stand right in front of them with his legs apart and his hands on his hips "Corporal Lane, if it's not too much trouble will you please answer the question I just asked"

"Umm ... I'm sorry, Sir, I'm not sure I heard what you said"

"No of course you didn't, you were far too busy gossiping ... now will someone who _was_ listening please tell her what the question was?"

The rest of the afternoon seemed interminable to Molly, their instructor might well know his stuff, you don't get to be an instructor if you don't, but her attention kept wandering. He was a boring fucker whose idea of training people was to keep repeating the same things over and over and his voice was starting to get seriously on her tits. He definitely wasn't as good at it as the Sergeant who'd done it last time, so getting her assessment signed and then getting the hell out of there couldn't come quickly enough for her.

-OG-

"I'll drive"

Charles had sounded pleased and surprised to hear her voice when she'd rung him after work and had immediately offered to come and pick her up, had suggested they could maybe go for a pizza or something so that Molly had began to regret the impulse and change her mind. She didn't want to go for a nice cosy pizza with him, all she wanted was a chance to ask him to tell her, to fill in the blanks for her. Whatever the truth was about him and Lane, she wanted to hear it, and from him, not her, and she wanted the exact truth, not some whitewashed version that showed either of them, or both of them, in a sympathetic light. She'd thought about it a lot during the last bit of that interminably long and deadly boring afternoon and knew that she had to know, that it was no good keep on burying her head in the sand and that she was never going to get a calmness in her nut until she knew for sure that the decision she'd made to leave and pick up the pieces of her own life was the right one.

"Here"

He tossed her the keys and tried hard to hide his grimace as he held the door for her and then went round to get in the passenger side as Molly grinned. He hated being a passenger, but one of the things she'd really missed was having access to a car, especially after she'd worked so hard to get her license, had refused to give up trying even after she'd failed her test three times. In fact one of the things she was most looking forward to was saving up enough to buy herself a car of her own. She shuffled her bum around for a bit trying to get the seat close enough to the pedals as he tried to get the one on the passenger side back as far as he could, and took a deep breath of pleasure as she started the car, and stalled it. Fuck. She stole a glance at him and saw what she took to be a condescending smile on his lips as she gritted her teeth and tried again, then pulled away from the kerb as smoothly as she could and resisted the huge temptation that she had to put her foot down and speed up the High Street. He'd always insisted that she scared the shit out of him when she drove too fast, which was most of the time in his opinion, and only the fact that it was a 30 mile limit was stopping her from giving it some real wellie. But if she was going to get insurance on her own car any time soon she couldn't afford to get a speeding ticket.

"Where we going?"

"You're driving"

She was waiting at the junction with the A303 and as soon as there was what she thought of as a reasonable gap in the traffic set off in the direction of the M3 and ignored his sharp intake of breath as some dick sounded his horn. She wondered whether to head for Fleet services knowing that he'd be shitting himself at the thought of it, he'd always said that it aged him 10 years sitting next to her while she drove on the motorway. After a few miles she pulled into the car park at the Little Chef and heard his involuntary sigh of relief so was almost tempted to pull out again and drive further up till she got to the motorway but then switched the engine off, this wasn't about enjoying herself scoring points, this was about finding out the truth about what he'd called him taking the wrecking ball to their lives.

"This do?"

"Lovely, come on Ayrton Senna"

"Who?"

He was out of the car and waiting for her as he shook his head and laughed softly then put his hand on the small of her back to guide her towards the bright lights of the entrance to the cafe, and she had this strange feeling of safety, not that she would ever trust any bloke to protect her ever again, they couldn't be trusted, none of them, not even him. And not that she needed any protecting either, she could manage perfectly well without some bloke looking out for her and the only qualm she had was a momentary one about the fact that the lights were going to show just how spectacularly rough she looked. She'd barely even brushed her hair let alone put any slap on, and was wearing her oldest, scruffiest jeans, but then it wasn't that sort of occasion. She'd just splashed her face with cold water and brushed her teeth to make herself feel better, but had known that if she'd thought about it for too long or started worrying about what she looked like, she'd give it a miss completely.

"Was that you she was talking to at lunchtime?"

"What? I've got no idea what you're talking about, who?"

"Simple question, were you talking to Georgie lunchtime today?

"No ... why the fuck would you think that? I haven't spoken to her for weeks"

"That's a lie ... you saw her the other day, she told me, and you told her some old cobblers about how we was getting back together ... which was a lie ... I want you to do me a favour, Charles, I want you to stop telling me what you think I wanna hear ... I want to know the fucking truth ... all of it ... I can't just pretend that it wasn't her you wanted ... can I?" She looked up at the appalled expression on his face "I need to know Charles and I need to know the truth not some bullshit you think will keep me happy"

She was making every attempt to keep her voice down. The place was fairly sparsely occupied, but even so she didn't want to run the risk of starting yelling at him in front of an audience and talking about it was making her want to yell.

"Yes I saw her, but it was only in passing ... and I didn't tell her anything of the kind" He ran a hand over his head "There's bits of it I don't understand myself ... it just all ... my counsellor said I was depressed ... I told him what you said about hiding behind the uniform and he said you were 100% right, that you were absolutely spot on, and that I was doing it because I found it too hard to face the way I'd fucked everything up and all the bad decisions that I'd made and how hard it was to face the fact that I'd let everyone down. I was exhausted but every time I closed my eyes I kept seeing him flying through the air and lying there on the ground next to me ... Elvis ... my oldest friend ... dead ...and I kept seeing her face when she realised she couldn't do anything to help him ..." He stopped while the waiter put their food in front of them and then took the paper serviette off the cutlery, although he wasn't in the slightest bit hungry, just fiddling around with it gave him thinking time. He was totally aware that if he fucked this up he was never going to get another chance to try and explain how he'd felt responsible for what had happened to Elvis and for George's life without him. How he'd had these feelings of desperately needing to make amends, of needing to protect her in some way, to look out for her and how it was his responsibility to try and make everything better and in doing that she could perhaps start to make sense of everything for him at the same time. And how he'd got the whole thing so catastrophically wrong, and hadn't even begun to see that until after she'd left him. "Everything you said to me that day was true"

"Did you sleep with her?"

"Do we have to do this here?"

He took a quick glance round at the other people sipping their drinks and eating their all-day breakfasts or whatever it was they were tucking into and wondered how much they could actually hear. He hadn't slept with her, but there were all sorts of complicated reasons for that, none of them because he hadn't wanted to. Charles looked down at the cutlery he was carefully lining up on the edge of the plate by the food he hadn't touched, he'd known this was going to come up sooner or later but still hadn't worked out exactly what he was going to say when it did. He couldn't lie and anyway wasn't sure she would believe him if he tried to.

"I'll take that as a _yes_ then shall I?"

"No ... I didn't ... but I can't lie to you Molly, I wanted to, I thought about it all the time, I thought it would make everything ...right ... that she understood what was going on in my head, that she knew because she'd been there as well and had seen it all, we'd been together through so much and I thought being with her was the answer to ...oh so many things ... but no, I didn't actually sleep with her"

"Why not, if you wanted to so much, why didn't you just do it?"

"For a long time that's exactly what I did want, I forgot about everything that was important to me ... and then I kissed her ...and called her Molly ... she told me it didn't matter and that she didn't care because she didn't love me, that she still loved Elvis and was lonely for him not for me in his place ... and then she said that she didn't believe I loved her either ... and I suppose I knew she was right and that I was clinging to something that didn't exist because I was afraid to admit that everything was fucked ...she kept telling me I was fragged and she was right about that as well, just as you were, but it took me a long time to wake up to myself"

"You still wanted to though didn't you? That's almost as bad as doing it"

Molly emptied a small amount of salt out of the salt cellar and began to draw circles in it with her fingertip on the table top. She had wanted to know, had insisted that he had to tell her and that he had to tell her the whole truth, but now she didn't know how she felt or how to react. He'd been honest, well she was almost sure of that, but all she wanted was put her hands over her ears and start 'lalala ..ing' loudly. How the fuck was she expected to feel now?

"And you would 'ave done wouldn't you if she hadn't put a stop to it?"

"I don't know ... all I do know is how glad I am that it didn't happen ... it was all wrong ... it was for all the wrong reasons .."

"Far as I know, there is only one reason for wanting to do it ..." She pushed her plate of untouched food away and went to stand up "Come on, I'm tired, it's been a long day ... I wanna go home"

"That's it? We're not going to talk about it anymore?"

"Nah ... told you I wanna go home"

-OG-

 _ **A/N: This is the 3**_ _ **rd**_ _ **part of the 2 parter that we weren't going to write ... there will probably be a 4**_ _ **th**_ _ **part as well... if we can bear to go there after tonight's episode ... thank you to everyone who reviewed and was so supportive of the first two parts, we hope you will continue to follow Molly's journey with us and will tell us if you want us to continue ... And to the person who reviewed (if you can call it that) under a false name and called me barking mad and accused me of being out of touch and only representing the views of a minority group because I don't like the way the story is panning out on screen ... suffice it to say that Debbie and I are entitled to our own opinions and I will continue to write what I like ... no-one is holding a gun to her head and forcing her to read anything she doesn't like, so a bit of advice for her, just don't read it if it offends you. I exercise that option myself on occasion, as we probably all do, but I would never demand that anyone else only writes what I approve of ... Oh and I will move on in my own time, not hers. I do not respond well to being bullied.**_


	4. Chapter 4

_**A/N: Thank you all or your kind words and lovely reviews, Debbie and I are really grateful and are pleased that so many of you are staying with us. Chapter four is a work in progress, we are currently beavering away at it and hope to get it out in the next few days, I have a feeling we're going to need something optimistic after the last two episodes of this series, and there will be a chapter five (those that know me won't be surprised) ... so we do hope that you enjoy this ...**_

 _ **Justice for Molly**_

 _ **Chapter four – The first step is the hardest**_

-OG-

"You don't want to drive?"

"Nah thanks ... just wanna go home"

"Please Molly ... please don't do this ... talk to me"

"I don't know what you want me to say Charles"

"I don't know ... I only wish I did ... but please will you just say something ... shout at me, scream" He ran his hands over his head and then looked at her before putting the key in the ignition "Hit me if you like ... actually, more than anything what I want is for you to come home with me ... so that we can talk"

"But it's not my home is it?... and we've talked ... it's yours"

"Of course it's your home ... it's ours ... and I know it's never going to be enough, but I am so sorry"

"Yeah I know ... me own fault, shouldn't have asked I s'pose"

"You had every right to ask ... but I wish you hadn't either"

He started the car reluctantly, he had no idea what he wanted to say to her, except that he wanted to beg her to understand that he hadn't set out to do any of it, that in fact he hadn't even been aware he was doing it until he'd woken up one day and found that his life had disappeared. That all the plans he'd made, that they'd made, were dead and it all meant nothing anymore and that the home they'd shared was just a house that was empty of anything that mattered, but there was nothing he could say now that was going to make a scrap of difference, it was a waste of breath trying.

The drive back to barracks was the shortest he'd ever known, it seemed to fly by as they sat in silence and he watched the road and the other traffic while Molly turned her head away and looked out of her window. She was dry-eyed and stony faced and was wrapped in the kind of silence that made him selfishly want her to be in tears, to show some sign that she was upset about the end of their marriage, but knew that wasn't going to happen, she wouldn't cry, not with him there. She'd always worn an invisible armour and no matter what happened she had always absolutely refused to show what she saw as the weakness of tears, in fact the only times he'd seen her really come close was when they were in the compound by the bridge and she'd told him how much he'd hurt her and then again when they buried Smurf. She used to say she was as hard as nails but the more he'd got to know her the more he'd seen that she was anything but, that what she meant was that she did her crying in private. It had been a long time after they were first together before she'd even let him see the tears and those days were long gone again now. There was no way back from here and he knew it. He wanted to cry himself.

"Right ... so ...here we are"

The falsely jovial tone he managed to get into his voice jarred even him, he didn't want to sound all civilised and reasonable and fine with it all, as if none of it at all mattered to him, he wanted to scream and beg and plead for her to understand and give him another chance, and knew he wouldn't do any of it.

"Right ... well, night"

"We'll need to get together and talk at some point, we have things we'll need to sort out"

"Okay... like what?"

Molly didn't really want to sit in the car outside barracks where people were most likely watching them and talk rationally about whatever the legal bits were of ending this bloody nightmare which she assumed was what he was talking about, for a start she had no idea about any of it, unlike him she hadn't been there before. What she really wanted was to get to the sanctuary of her room, close the door and have a bloody good cry. She'd thought she was well over it, over him, had prided herself that she'd come to terms with losing him and him being all over Georgie, but it was one thing being dead suspicious about something and telling yourself that it didn't matter to you anymore, that you were getting on with things, but it was another thing entirely to know she'd been right. To know for sure that all those months when she'd been trying so hard to hold things together, his head had been somewhere else and full of someone else, and it was breaking her heart.

"Well ... we need to do something about the house for a start"

"Why? It's yours ... I already said didn't I? I don't want anything that ..."

"Stop it Molly ... please ... just stop ... FUCK IT ..." He slapped the steering wheel with both hands and then rested his forehead on them "You know something, I'm thirty four years old and I have to see a counsellor twice a week otherwise I can't do my fucking job properly, the job that I've been doing for years and years but that I don't believe in any more, my best friend is dead and ... even the lads are wary of me these days, they don't trust me ... and my own son is worried about spending time alone with me ... poor little bugger doesn't trust me either and I can't say I blame him ... I've let him down ... I've let everyone down and you know what the worst thing is? Worst of all I've been married twice and have well and truly fucked it up twice ... and I've lost you" He lifted his head slightly and turned to look over at her "And the counsellor tells me that I've still got a way to go ... _Jesus_ "

"Don't ..." Molly tried to smile and willed the prickling in the backs of her eyes to go away, and then had this insane urge to giggle for some reason "It's not that bad ... you will be okay"

"Will I?"

"Yeah ... course ... don't forget, you're what me Nan calls a good-un and she's never wrong is she? Well according to her she's not ... and she'd be giving you hell if she could hear you now"

"I bet she doesn't say that about me anymore"

"Nah ... well, maybe not ... but it isn't all your fault is it?"

"I wish I could believe that" He shrugged "But if it's not mine then I don't know whose fault it is ... It's certainly not yours"

"Is Sammie okay?" Suddenly she didn't want to talk about blame and who did what to who and whose fault it all was, it was too hard and felt like it was going over the same stuff again, which she definitely didn't want to do and she didn't want to feel sorry for him either, even if she was, a bit.

"Right ... Sam ... yep, I'm going to have to tell him aren't I?"

"What, he doesn't know? But Charles, it's been months and months, where does he think I've been hiding?" Molly was aghast "Why 'aven't you told him? Why hasn't your mum and dad told him come to that?"

"They don't know either, I haven't told anyone ..." He lifted his head up from the steering wheel and sat up straight "I don't know why, but I just kept putting it off somehow because it felt as if telling people would make it real" He took a deep breath and tried to smile.

"It is real"

"I know ... and I will tell him ... I'll tell at the weekend when he's with me ... he's going to be gutted"

"Don't say that ... don't try and make me feel bad ... you know I love him to bits, so can you please make sure you tell him that and that, well ... that I'd still like to see him sometimes ... if that's alright with you of course" The urge to giggle or cry or do both had disappeared so that she felt almost calm, even if the conversation felt surreal and as if they were talking about two other people entirely.

"Of course its alright with me ... and you don't need to tell me how much you love him ... look" He ran his hands over his hair again "It's the School 5-a-side thing Saturday and he was gutted not to be picked for the team, so I promised him that we'd go and sit through it ... you could come with us if you like ... only if you want to of course"

"Football? You? You bloody hate football ... you don't know anything about it either"

"Nope ... but you do"

"Okay ... if you like" Molly grinned "You'll call me? Arrange a time 'n that"

"You can bank on it"

Molly nodded and put her hand down to open the door and then leaned across on impulse and kissed him on the cheek, just the barest peck but it was enough to make his stomach turn over with longing as he sat and watched her safely in while all the time resisting the temptation to put his fingers on his face and touch where she'd kissed him. He started the car to head for home and a tiny nugget of hope flared in his chest that the door hadn't been slammed irrevocably shut.

-OG-

He'd really gone into the counselling session fully expecting to be applauded for the efforts he'd made to put things right with Molly, but instead Margot had pressed her fingertips together and looked at him steadily before starting to ask some very uncomfortably searching questions, questions that had made his stomach squirm so that by the time Saturday morning arrived he was filled with a cocktail of emotion which ranged from happy anticipation to total dread. She'd asked him to think very carefully about whether he wanted Molly to give him another chance because she felt sorry for him, or whether he wanted her to want him back in her life because it was him that she wanted. His first impulse was to deny that he'd ever said anything to try and influence her in any way with his pity party, but in his heart he wasn't 100% sure that it wasn't a major part of what he'd been doing, although he did just want her back. He desperately missed their life and wanted it back, but Margot had asked him whether he could give some thought as to whether Molly would perhaps go along to a session with him. She'd said it was often very helpful to have partners along, even those who had bailed, to hear a different perspective. Someone who would be honest and would tell their side of things, who would say how the PTSD had affected everything, and how that had made them feel, or whether he thought she was still so angry that she'd refuse point blank. Charles had realised that he couldn't say because he didn't know, and wasn't sure how he would go about asking her either.

Sam hadn't shut up for a second, he'd been talking nineteen to the dozen ever since he'd come barrelling in through the front door without even seeming to take a proper breath. It was the first time in a very long time that he hadn't seemed to be watching Charles carefully to see how he was going to react, and it was as if he'd been storing up everything that had happened at school and everywhere else in the preceding two weeks which made Charles smile and feel part of his life again, and then once he'd run out of things he'd been saving up to tell him, he switched to being full of the day ahead. He hadn't even asked where Molly was, he seemed to have accepted her absence from their lives a hell of a lot better than Charles had himself, but then of course, he didn't know that it was almost certainly permanent. Charles had carefully prepared what he was going to say, how he was going to explain it to him, or had done his best, but although finding the right words was one thing, finding the right time was unimaginably hard, far harder than he could ever have imagined. And anyway the more he thought about it the more the words that he'd run over in his head seemed inadequate somehow, so that once again he ended up putting it off, deciding that he knew exactly how Scamp was going to react to the news so it would be better to wait out until after the football had finished and then he'd sit him down and tell him.

"MOLLY"

"SAMMIE ... oi... oi... careful mate ... watch where you're going ... mind them bloody cars"

The minute he'd seen her Sam had raced hell for leather across the car park and had gone tearing up to her, not checking around for traffic before he'd flung his arms round her waist. She'd swung him off him up in the air and spun him round just as Charles reached them and added his voice to the outraged chorus of 'be careful' which Sam completely ignored.

"Daddy never said you were coming with us"

"Didn't he? Wouldn't miss it"

"I thought it would be a nice surprise Scamp"

"Well your dad don't know nothing about football, does he mate? He only knows about that game they play with the funny ball, the one where they cheat and pick it up ... so ... here I am"

"I like rugby too, Molly, it's just I'm no good at it"

"I 'm sure you are and I know you love it, I were only messing"

Charles was trying desperately hard to catch her eye, he needed to get the message to her that he hadn't said anything to Sam before she said anything, but she was avoiding looking at him. She knew immediately that he hadn't said a word to Sam about any of it, that he'd buried his head in the sand again because the whole thing was in the 'too hard box', but she wasn't going to be the one to tell the little boy either, whether it was a shit job or not, it was his shit job, not hers.

"Come on then Sam, tell me who's gonna win this thing?"

They climbed in the car with Sam's sweaty sticky paw still clinging tightly to Molly's hand until he was safely strapped in the back and she got in the front, it was as though they'd turned the clock back more than a year to when they were a family, before all this shit had really got a hold of them. She had a strong feeling that even though she suspected that Charles hadn't told Sam the way he'd said he was going to, there was something about the way the little boy had acted when he saw her that told her he didn't need telling, that he had a pretty fair idea of what was going on. At the very least he must be wondering why she hadn't been at the house and why they'd picked her up at barracks and why his dad hadn't kissed her.

"So, is it your school gonna win then Sammie? What colour are they?"

Sam had declined to hold her hand as they'd walked across to the tiered temporary seating obviously scared of who might see as Molly laughed to herself at the difference that paying a shed-load of money made. The Stratford primary her little brother was at would have had them sitting on the ground, and never mind how wet it was on their bums. Molly remembered what Charles had said about Sam being disappointed not to make the team.

"Now ... do we want them to win even if they never picked the best player?"

"They're the ones in blue ... and I'm not the best Molly" Sam pulled a sad face "Mummy says I've got to remember it's a team so they pick the ones that play best together ... and maybe next time"

"Yeah, your mum's dead right" Molly had just been about to slag off Rebecca and say she didn't know about football so didn't know what she was talking about, and even though he was being all grown up about it, she'd have told him that of course he was the best, exactly as she would have done if it had been one of her little brothers. She was still doing her absolute best to avoid catching Charles' eye, not that she was annoyed with him for not telling Sam, she could understand him not wanting to spoil the day before it even got started, but it was hard to remember how to behave in what passed as normal, it had been so long since the three of them had been anywhere together as a family.

"Right ...who's hungry?" For a minute he sounded all hearty, like a cheerleader or something "Burgers? Sam? Mol?"

"Yeah course, Cheeseburger for me ..." She looked at Sam "And one for Scamp 'ere, with everything on it ... and chips ... and a coke" She felt rather than saw Sam nod his head in glee, all the things he was normally not allowed, as she added almost as a sort of afterthought "Please ... Oh and you can 'ave one 'n all if you want"

"Lovely ... that's kind of you"

"I thought so"

Sam was still giggling as the first two teams of little boys ran onto the pitch and then he stopped and she felt his hand creep into hers. Squeezing his fingers she wasn't sure if the stiff upper lip shit was all a bit of an act he'd been putting on and whether he was still as disappointed as he had been at not being one of them, although why he needed to put on an act was beyond her, she thought he had a perfect right to be upset.

"Mol?" Molly turned to look at him with her eyebrows raised "Mummy said you and Daddy aren't married anymore ... that you don't love him like you used to ... so does that mean you're not going to be my stepmum anymore either?"

Oh wonderful, thanks a bleeding bunch Rebecca, what had she told herself about it not being her shit job to tell him?

"Nah, course it don't ... and I do love your Dad, he's my second favourite after you ... and you'll always be my stepson but you know sometimes with grown-ups it gets a bit ... 'ard ... when you fall out a bit and 'ave a fight ... like you do with your friends sometimes but that's all, I mean, ask your Dad, he'll explain"

"Ask dad what?"

"Don't talk with your mouth full"

Charles had come back laden with a pile of polystyrene boxes of burgers and was juggling cardboard cups of chips and cups of coke with lids, and straws and a stash of paper napkins which he was carrying caught between his teeth so that his speech was muffled as Molly became aware of the agonised expression on Sam's face. Even though he was giggling at Molly's words to his father he obviously didn't want to say anything to Charles about his worries.

"'ere, where's me ketchup? You know you can't have burger and chips without ketchup, can you Sam?"

"In my pocket"

He angled his hip towards her in an invitation as Molly hesitated just for a second and then slid her hand into the pocket of his jeans. It felt very strange to be running her hand down his hip and to feel the way his stomach muscles tensed when her fingers touched and then ran over the hollow by his jutting hip bone, it was the first time that she'd touched him for months. And she couldn't possibly miss the sharp intake of his breath at her touch as the sudden sense of nervous anticipation gnawed at him until she snatched her hand away trying to look nonchalant and tore the top corner on one of the sachets before handing it to Sam. But her fingers seemed to be shaking for some reason. She hated that she was nowhere near as immune to him as she kept telling herself that she was, but it had been a very long time since she'd felt even the tiniest amount of attraction for anyone, or from anyone for that matter, not just him.

The rest of the afternoon was spent with her being totally aware of his thigh resting only inches away from hers and wishing that Sam was sitting between them so he could act like some barrier, but Charles had parked his bum next to her on the end of the row so that he could stick his legs out and it would have been too pointed for her to get Sam to shift so that she could get away from his dad. And even though she tried hard to focus every bit of her attention on the little boys who were charging up and down the field, she was also totally aware of his every move, when he laughed and when he put his hands behind his head and whistled his encouragement and the way he kept darting little glances at her as she kept her eyes firmly facing the match and only spoke to Sam.

Sam's school eventually finished runner's up which was a great result because it meant they could genuinely clap and high five each other without feeling bad for Sam that he wasn't in the team that went up and collected the cup.

-OG-

"You know he already knows don't you? No need to tell him anything" Molly was rinsing her mug under the tap and kept her back turned towards him as she got ready to call a taxi, Charles couldn't drop her back now Sam was in bed and even though it had felt all wrong to insist on going straight home from the football, it felt far more wrong to still be there when it was just the two of them "He told me"

"Oh fuck ... Rebecca... I wonder why he didn't say anything to me?"

"Rebecca" Molly nodded "Maybe he didn't want you to be upset or cross with him or something"

"Shit ... what did you say?"

"Just that grown-ups fight sometimes but that I still love him ... and that I would still be his stepmum ... didn't know what to say really, I mean he knows what divorce is, doesn't he?"

"Molly ... can I ask you something? Margot wanted me to ask you if you'd be prepared to come to one of the sessions with me ... would you mind?"

"Who's Margot?"

Molly actually had a pretty fair idea who he was talking about, even though he hadn't mentioned her by name before, but she was trying to buy thinking time. She had no idea whether she wanted to go or not, even though her gut reaction was to run a mile and stay well out of it, she had a strong feeling that it could hurt.

"She's helping me, giving me coping strategies to use with the PTSD" He sat on the edge of the sofa and looked down at the floor between his feet "And she thinks it would be really helpful to hear what you have to say ... so ... what do you think?"

Molly could tell that even though he was striving for a studiedly neutral tone of voice, that he was trying to sound as though it didn't matter much to him either way, but that he really wanted her to say yes, that she would go with him so found herself going against her better judgement.

"Yeah okay ... if you think it'll help"

-OG-


	5. Chapter 5

_**Justice for Molly**_

 _ **Chapter Five ...Yesterday ...**_

 _ **A/N: The title of this chapter is based on the Beatles song because we feel that the words are apt. We have spent a lot of time considering the events that unfolded on screen the other night and then decided to ignore them ... that was not the CJ that we know and love ... so we're not going to do a re-write to turn him into someone we don't even like ... thank you for your on-going support and for the lovely reviews for the last chapter, we do hope that you will continue to enjoy this and won't want us to 'get real' and abandon them because of the misery fest that was the last series ... and we're sorry to those of you that loved the Georgie/Charlie (as she kept calling him) pairing, but we didn't so we're not going to apologise for not moving on from Molly and Charles. Chapter six is a work in progress ...**_

-OG-

"Molly" Margot leaned across the desk and shook her hand then indicated the chair on the left while Charles took the other one "Firstly let me say how much we appreciate you coming along here this morning" She smiled as Molly perched herself on the edge of the chair with a slightly anxious expression on her face, there was something about the room and the woman sitting behind the desk that made her feel like she was in the headmistresses room waiting to get a bollocking for some crime or other.

"Don't look so worried ..." Margot smiled at her "Now, has Charles told you what we're hoping to do here today?"

"Not really ... he just said you wanted me to talk about what it was like at home, you know, when ... things went a bit wrong"

This was definitely feeling like a bad idea to Molly and was getting worse by the second, what the fuck did this woman expect her to sit here and say? She surely couldn't expect her to slag him off, not in front of him, and not when it was supposed to be because he'd been ill so didn't deserve it, even if maybe he did, a bit. But all she felt as she sat there was this huge wave of nostalgia for the way things had been before it had all started, for the way he used to be when she'd been sure that he loved her.

"That's essentially what we're going to try and do ... yes"

"Okay ... but I dunno what you want me to say really, where you want me to start"

"Start wherever you like, Molly, there's no right or wrong place ..." She paused and waited for Molly to say something and then after a short silence added "Alright, perhaps you could tell us the first thing that comes to mind when you think back to that time"

Charles was still sitting with his head down looking at the floor between his feet and wondering what the fuck he'd been thinking of to bring Molly here so that he could sit and listen to her talk about how much all his involvement with Georgie had hurt her.

"He stopped talking to me" Molly was whispering as she twisted her hands together "We used to talk all the time, it was one of the things that made me ... made us ... well, but then he wouldn't talk to me at all, just kept avoiding me and then he wouldn't listen neither" She took a deep breath before speaking at normal volume "He was me best friend ... and he shut me out"

"Molly, no ... it wasn't ..."

"Charles, please ... we're talking about how it felt to Molly, it's up to us to just listen to what she has to say" She turned back to look at Molly and smiled encouraging, but Molly had already had enough, this was bloody awful, it was no wonder Charles didn't like it "Go on, so what did you do to try and make him talk to you?"

"There was nothing I could do" Molly took a quick sideways glance at Charles, but he was back to looking at the floor "I tried everything, he didn't even wanna take me calls so in the end I threatened to leave, even told him I wanted him to leave, everything I could think of, but he kept on insisting he was okay and that it was me imagining things, and he kept on taking these tours, seemed like he'd do anything to get away from me, just like he did from his first wife and I knew he really shouldn't, I knew he wasn't right, but he wouldn't listen to me would he? ... and then Elvis died"

Margot didn't need to do any more prompting, suddenly it was a relief for Molly to talk about all the things she'd been bottling up, all the things she'd hidden and hadn't told anyone, not even her own family.

"I knew just how bad he was feeling, Elvis was his best mate and they'd been mates for years, he'd been our best man so obviously I knew that, and that he'd loved him, well still did of course but when he got home he just shut himself off from ... well, everything, everyone, all of it ... wouldn't let anyone get close enough to even talk about it let alone try and comfort him, especially not me, he just kept pushing me away and telling me to leave it, to leave him alone and that he was okay, but he wasn't, he really wasn't ..." Molly paused and bit her lip "And then he went back to taking even more tours ...it was as if he was scared to be at home and needed to keep doing stuff and he definitely didn't want to be with me ... he told me once that he was better at living out of a Bergen and I s'pose that's what he was trying to get back to ... but I loved him, and I missed him and ... I wanted ... I dunno ... I wanted him to stop at home and get help, to go and talk to someone even if he couldn't talk to me ... so, I kept trying ... and then he did ... he found someone ... and I left"

" _Molly_..."

"Please Charles ..." Margot shook her head in his direction then turned back to look at Molly "Are you talking about Charles forming an attachment to Corporal Lane?"

"Yean ... it seemed like she took my place ... it used to be me but now she was the one that was with him all the time and he turned to her, it seemed he could talk to her when he couldn't talk to me, that he loved her and not me and there was nothing I could do about that either" Molly knew he was looking at her but kept her eyes firmly on the small middle-aged woman resting her elbows on the other side of the desk "I knew he was feeling bad about her, that she'd loved Elvis and didn't have him anymore ... and that he felt guilty about that ... and I kept trying to tell myself it was good he had someone to talk to ... same as I knew it was selfish of me, so I was a bit ashamed of it ... but I was so lonely, it felt like I didn't have him anymore either ... like he was the one who'd ... not that he was dead of course so it wasn't the same ... but it hurt and I couldn't tell anyone ..." She looked at Charles "Sorry ..."

Margot took a tissue from the box on her desk and passed it to Molly as Charles realised that his tough little Molly was crying, that there were tears pouring down her face at the way their marriage had fallen apart, exactly as he'd selfishly wanted a few days earlier in the car and felt a fresh wave of guilt at the pain he'd caused "None of it was your fault Mol ... it wasn't you ..." He was filled with a sense of shame and for the first time couldn't think of a single thing to say that would even go a small way towards justifying the way he'd behaved "You shouldn't be the one saying sorry, I should be saying it to you"

"This is not about apportioning blame" Margot's voice was very firm "It's no-one's fault ... let's make that very clear ... now, I'm sure that Molly as a medic knows a great deal about the way the body reacts when it's faced with pain, or danger or in fact trauma of any kind... and the brain is no different ... the body is flooded with hormones ... but then so is the brain ... which can sometimes make it exceedingly difficult for us to sort out what is real and what is not"

"Nah ... that's not right ... he's already told me he thought about her all the time, that he wanted to be with her ... and not me .."

"That doesn't mean it was real Molly, Charles is suffering Post Traumatic Stress which can be a very, very complex situation and the repeated flashbacks he was having meant his brain was struggling to make any sense of things ... of feelings ... of his new reality if you like ... sorry Charles talking about you as though you're not here" Margot smiled in his direction as he shuffled uncomfortably in his chair.

"What you sayin'? That he was struggling to sort the shit from the clay?"

"Pardon?"

"Just something Charles used to say sometimes"

"Well .. yes ... in a way ... but it's not that simple"

"Innit? Well when he got hurt first time, it was me he wanted, you know, when he got shot, but then second time it was her and I thought he was gonna die wanting her ..." Molly wiped her eyes again as a fresh flood of tears poured down her face and Charles wanted to crawl into a corner as he listened "And then after he still kept on pushing me away I couldn't take anymore of it ... I felt like I was a throw away person and that we were done with ... 'n I was so hurt and ... so bloody angry with him"

"It's alright Molly, no-one is asking you to justify the action you took, Charles is quite right when he said you did absolutely nothing wrong, and being angry with him is perfectly understandable, but where he is wrong is when he says it's all his fault. PTSD is an illness, and like any other illness we don't ask for it and we certainly shouldn't believe it will all just go away if we pull ourselves together and apologise, anymore than we would for any other illness" She smiled at Charles "And not everyone who is faced with ... painful issues ... suffers afterwards, no-one knows why some people are affected and others not, but unfortunately for those who are, it can have a great deal of impact on the people who are closest to them"

"Charles ..." She tilted her head to one side as she bestowed another one of her encouraging smiles on him "Do you want to tell us how you felt?"

"I never intended to hurt anyone and certainly not Molly, I didn't mean to shut her out or any of the rest of it, I didn't even realise it was what I was doing, I really believed I was seeing things as they were and that she didn't need me anymore, so that when she told me to leave, I don't know, it just felt as if it made sense, that it was what I'd been waiting out for. I was so sure that she was tired of what we'd had, although it was hard for me to remember exactly what that was and it's only now when I look back that I'm not sure whether any of it at all was true. I just wish there was something I could do ... or say ... that would ... I don't know what to say to be honest"

"I only said that to try and ... ...I never meant ..."

"What did you mean" Margot sounded interested, although Molly interpreted it as being judged so that her immediate instinct was to stand up for herself.

"I just wanted him to talk to me I s'pose ... to realise ...and _do_ something ... what I said just now, I wanted to make him think about ... how we were going to shit and how I couldn't do anything about it on me own" She really hadn't expected to feel as if she had to defend herself, it was an uncomfortable feeling that she might not have been quite as blameless as she'd always believed "But I can see now that it might have been the wrong thing, and if it was then I'm sorry"

"No-one is saying it was the wrong thing Molly" Margot was still smiling although Molly suddenly felt as if she had to watch what she said.

"He asked me the other day if I'd ever move back in, but ... it's not that I don't care about him anymore, I do, but I can't ... can't trust him ... ... he told me how hurt he is that his son don't trust him anymore and I'm sorry 'n that but I don't either ... how do ..." She turned to look at him "How do I know this wouldn't 'appen again?"

"You don't ..." Margot answered for him "There are no guarantees Molly, all you can do when you're recovering from any mental illness is to take advantage of the help that's on offer ... but it can take a very long time to re-build the trust once it's been shattered, there are no quick fixes I'm afraid ... and you really shouldn't make any decisions about anything until you are completely sure that it is the right thing for _you_ ... "

She half stood and leant over the desk then put her arm across to shake Molly's hand "Molly, unless there's something you'd like to add?" She paused and waited as Molly shook her head, "Thank you so much for coming in today and for being so honest, it can't have been an easy thing for you to do ... but you've certainly given us a great deal to think about and good luck with whatever you decide to do next ... Charles, I'll see you next time"

-OG-

"Mol ... ..."

"Don't ... don't say anything ..."

"Could you just shut up and listen to me for one minute, I want you to know how sorry I am that I made you cry"

"You didn't, I don't cry .. you know that ... just, you know, something in me eye, that's all, and you heard what the scary lady said ... it's no-one's fault so let's just shut up about it now ..."

"What? You thought she was scary?"

"Yeah ... bloody right I did, don't you? Bet you no-one ever says no to her"

"Indeed ... hard to imagine ... but no, she doesn't scare me ... but then I'm used to her I suppose ... look, I don't know about you, but I could do with a coffee before we head back"

"Tea bag does me" She smiled, wanting to see the smile appear on his face, that's if he even remembered that long-ago conversation "But I shouldn't, I ought to be getting back ... but on the other hand now you come to mention it, I could kill for a cuppa"

"Tea bag it is then... come on, what time did you say you'd be back?"

Actually, she was not only dry mouthed and desperately in need of a cuppa but was absolutely shattered as well. She'd found the last hour bloody exhausting not even counting the tears, and she'd only slept very fitfully the night before. There'd been a hell of a racket in the corridor outside her room until all hours as though someone had been having a bit of a drunken bash, one where they hadn't even had the decency to invite her, and she'd been a bit strung up about the meeting this morning as well. She'd found it hard to properly drop off and had kept dozing and waking and had, in fact, only fallen into a deep sleep just before the alarm had gone off so she was tired and her eyes were gritty as well as having a bit of a head ache. But the over-riding feeling she had was one of utter relief that it was over.

"Staff is expecting me about 2 ish, or before that if I can ... so, I really should get going" She saw the resigned look on his face although he didn't argue "Oh go on then don't s'pose it'll make much odds..."

"He won't expect you to go back without having something to eat ..."

"Not sure 'bout that and who said anything 'bout eatin' anyway? I'm not 'ungry ..."

"Well I am ... you can sit and watch me eat if all you want is a cup of tea ... but I'm probably going to be having chips with mine and just remember you can't pinch any off my plate"

"What you're not gonna share?"

"Nope ..."

-OG-

Fiddling around with menus and ordering food for him together with a cup of dubious looking coffee which they both knew he wouldn't touch, and a cup of builder's strength tea for Molly which was just the way she liked it and which made him shudder just to look at, saved them from having to look at one another or speak until the waitress had bustled off leaving them in a deep silence which both of them then struggled to fill.

"I'm sorry ... can't have been easy for you to just sit there and listen when I was slagging you off like that"

"You've got nothing to be sorry for ... and no, it wasn't, not particularly, although I probably deserved to hear it, needed to in fact, Margot obviously thought so anyway"

"Even so ..." Molly cupped her hands round her mug of tea and took a deep breath "Meant to tell you Saturday before the football that I had a really nice time, I was gonna tell you early in case I forgot to do it later ... but then I forgot"

"Couple of things wrong with that, Dawsey, you're not a hooker and I'm not a millionaire, unfortunately"

"Shame ... you tellin' me you remember?"

"Of course I remember, how could I bloody forget? How many times did you make me sit and watch that film?"

"A few ... it was dead educational ... was s'posed to give you hints"

"What, opera and shopping?"

"Yeah ... without the opera"

He shook his head and laughed and took a bite of his Panini as he watched her face, loving the way it lit up as she giggled and slid her fingers stealthily across the table to steal one of his chips, the chips that he'd actually bought for her to eat. He was finding it very hard to believe that they were sitting in a cafe together laughing at the memory of her making him watch the same film countless times after the morning they'd just had, he couldn't remember the last time they'd done anything like it. Every time he'd seen her in recent weeks it had been strained and awkward and full of long angry silences, and before that it had been an even worse fucking nightmare, and even Saturday with Sammie in tow had felt forced.

"Oi ... thought you weren't hungry"

"Shame to waste 'em"

"Who said I was going to waste them?"

"You bought 'em for me ... go on admit it"

He pushed the bowl of chips towards her across the table and smirked as she slapped the bottom of the ketchup bottle and splattered the chips. "Oops" She looked up and grinned knowing he detested chips plastered with ketchup, as Charles tried his best to bury the memory of the way he'd felt when she'd put her hand in his pocket to find the sachets.

"Tell me about your new job ... are you enjoying it?" What he really wanted to ask was about her new boss, the one he had a feeling had a very soft spot for her, the one that she'd known even longer than she'd known him but bit his lip and swallowed the words "Is your boss okay? Good to work for?"

"Who? Staff Geddings? Yeah, best boss I've ever had" She grinned at him "I've known him since I first joined up ... he knew me when ... well, before I ever went off to Afghan, he keeps on reminding me what a gobby little madam I was in them days"

"Haven't changed much then ... and what do you mean the best boss you ever had?"

"Cheeky sod ..." She ignored the question about who had been her best boss, it felt a bit like treading onto dangerous ground "I'm not gobby, I'll have you know I'm really sensible these days, keep me gob shut and follow orders and everything"

"That I'd like to see ... still, got yourself another stripe I see, well done"

"Yeah, didn't think you'd noticed"

"Of course, I noticed .. "

He wanted to say that he'd always known she was brilliant and was going to be brilliant at whatever she did, but suddenly felt reticent, slightly afraid he might be pushing his luck.

"Oh shit ... what time is it?" Molly leaned across the table and lifted his wrist to check his watch, hoping he wouldn't ask her where hers had got to, the one he'd bought for her that was sitting in the box on her bedside table because somehow it had felt all wrong to wear it "Sorry, but I really am gonna need to get off, I'm gonna be well late as it is ... Staff will hit the bloody roof"

"I'll come and tell him it was all my fault if you like"

"Nah, you're alright ... I mean it's nice of you 'n that, but let's just keep things, you know, a bit separate"

She still had her fingers on his wrist so moved them to pat the top of his hand almost as if she knew that her words would sting so was apologising, and then sat in silence and looked at him as he twined her fingers into his and began to stroke his thumb across her knuckles and down to her fingertips not wanting to let it go.

"Charles ..."

"Hmmm?"

He was looking down at her tiny fingers entwined with his and badly wanted to echo his words from long ago and say "Come back to me" although he knew that this time there was no way on earth she was going to say "I will", he'd well and truly killed any chance of that. So he said nothing because he couldn't actually think of anything he could say that wouldn't break the spell that was suddenly surrounding them.

"Oh shit ... come on ..."

She broke it when she pulled her hand away as if she'd been shot or had suddenly woken up and then sprang to her feet while he tried his best to smile as he also stood up. Her comment about keeping things separate had been like a slap in the face, and touching her hand had not only bought back memories of the first time he'd ever touched her but had made the whole thing a whole lot worse. For the majority of the last hour he'd let himself get sucked into believing in some sort of dream where they were starting to put things behind them and touching her like that had had filled him with misplaced optimism. But of course they weren't, nothing could be further from the truth. Re-building was going to take a hell of a lot more than that even if she would ever want to, which was very far from a certainty.

"Bye then ..."

"Bye"

They'd driven back in the sort of silence that was filled with a million unspoken words and he stood and leaned against the car and watched her walk away from him, tiny and slight in her combats with her hair plaited neatly, the same way he'd seen her walk away from him a thousand times before, except that this time she hesitated after a few strides, then stopped and looked back at him over her shoulder.

"You was the best boss I ever had" She bit her lip and smiled "But then you already know that"

-OG-


	6. Chapter 6

_**A/N: Thank you for your lovely reviews and kind comments ... I know we are all feeling a bit let down and deflated, but Debbie and I hope you will stay with us and our favourite couple and that you will remember that things often have a tendency to get worse before they start to get better ... much as we would love Molly to just let him kiss it better and for life to immediately get back to our happy place, we don't think it would ever be quite that easy ...**_

-OG-

 _ **Justice For Molly**_

 _ **Chapter Six ... The 'Miss You' Nights are the Hardest ...**_

-OG-

"You're late Dawes" Matt Geddings looked at his watch and frowned "2 o'clock you said ... what bloody time do you call this?"

"Sorry, sorry ... I'm sorry Staff ... " She pulled a contrite face "Didn't mean to be ... got a bit held up"

"Well you're here now ... stop standing around like a wet weekend in Bognor and crack on, there's plenty to be getting on with" Geddings turned to look across the car park and watched as Charles' car pulled away "Alright was it?"

"Yes Staff ... well, you know ..."

"No ... can't say I do and can't say I want to either ... now stop standing around thinking on it and go and make yourself useful, you can start with sorting out the rota for next week"

"Yes Staff"

As far as Molly could tell for the rest of the day he'd decided to make it his mission in life to keep her hard at it, he seemed hell bent on keeping her nose firmly to the grindstone like the Geddings she used to know and love about a hundred years before and he obviously didn't want her to stop and talk to him about any of it which was just as well because she didn't want to tell him anything anyway. She was counting the hours till knocking off time. But he never let up once and seemed not to want her to have time to think about anything except work either, which was fair enough because it was what she was there for after all, but there was this great big solid lump of misery in the pit of her stomach that wouldn't go away and which kept getting her distracted so that she was making loads of stupid mistakes. All she could think of was getting back to her room and taking her boots off, lying on her bed and trying to get her head round the whole bloody day.

She'd always believed counselling was supposed to make you feel better; well that's what everyone said wasn't it? But it just went to show how much she knew about it because all that spilling to that bloody woman with the smile and all she'd got out of it was a head that was more all over the shop than it had been before. Alright so she wasn't the one supposed to be getting counselled, but it had bought it all back for her, all the crap she'd been busy trying to forget. She'd only just begun to feel a bit better about it all, had done all the heartbroken shit and the crying till she was sick, and had stopped being so pissed at him that she wanted to throw things at his head and now she was right back where she didn't want to be. A few weeks ago she'd thought she was going to do like Rebecca had and divorce him, could maybe take him for everything he had which to be fair wasn't a lot since Rebecca had got her hands on most of it, and admittedly it might not work out quite as well for her as it had for Rebecca, she hadn't got a kid, but he was the one who hadn't wanted that either. He'd kept on saying the time wasn't right, that there was no rush, that they should wait out a bit and now she could bloody see why.

But she'd done her best and had done it on her own, hadn't told a soul what was going on, although that was as much because she was ashamed of how easy he'd found it to get rid of her and to move on to someone else. And she didn't want to make all the people right who'd told her she was too young for him and that he was out of her league with her background, not like Lane who was the right sort of everything, right age, right accent and lucky her had the right sort of Dad, a dad that had a job so she had the right sort of family.

But fucking Lane was the one who'd hit on her best mate's husband, she was the one that had done that not her and she wasn't some poor misunderstood innocent who was so grief stricken from Elvis that she couldn't help herself, she'd known exactly what it was she was doing. Molly had only realised when she was lying on her bed running it over and over in her head that she still didn't have any answers. Margot had said he wasn't thinking straight or something like that, but Molly had sat there and told them all sorts, well everything really, while no-one had told her anything so she really was none the bleeding wiser and it was all very well saying it wasn't real or some such shit, it had felt real enough to her. And even though he'd sworn blind he hadn't slept with that bitch, she still wasn't sure she believed him and no-one had mentioned anything about that this morning, although the subject had obviously come up before because Mrs Counsellor seemed to know all about it.

Molly had only realised after it had all gone to shit and she'd been on her own trying to cope with the way she felt that she'd lost touch with all her mates, not that she would have told them when he'd started being a shit, she had too much pride to want to hear all the 'told you so's' but she'd had no-one she could talk to then, and she still didn't now. The trouble was she really wanted to believe him, actually wanted desperately to forgive him, maybe even to pretend none of it had never happened in the first place, which was impossible she knew, and anyway she just couldn't. Every bit of her had wanted to let him hold her hand that afternoon when she knew he was thinking about them in the FOB and just for a little while she'd completely forgotten that she hated him. It really pissed her off that it hadn't taken any time at all for her to see that nothing had really changed, that she did still love him, although maybe not as blindly as she had back when they were in the FOB, because looking back now she could see what a fucking pushover she'd been in those days. She'd been so naive, had loved him so much that she'd never really asked anything of him, had just adored him and believed every word he'd said to her without questioning any of it. All the promises he'd made on the day they'd got married on what she'd thought was the happiest day of her life was what made it so bloody hard now to believe that he still cared when he'd let her down the way he had.

-OG-

A day or so ago she'd finally got up the nerve after sinking a couple of glasses of wine to start stalking the lads on Facebook. It had been so long since she'd talked to any of them that she was nervous about just sending a message for some stupid reason, or maybe it was just that she was afraid of how much they knew about what had gone on, so that they might be uncomfortable talking to her. She'd seen that Fingers had posted a whole lot of pictures of their time in Bangladesh, but she hadn't looked at them too closely, she'd been too scared she'd see Charles and Lane smiling at each other the way he used to smile at her in Afghan which was pretty stupid she knew. Not knowing for sure didn't take away any of the worry and the doubt, it just made them worse.

She got her laptop and then went back to lying on the bed trying to decide whether to log on. If she did she was definitely going to have a proper look this time and would maybe even send a 'Hey', but then put it away without looking at anything, suddenly totally fed up with being all on her own looking at four fucking walls. It wasn't doing anything at all to help her feel better and nor would looking at pictures of them all having a great time, it was just going to make her feel worse when she was stuck on her own in her poxy room in barracks feeling shit. And no matter how tired and fed up she was, if she went to bed at this hour to escape the way she felt for a few hours, she'd be awake again in the middle of the night and that wasn't going to do anything to help either, and anyway she was beginning to feel bloody hungry.

Putting on her jeans and a decent top and doing her hair took quite a bit of time but she needed desperately to make herself feel halfway presentable, alright to feel not quite so rough, and then she picked up the watch he'd given her and hesitated for a second before fastening it round her wrist, and looked at herself in the mirror before leaving the barracks and going across to the mess hall. She'd taken so much time that it meant all the decent stuff had gone. It was her own fault, she'd been in the army long enough to know that if you want something that doesn't look as if it tastes shit then it was no good turning up late when even the chips look cold and flabby and anaemic and the only things left are the tired looking salads and even they were all the hard-boiled egg ones not something interesting or appetising. It was still daylight outside, just, and wasn't cold but it still felt like it was too far to be arsed to walk to the pub and there were no guarantees that they'd have anything left either except for dried up sandwiches which might well have been there for a week.

She was standing feeling very conspicuously on her own and looking round trying to see whether there was anyone at all she knew that she could go and sit with and have a chat while she tried to eat some wilted lettuce and rubbery eggs and stuff because it might be a bit horrible but she was still bloody starving. She'd only had a few chips all day but definitely didn't want to sit on her own and think about any of that.

"Dawes ... Dawes ...over here"

"What you doing in 'ere eating with us peasants?" She hadn't noticed him before he'd started calling her over so had been scanning the room hoping to find a familiar face, but definitely hadn't expected it to be his. She was bloody happy to see him though and grinned as she walked over to where he was sitting on a table on his own and plonked her tray down. It looked like no-one was keen to sit anywhere near him, so it was a bit of an oasis of quiet in the room that was filled with racket "Thought a Sergeant like you would have a proper place to eat with proper food ... not this shit"

"I still work for a living ... and I'm re-connecting with my roots ..."

"What?"

"Never mind ... now sit down and eat whatever that is ... I still have a duty of care you know"

"It's a bloody salad ... what does it look like ... and are you trying to give me that you're me mother and me father and me grandma shit and all the rest of it?"

She carefully omitted the reference to boyfriend, even though she'd heard the spiel so often now she could have quoted it in her sleep.

"And don't forget I'm your bloody god as well will you?"

"As if I could"

"I should hope not, now as we've agreed you're still mine and I'm still yours even after all this time, are you going to tell me why you're walking round with a face like a slapped arse this last few days? That's not the Molly Dawes I used to know, she'd never let anything or anyone get her down, and if she wanted something badly enough, she went out there and bloody got it"

"Not that easy this time"

"What's the bastard done now?"

"Who?"

"That husband of yours ... I presume that's who we're talking about?"

"I thought you didn't want to know about it, that's what you said innit? And he's not a bastard, not always, I wouldn't have married him if he was, would I?"

"I have no idea how your mind works, never have and probably never will, and I say a lot of things ... some of them I don't even mean, so come on then, tell the nice Sergeant what's wrong"

"Where is he? I can't see a nice Sergeant anywhere" Molly giggled suddenly really glad that she'd been late coming over to the mess to eat. She hadn't been expecting him to be there and she'd forgotten how much she liked him when they were talking like this, she always had. Not that they'd spent a great deal of time together since her passing out, except just recently at work but the feeling that she used to get when he was her Corporal and she was a raw recruit that she was maybe a bit of a favourite of his was still there "And you can't say anything can you because it's still verboten for you to flirt with me"

"I never flirt with married women" He laughed "Make it a rule ... so tell me Molly, do you still drink Sambucca mouthwash?"

"Me? Nah, you must be mixing me up with someone else ... maybe Ka'y? ... I only ever drink warm flat lemonade, me"

"Katy? The girl who used to sort your locker for you? And do your kit for inspections? That one? The nice one, the one who used to obey my orders without a fucking argument"

"Don't know what you're talking about ... 'ere, how did you know she sometimes sorted me stuff?"

"Only sometimes? Try all the time and I knew everything ... I used to let you get away with fucking murder"

"Yeah, why was that? I mean I do know I was your favourite ... go on admit it?"

"Now who's flirting?" He laughed "Saved that girl's life didn't you? The one who was trying to hang herself ... what was her name now? Lauren, so I went easy on you for a bit"

"Did you? I don't remember it like that ... and did you just call me Molly?"

"Why not, that's still your name isn't it? Right, so we've established that it _was_ your Sambucca, so pub it is then ... far too many nosy sods sitting listening in this place"

"Okay Staff, pub it is"

"Matt ... not Staff, the name's Matt ... I'm not your boss this time of night"

-OG-

It had been a spur of the moment decision to just drive over and see if she would go out for a drink with him. He'd been restless and unable to settle to anything ever since he'd dropped her back after lunch his head full of her voice telling him how much his actions had hurt her and that he'd let her down, so had this sudden urge to just sit and talk to her, to look at her and to watch her face and see her smile, to make her smile, and to perhaps ask if he could take her out to eat again sometime soon, very soon, like tomorrow. Charles was aware that they'd never done any of the normal things that couples do when they're dating, they'd never had days out or been to the cinema or the theatre and the only films he could ever remember watching with Molly, apart from Pretty Woman, was stuff on Netflix and they'd watched those at home of course. They'd met and had fallen in love and then married in a very short and very intense period of time.

The trip to her room proved fruitless so he did a quick check of the mess hall in case she was in there eating before he had to give up and go home to his empty house, and was kicking himself for just turning up and not calling first, aware that she could in fact be anywhere even if she hadn't mentioned anything about plans for the evening. But then she no longer needed to tell him anything.

For one moment he stupidly assumed they had their heads together discussing some work related issue, but immediately realised neither were in uniform, and Molly's hair was loose round her shoulders and her face was lighting up when she laughed at something he was saying to her. It was the same way her face used to light up when she was with him, so this was very definitely not work. She hadn't noticed him standing watching, but then she was far too busy laughing with Geddings to notice anyone or anything else and as he stood and watched them get up to leave together the realisation hit him that he had absolutely no right at all to mind. But the fact that he'd forfeited any right to be jealous didn't stop him feeling as if he'd been stabbed, he was flooded with bitter jealousy as he recognised that it was his own fucking fault. She'd made it plain when they were talking to Margot just how badly hurt she was, the phrase that stuck in his head was 'a throw away person' and much as he didn't even want to admit it to himself, he was the one who'd done that to her, the one who'd made her feel like that, so who the fuck could blame her now if she chose to spend her time with someone who was so plainly fond of her.

"Molly..."

He knew he'd have been much wiser to just slip away but instead caught them up and lightly touched her on her arm before nodding an acknowledgement to Geddings who was holding the door open for her to go out in front of him.

"What you doing 'ere?"

"I thought perhaps we could have a bit of a chat ... that we could go for a drink ... you know there are one or two things that we have to sort out so I was wondering ... whether ... I just thought that perhaps if we went for a drink we could discuss ... but well ... I can see you're busy"

"Can't it wait? I was just going to the pub with Matt .. um .. with Staff Geddings..."

"Right ... hmmm ... yes ... so I see" He raised his eyebrows and adopted the annoyed tone of voice that Molly had always hated as she glared at him, wondering what the fuck he was doing there and what was going on with him.

"It's alright Molly, look ... it really doesn't matter, we'll do it another time ... I'll see you tomorrow morning bright and early"

"Nah... 'ang on Matt ..." But he merely patted her on the arm and started to walk away as quickly he could as Molly turned a furiously embarrassed face towards Charles.

"What you do that for? That was bloody rude ..."

"Matt?" His eyebrows shot up and his tone was peevish and questioning when he knew he had absolutely no right to be any such thing.

"Yeah ... that's right ... and? That's his name Charles"

"It's a bit inappropriate to be calling your superior officer by his Christian name isn't it Molly?"

"What? You really wanna stand there and talk to me about _inappropriate_ behaviour ... _Charlie_?" Molly was not only incredulous but totally incensed as she narrowed her eyes ready to have a fight, how bloody dare he? And she stopped caring who might be in the vicinity, she didn't give a shit who saw them ... or heard them "Right, let's talk about it then shall we? ... Oh and by the way I've known _Matt_ a very long time and I'm very fond of him ... he's been good to me so I'll call him what I bleeding well like, it's got nothing to do with you"

"You were very fond of me at one time"

"Yeah and look what good that did me ..."

"I'm sorry.."

"What you sorry for Charles? Being rude to Matt? Or trying to tell me how to behave ... or for fucking around with her?"

"I'm sorry for all of it" He looked totally miserable which meant Molly had to harden her heart. It was none of his fucking business who she went for a drink with, but even though they hadn't been together for a bit she could tell from the look on his face that he was really sorry, and was feeling complete shit.

"Yeah well, so you bloody should be ... Come on then, now you've made Matt piss off .. he was taking me to the pub to buy me a drink but he's not gonna do that now is he? So you can buy me one instead"

-OG-

"So what did you want to talk about?"

Molly knew she still sounded dead stroppy, but that's because she still felt stroppy. That was the first time in ages she'd been asked to go anywhere, to go for a drink or anything with anyone and alright, she knew it was because Matt was just feeling sorry for her, but she had actually wanted to go. Going for a drink with Charles wasn't the same, where once he was the one person in the world who would have made her feel all relaxed and happy, now he was the one who made her feel all on edge so that she wanted to snipe at him all the time. There was a prolonged silence before he said anything and then he didn't meet her eyes as he spoke.

"I thought maybe we ought to talk about ... the ... legal ... stuff ... agree on how we're going to deal with some of the issues" He paused "Sort some of it out before we get the solicitors involved"

She stared at him, momentarily struck dumb at what she'd just heard, and unable to think of a single thing to say that would make any sense. She couldn't believe that when she'd been lying there on her bed telling herself that still loving him wasn't enough and how she needed more he'd been doing the exact same thing only he'd been thinking about the best way to get shot of her completely. What the fuck had all that hand holding been about? And all that shit about her giving him time, that was only a couple of weeks ago, so was that enough time then? And getting her to do that with the fucking counsellor, what was that about? Molly gulped down the rest of her wine then got up ready to go, she didn't have to sit there and take any more of this.

"Where are you going?"

"Not sure what's that got to do with you ... I can't believe you came here and ballsed up my date with Matt so that you could start talking about this ... shit ... why was it suddenly so fucking urgent Charles, it could have waited ... thought that was what we was s'posed to be doing, waiting out before we made things final but obviously got that wrong ... mind you, I've got a lot of things wrong lately 'aven't I? ... and if you must know I'm going 'ome, don't want to sit 'ere looking at you do I?"

"It was a date then?"

"Nah ..." Molly took a deep breath as she felt the giggle bubbling up inside her "Not that sort of date you bellend ... you're jealous"

"Of course I'm bloody jealous ... and I lied ... I didn't come here to talk about all that legal shit ... I came to find you and to talk to you ... and then when I saw you, there you were having a lovely cosy little get together with him ... and it's obvious that he's fond of you"

"Glad someone is"

-OG-


	7. Chapter 7

_**A/N: Thank you so much for your lovely reviews and for the encouragement to keep going with this story ...we're doing our best to update as quickly as we can ... and to those people who have messaged me, I haven't abandoned Roadside Rescue... that is definitely my happy place so I will be back there as soon as time permits ...**_

 _ **Justice For Molly**_

 _ **Chapter Seven – No-One Else**_

He was flicking a beer mat backwards and forwards in his fingers and turning it round and round and then flicking it backwards and forwards again, concentrating his steady gaze on what he was doing rather than looking directly at her, although he was totally aware that she was waiting for him to say something.

"I'm sorry, I couldn't think of what to say ... I know I shouldn't have lied"

"Nah you bloody shouldn't of ... so why did you?" Molly longed to lean over and slap the beer mat out of his hands to stop him fiddling, it was really getting on her nerves "Mind you, you do quite a bit of lying these days don't you?"

"Stupid I know, I wanted to see you Molly, I wanted to talk to you and I don't know, I felt as if I needed to find some sort of excuse after I'd well and truly fucked it up again ... I seem to do a lot of that these days as well" He looked up from his mat twiddling and looked at her face for the first time since they'd sat down with their second drinks "But it was bloody hard seeing you laughing with him like that when I know he's very fond of you" He rubbed his hand over his face and smiled ruefully "And don't say he's not, Mol, because I can see it in his face when he looks at you, it's written all over him"

"So? Even if he is a bit fond of me and I'm not saying he is, not in the way you mean anyway, you've got no fucking right to be rude to him because you're _jealous_... he's my boss ... and you can't just march in and start telling me what I can do ... you chucked that away and if I want to go for a drink with someone I bloody will, I meant it when I said it's none of your business what I do anymore..."

"I know ... and I'd say I'm sorry, but I imagine you're getting pretty sick of hearing that ... I suppose what I'm trying to say is that I'm worried you're going to give up on me, give up on us"

"Well it's not like you've said sorry that much is it?" She took a huge swig of wine and thought about what he'd said about not giving up "You just said you're worried I'm gonna give up on you ... well how the fuck do you think I felt when you was all over her ... you obviously weren't worrying about us then were you? Weren't worrying about me giving up and you weren't listening to me either ... or even this morning by looks of it ... and you most probably was _fucking_ her ..." She picked up her glass and drained the last dregs from the bottom, she really hadn't meant to say all that "I know, I know, you said you weren't ..." She could hear the small sounds of denial that he was making "I heard you and I heard all that this morning, Charles, it's just I'm not sure what I believe" She paused and thought for a second "Nah, that's a lie, I do know actually ... I think you lied to me, _Charlie,_ or at least you was fucking economical with the truth but that it didn't matter that much at the time ... and then after .. it bloody did ... does ... and I know I already told you but you don't seem to have the first clue of how much it hurt and how hard it is to even think about it"

"Don't call me that ... please"

"What _Charlie?_ Why not, it's what she calls you innit? ... or is that the problem?"

"No ... it was what Elvis called me ... that's why she did ... you know, if I could go back and change everything that happened I'd do it in a heartbeat ... I know the _scary lady_ told you it wasn't my fault and that's what she keeps on trying to tell me as well, that I'm not to blame, but it bloody was my fault ... I know it was, all of it and I'm not talking about Elvis, I'm talking about you and me"

"I know you are and I know that you're sorry now ... you keep on telling me ... but I'm not sure I can ever look at you same way again ... see the bloke I loved ... the same one I married ... I just dunno" Molly shook her head as he gestured towards her glass, getting pissed wasn't going to help and a third glass of wine would almost certainly tip her over the edge, on top of which she was dog tired and thoroughly fed up again "Look, I'm gonna go, it's been a long day and I'm tired, need some kip and I've got a bit of an headache"

"Come on then, I'll walk you back" They left the pub side by side but without touching as they crossed the road towards the main gates and carried on strolling slowly towards barracks without saying anything, but it wasn't a companiable silence, it was more that neither of them could think what to say. All Charles could hear in his head was her voice repeating over and over again the word _loved_ in the past tense.

"I've been thinking ..."

"What 'bout?"

What Molly really wanted to ask was whether that was him thinking with his head or with some other bit of him, she was swinging wildly between wanting everything to be alright between them and giving him a chance to make it up to her or at least to try so that she could feel him put his arms round her and give her a hug, and this need to keep on punishing him, to keep on sniping.

"I was thinking that we never really had much of a chance to do things together before we got married did we?"

"Nah ... " Molly stood still and then looked up at him with an incredulous expression on her face "If I remember it right before we got married we was a tiny bit busy fighting a fucking war, and it was _against regulations_ 'n all, remember that? Oh wait a minute seems it still is, but maybe not for everyone ... and after that we was busy waiting out for you to finish rehab and be in one piece again ... do you really think going to the pictures a few times now or maybe going to Bingo is the way to make it all better ... make it all go away ... are you kidding me?"

"Nope ... well I wasn't but when you put it like that ... I suppose I thought that perhaps we could go out for the day, just the two of us, you and me on our own and get away from the army and everything else for a few hours ... just spend time together, what do you think? How about the weekend ... Saturday? Or Sunday if you're not busy?"

"I dunno" She wanted to say she would go out with him because she actually did want to, but couldn't quite bring herself to say the words "Maybe ... I'll think 'bout it and then ring you ..when I see what I'm doing at the weekend"

In fact she already knew exactly what she was doing. It was the same as most other weekends, she was doing her laundry and then ironing it, and was going to tidy her room and then Skype the kids or maybe do some window shopping just to get out for a bit, and then maybe go for a run and after that she was going to look at four fucking walls again and hope that someone in barracks was having a piss up that she could invite herself to.

"Where was you thinking of going?"

"I don't know, I thought perhaps you'd like to choose, somewhere without too many trees of course ... we could have a picnic or a pub lunch"

"I'll 'ave to see what I'm doing"

They were nearing the entrance doors to her barrack block when their reasonably amicable discussion was brought to an abrupt end by a gang of extremely drunk squaddies who were holding one of their number upright while they struggled to get the doors open and then half carried him inside.

"Jesus Mol, I wish you'd come home, you don't have to stay here ... there's plenty of room and ..."

"This _is_ my home now and I'll be fine ... don't worry they don't bother me" Her heart sank at the thought of yet another night of desperately trying to get some sleep and doing her best to block out the racket of their party or whatever it was. Once again it would be like trying to sleep in the middle of the motorway services with a stag party making a pit stop.

"It bothers me"

"Well not much I can do 'bout that is there? ... I'll ring you about the weekend ... night"

Charles stood for a few seconds and watched the door where she'd disappeared, he was tempted to go inside after her and have another go at persuading her to come home with him, or to go in and pull rank although none of those squaddies had ever been on his radar as far as he could remember, and then he did neither. He had no real choice but to wait and see if she called him, there was nothing else he could do.

-OG-

"Good morning"

"Mornin' Staff"

Molly had actually been dreading the moment when she was going to have to pitch up in front of him and had so far managed to stand to attention and salute him without getting anywhere close to looking him in the eyes. As far as she was concerned the whole thing was beyond embarrassing, Charles couldn't have made his suspicions about Matt and her any clearer if he'd written them on a 6 foot high banner, but then suddenly couldn't bear the thought of not saying anything, spending a whole day with a fucking great big elephant in the room was beyond awful. She'd be crapping herself with worry about what he was thinking every time she set eyes on him.

"Staff, I really am sorry about all that shit last night ... he had no business being like that, it were just ... well a bit of dick waving ... and he knows that ... and it's me he's pissed at, not you ... still I am sorry you got caught up in it"

"Not your fault so don't worry about it"

Matt smiled at her but inside he was still fuming. Not with her, he meant what he'd said about knowing it wasn't her fault, but he was furious with that arrogant fucker she was married to, and if she was right and it was her he was pissed at, he had no bloody right to be. In all the years he'd known her she'd been a feisty little so and so, which was a major part of her charm for him, along with the fact that she was very easy on the eye and hit the spot where he was concerned, the one thing he was sure of was that she deserved a whole lot better. He'd always had a very soft spot for her, right from the days when she was a gobby little madam who'd tried his patience every way she could when he'd been doing everything he could to drag her into making the grade so she would be good enough to pass out, to get what she wanted and be a soldier.

"Right ... let's get some work done shall we?"

He picked up a work sheet and then looked at the way she was still standing so hesitantly in front of him, obviously unsure or unhappy about something.

"Come on then, what now?"

"Nothin' ... I'll get on"

Molly wanted to tell him all about it, to spill everything that had gone on, all about Lane and Elvis and Belize and Charles binning her, and then to tell him that she'd lied and that Charles wasn't pissed at her, that in fact he wanted her to forgive him and go back, but knew it would be a totally wrong thing to do. Especially as she knew only too well that he had a bit of a thing for her same as in her heart of hearts she knew she'd always had one for him. Well she had done until it had got eclipsed when she'd met Charles. Now she could remember hearing someone say once that the only way to get over one bloke was to get under another one, but didn't think she could bear to do that to either of them, not to Matt but not to Charles either, even though he might deserve it a bit. But Matt didn't, any more than he deserved to get with someone who still loved someone else, it wouldn't be fair to use him like that in an attempt to make herself feel better. And anyway, she was in his chain of command so he probably wouldn't, it was against all the rules, even if Charles had done it and got away with it didn't mean Matt and her should, although it was beginning to look like the bloody rules were somehow different for Captains.

"Are you going to tell me ... or am I going to tell you?" Matt shook his head slowly from side to side, and hoped that he wasn't about to make a monumental prize prick of himself as he went on "I'm guessing from the way he looked at me last night that he's asking you not to get rid but to go back to him and start again ... am I right?..." He didn't wait for her to answer just shook his head and carried on "Yeah thought so ... but just listen to me for one minute Molly ... there is no-one can tell you what you should do, especially not him, and not me either, much as I'd like to, just do whatever feels right and remember there'll always going to be other choices if it doesn't work out the way you want ..."

"Matt ... sorry I mean Staff ... I don't really understand what it is you're sayin' ..."

"Oh I think you do ... so just think on will you? ... and now shut up and piss off, we've work to do ... it won't do itself will it?"

-OG-

"Where we going?"

"Surprise ... unless you have somewhere in mind ... tell me if you have" He took a quick glance over at her "What changed your mind?"

"About what?"

"This ... calling me and ... agreeing to go out with me today"

"Dunno really ... said I'd think 'bout it didn't I? Never said I wouldn't ... can't think of anywhere I really wanna go, so .. you're alright, wherever" Molly relapsed into silence and tried to think of what to say next, she was buggered if she was going to tell him that she'd been looking forward to seeing him and anyway it was beginning to feel like it wasn't such a good idea, there were already signs that long horrible silences were looming "Are we 'aving a picnic ... or a proper lunch we can actually eat?"

"Oi, are you criticising my picnics?"

"Nah ... yeah ... well, they're usually not the best are they?"

"Once ... that was all, once and how was I supposed to know you had to cook them for such a long time ... they looked cooked ... and nobody died of food poisoning" They were both chuckling at the memory of the chicken drumsticks he'd prepared for a day out with Sam when she'd been on duty in the morning and they'd collected her at lunchtime, back when they were a family.

"That's because we didn't bloody eat them did we? ... we wasn't that stupid"

"Well there was that ... hey, that's nice .." He took a quick glance at her again "Seeing you laugh like that ... no, don't stop ... it seems a long time since I saw you look happy"

"That's because it is a long time mate ... and please don't start Charles, let's just have a nice day out ... the truth is I'm pretty bloody sick of it all"

"Yup, me too ... I find it hard to believe it's our anniversary in a couple of weeks ... and look what's happened to us"

"Well it hasn't exactly just sort of _happened_ has it? You make it sound like it's no-body's fault ... just bad luck or something, I mean ..."

"I know what you mean ... and I know it's my fault, all of it, believe me nobody knows that better than me, but ... you said the other evening that you were glad that someone is fond of you, well I'm more than fond of you, Molly, and I know you're going to say that I have a funny way of showing it and ...I really can't blame you, but I'll always love you ... I've never stopped loving you ... and I just wanted to tell you that, but I don't expect you to say anything ..." He pulled into the car park and stopped the car "Right, lovely, here we are then ..."

"What ... the White Horse? We're going for a bleeding route march up to the White Horse? Why?"

"Ummm... I couldn't think of anywhere .. and ... it's one of Sam's favourites"

"Yeah, but Sammie's not 'ere is he? Shit, you should of warned me, would have put me bloody thermals on ... still, least it's not raining ... " Molly shook her head then looked up at the sky and did her best not to laugh at the expression that was on his face "Not yet anyway ...and you're the one carrying the bloody picnic up there, not me"


	8. Chapter 8

_**Justice for Molly**_

 _ **Chapter 8 – Am I that easy to Forget?**_

Molly had always prided herself on being _fit,_ army fit not the other kind, she wasn't that deluded, but doing her best to keep up with daddy long legs and sweating so much it was dripping in her eyes while her hair was flying all over the shop and her calf muscles hurt like fuck was never going to make her top ten of fun things to do. It was too much like a bloody army exercise for a start and she was having a hard job believing he thought taking her for a nice day out meant climbing a sodding cliff face while they were walking through sheep shit.

"Bung me some wa'er please"

They'd stopped for a bit of a breather, long overdue as far as Molly was concerned even though she wasn't going to tell him that, she just flapped her hand vaguely in the direction of the cool bag that he'd put down after using his foot to clear away the pellets of shit that were absolutely bloody everywhere. She had to admit that the view was quite nice from up there, well alright it was well nice but all she could think about was how thirsty she was and how, from the look on his face when she asked him for a drink, it would seem that they hadn't actually got any water..

"Please tell me there's some in that bag"

"Shit ... shit, I knew I'd forgotten something ... water ... I can't believe it, I forgot the fucking water" He pulled open the bag and started to rummage through it as though a bottle might have magically materialised and jumped in all on its own when he wasn't looking and then looked across at her and bit his lip with a rueful expression on his face "Sorry ... I am really sorry Mol ...we've got wine if that's any help"

"Only if you wanna carry me back down that soddin' hill" She turned her back on the view and scanned the ground carefully before sitting down with a huge sigh of relief "So what 'ave we got then, apart from wine ... and no bloody wa'er?"

"We've got salad, I went to Marks and got some of that quiche you like and we've got apples... oh and some grapes"

"And you checked if you had to cook it?"

"Cook what? Oh fuck" He rummaged around in the bag again and pulled out a pack, then read the instructions with mounting dismay written all over his face as Molly struggled to stop the giggle that was bubbling up inside and hastily tried to disguise it into a cough "I'm not very good at this am I?"

"Nah ...not very ... ... 'ave we got any chocolate?"

"Of course we've got chocolate ...I wouldn't forget that and we've got tea"

"Well that's something ... we can go back down to that pub and get something to eat ... yeah?" She waved her arm gesturing towards the pub at the foot of the hill "And a drink of wa'er"

"Indeed ... and there's no need to rub it in ... I really am sorry ... I wanted it all to be perfect"

She wanted to tell him, it was actually on the tip of her tongue to remind him that she'd always said she didn't do perfect but knew that saying anything was just asking to start getting them involved in a conversation about things she really didn't want to talk about. Not today, they'd only end up talking round in circles again and then bloody Georgie would be the third party for the rest of their day out.

"Here ..." He squatted on his haunches in front of her and gave her a giant bar of Galaxy then took it back to break off a slab for her and passed it back with a travel mug of tea which Molly gulped down gratefully. She was horribly parched so it didn't matter much that all you could say about the tea was that it was wet and warm, and it didn't much matter either that it was more than a bit stewed and wasn't exactly what she'd call piping hot, but as soon as she stopped throwing it down her neck she noticed that he wasn't having anything to drink.

"Where's yours?"

"I could only find one mug ... I've got no idea where the other one has got to ... still, I thought at least I could make you some tea ... do you want an apple? Or some grapes?"

"Nah thanks ... but, you know, thanks for the tea..." Suddenly she could see how hard he was trying "'ere have some of this" Charles shuddered as he looked at the dregs of the dark brown brew and picked up an apple instead before sitting down next to her and putting one hand down to support himself while he stretched out his long legs and smiled at her. Molly thought guiltily of the travel mug that she'd liberated when she'd packed her bags and which was now sitting unused on a shelf in her room in barracks.

The first few spots of rain had him scrambling back to his feet and throwing his apple core away, then laughing at her when she tutted at him, telling her that the sheep would eat it, and then rushed to re-pack the rest of the chocolate and empty the dregs from the mug, before giving her his hand to haul her up to her feet. She immediately checked her bum for stray bits of sheep shit, brushing at her backside frantically with both hands over and over as she tried to make sure there wasn't any that she couldn't see and just for a minute he put a hand out towards her, tempted to do it for her but then rapidly changed his mind "Ready to go? Are you sure you don't want to go a bit further up the hill first?" The expression on her face made him put his head back and laugh "I'll take that as a no then shall I?"

"Charles ... in case you 'aven't noticed it's bleeding well raining now"

"It's only a shower ... look stopping already"

She didn't saying anything, although he was bloody right and it did seem to be easing off, smug know-all, but just grinned instead and turned to set off down the hill where the only major difficulty was trying not to break into a run because it might have proved a bit tricky to apply the brakes. In no time at all the sun was out again and they were a good way down towards the pub car park when she realised that he was holding her hand tightly in his. Her immediate reaction was to snatch it away as though it was somehow all wrong because she seemed to have forgotten how much she still hated him, well not hated him exactly, because the feel of his fingers curled round hers was melting just a tiny little bit more of the ice round her heart.

-OG-

To put it kindly the pub was a bit marginal, but it was dry and out of the wind and it's one real blessing was that it totally empty of customers so at least they probably wouldn't have to wait too long for food. The extensive choice was blazoned all over the boards outside and repeated on plastic menu cards on the bar but extensive turned out to be either a ploughman's or a jacket potato ... or several different jacket potatoes, and even the _today's special_ was some sort of very dubious looking chilli being served with a jacket potato, and to Molly's disappointment there wasn't anything on offer being served with chips.

"What do you want?"

Molly pretended to give the menu a lot of careful consideration and then sniggered "Don't know 'bout you but thought I'd 'ave a jacket pota'o" She looked down at the menu again and sniggered again "But not the one with dog food on it"

"Good choice" Suddenly he was looking at the menu and laughing with her as he ordered food and organised drinks "Come on then, where shall we sit?" He looked round the deserted bar and laughed again "Anywhere you particularly like the look of?"

"Where d'you think everyone's hiding theirselves?" Molly giggled "'ere, hope they don't know something about the food in this joint that we don't know"

"Honestly Mol, this is nothing like I had in mind for a lovely day out"

"Innit? Should bloody well think not... next time it'll definitely be me who picks where we're going"

There was a short silence as he looked at her steadily and chewed at the corner of his bottom lip then then sucked it into his mouth with his teeth as his eyebrows shot up and his face slowly broke into the oh so familiar full-on shit-eating grin that she hadn't seen for months "Next time? That sounds promising"

"Yeah well... don't get carried away ... just thought... you know .." She shrugged and looked away suddenly fiercely uncomfortable that she might have said too much and looked instead over at the barman who was signalling them to tell them their food was sitting on the bar all ready to collect. They'd been right about it being quick, it had taken no time at all, they'd hardly even had time to sit down "Service is good in 'ere 'n all innit ... looks like our lunch is ready but that you gotta go over there and get it ... seems he's a bit too busy"

They both looked over at the barman who was standing idly polishing a glass while staring into space and apparently day dreaming and the fact that they were the only other people in the place while ignoring the two plates of food "Doesn't bother me, knowing there's going to be a next time is all I care about"

-OG-

"Your mum and dad alright?" Molly was scraping the last of the potato off the leather-like skin of a jacket potato that had definitely recently seen the inside of a microwave oven "It's her birthday soon innit? .. your mum ... is your dad having one of his parties for her?"

"Yup .. next week"

She knew from the way he said it and the way he avoided meeting her eyes that he still hadn't said anything to them about what had happened and that it was odds on that he really didn't want to talk about it. He'd always been really good at not talking about things when he didn't want to, but it seemed pretty obvious to her that his mum and dad had been told absolutely bugger-all about what he and Georgie had got up to, although she was also pretty sure that they'd know her from her being with Elvis. Elvis had always said that Charles' parents were his second mum and dad and that their house was his home from home. Either that or he had told them but didn't want to talk about it in case she expected an invite and he was taking bloody Georgie with him, although even as the thought popped in her head she knew it was absolute bollocks and that she was just winding herself up. Again.

"For fuck sake Charles, you telling me you 'aven't you told 'em yet?" He shook his head slowly from side to side and avoided her eyes by looking down at his plate "Where do they think I've been hiding? You aven't told them I've been away on tour somewhere where there's no phone signal or something 'ave you? ... cos your mum must think there's something wrong with me, I always phone her when I'm away .." Even as she said it she remembered that it was a lie, that she hadn't called the last two times she'd been away on tour but that was because she'd been in absolute bits and talking to his mum would have set her off big time "I always wanna make sure she's okay ... she must think I'm being well shitty with her"

"You could still phone her... I know she'd love to hear from you, she thinks the bloody world of you Molly"

"And say what exactly? Or are you hoping I'll tell her for you?"

"No of course not ... have you told your family?"

"Yeah ... me Nan is planning on doing bloody awful things to you if she ever claps eyes on you again, she's gonna make your bollocks into earrings ... that sort of thing, and you better hope you never have to sleep anywhere near her else you'll wake up with vital bits missing" Molly giggled at the expression on his face "And I know she's put a contract out on you ... although I'm not sure she really knows any gangsters ... she might I s'pose ... but I dunno what she's most pissed at, you doing the dirty on me or that it wasn't her you went off with, that you never even asked ..."

"What?"

"You should see your face ..." Molly sniggered "Nah course I 'aven't bloody told them, what do you take me for? Told 'em we'd split, had to do that cos of the next of kin thing, you know, death letter 'n that, but didn't tell 'em anything else ... do you think I wanna 'ear me dad keep saying ' _told you so'_ and me mum saying she was sure you'd forgive me if I said sorry ... cos it would 'ave to 'ave been my fault, right? ... and then Bella saying ... you know, _stuff_ about you ... don't think so"

"You changed your next of kin?" His voice was appalled.

"Yeah ... course ... 'aven't you?"

There was an equally appalled look on his face as if the whole thing had suddenly acquired a horrible reality and Molly swallowed the words she'd been about to throw at him. Her first instinct had been to snipe and say she'd have thought he'd have wanted Georgie to be the first person to know if something happened to him, not that she believed it, but the temptation to punish him with her words was still there.

"No of course not ... you're my wife ... that hasn't changed"

"That's not true though is it? Of course it's changed, everything's changed, I was, I mean I used to be your wife ... but not anymore, you pissed off with someone else ..."

Molly carefully put her knife and fork down together and then screwed her paper napkin into a ball and put it carefully in the middle of the plate, she was suddenly unwilling to even look at him. The mood between them had changed in a split second so that she wanted desperately to find something else to talk about, to change the subject before she got all upset and angry again.

"Just going to the loo ..."

"Molly ..."

"Won't be long ..."

She looked at herself in the mirror, at the way her face was dripping with the cold water she'd splashed on it and at the wild birds nest the wind had made of her hair and tried to smooth it down with damp hands that were shaking as she tried to knot it in a messy bun which wasn't going to last five minutes. What worried her most was that hard as she tried to put it behind her all the hurt and anger with him was still there bubbling under the surface just as bad as ever so that when something happened like just now she forgot all that stuff that Margot had said about it not being real 'n that, and still wanted to rage at him, to yell and scream and hit him and forgot all about trying to, well _forget_ about any of it. And what scared her most was the thought that maybe it would always be like that. That she was kidding herself she could get over it, because it didn't matter how much she still loved him, he'd said to Margot that when he'd done what he'd done it was because he'd forgotten what it was they'd once had. The trouble was, she hadn't.

He was leaning against the wall outside the Ladies waiting for her with an anxious expression on his face and was worrying at his bottom lip with his teeth, but then stood up straight and forced a smile the minute she re-appeared.

"You alright, ready to go?"

"Yeah course, why wouldn't I be?"

"I thought you looked a bit ... " He gave himself a small mental kick and told himself to shut the fuck up, then smiled a more genuine smile "Never mind, where to now?" He nudged her with his shoulder "What do you say to us going to find the river although the way this day's going it'll probably turn out to be more of a fucking muddy puddle"

"I like muddy puddles"

"Lovely ... now stop trying to be nice ... I'm sorry if I upset you again in there ... it was the last thing I wanted to do"

"Is that a bit like me being the last thing you wanted to see?" Molly gulped and tried not to look at him "Sorry, probably shouldn't have said that, it's just ... "

He stopped walking and put his hands on her shoulders to turn her round to look at him, but her head was bowed so she was looking at their feet, she had no intention of getting involved in a discussion about the things he'd said that he hadn't meant. As she also had no intention of letting him see that she was already struggling not to cry.

"I have no idea why I ... why itfucked with my head ... all I know for sure is that it was like I was in a fog and then when it started to clear I found I'd lost everything that mattered to me ... _everything .._ andI meant it when I told you that you were the last thing I wanted to see ... I meant every word, I've never meant anything more in my life ..."

"Yeah ... well ..."

"I don't blame you for thinking I'm a lying shit, I would in your shoes"

"Is she, you know, Margot, 'elping at all? ... Talking to her 'n that"

"Indeed ... or so she tells me ... not sure I can see it myself"

"You'll be okay"

"Will I? ... you know Molly, I listened to everything you said the other day and I didn't even recognise myself ... I can't believe that it was me you were talking about ... that I could do that to you ..."

"I couldn't believe it either ... kept telling meself it had to be some sort of mistake, that you wouldn't do it to me ... but you did, and I had to learn to live with that ... and now you've got to 'n all"

"I know ... just as I know that every word you said was the truth, but it just doesn't make any sense" He snorted a mirthless laugh down his nose "I'm really looking forward to hearing Margot try to make me believe that none of _that_ was my fault ... she might have her work cut out with that one"

"Come on, let's go and find this muddy puddle of yours ... but it better not be a 5k trek ..."

"More like 10"

"Fuck off then, I'll wait here"

-OG-

 _ **A/N: Thank you for your lovely feedback on the previous chapter and for all the encouragement to keep going with this and hope that you've enjoyed this chapter ... chapter 9 will be ready in a few days and will see an explosive birthday party in Bath ...**_


	9. Chapter 9

_**Justice For Molly**_

 _ **Chapter 9 – It Must Have Been Love**_

Even from a distance he could see she was much happier these days, laughing and waving her arms around as though she hadn't got a care in the world as she chatted with one of the new CMTs, a nice enough girl but one who reminded him very strongly of a young Molly herself when she'd been convinced he'd come down with the last shower of rain. But Matt was afraid a major part of her good mood had to do with the arrogant bastard she was married to, he knew they'd spent time together recently so was afraid she was about to forgive the lanky git who'd walked all over her life just a few short months earlier. And worst of all there was fuck all he could do about it. He couldn't even say anything because there was a good chance she would tell him to fuck off, that it was none of his business, and of course she'd be right. He'd missed the opportunity to make it his business, he'd gambled on playing the waiting game and had lost and there was nothing he could do about it now. Not that she'd said anything, and it wasn't that he didn't want her to be happy, he did, he was just convinced that happiness didn't lie with someone who'd treated her like shit the way he had.

It was still a novelty to Molly to have people treat her like someone who had all the bloody answers when she didn't even know what half the questions were, but this latest bunch were all behaving as though she was someone special, which she knew was down to Staff Geddings bigging her up. She was going to have to ask him to tone it down a bit, it was well embarrassing. The girl reminded her of Smurf and his hero worship, the way he used to puff up with pride whenever he was singled out as the dogs bollocks which happened a lot before he'd started behaving like a muppet, but to this day no-one knew how much of that had been down to the slow bleed on his brain. Molly still felt huge pangs of guilt whenever she thought about him, which was a lot recently, she hadn't had the slightest suspicion there was something really wrong but as a medic she really should have known.

"Dawes..."

"Staff ..." Molly stood to attention and resisted the urge to look at her watch and check the time and instead mentally crossed her fingers that this, whatever it was, wasn't going to take too long. Despite their fairly informal relationship, he was still her boss so she had no choice but to stand there and wait for him to say whatever it was he wanted, even though she was in a bit of a hurry to get off.

"Everything alright with ...?" He jerked his head to indicate the girl's back view as she walked away from them "No problems that you're aware of, apart for her being a bolshie little madam of course?"

"Nah don't think so ... she's alright ... reminds me a bit of me actually"

"Oh yes, doesn't she just? You might need to mark her card for her before very much longer Molly"

"ME?"

"Who better?"

The obvious answer would have been just about anyone but Molly didn't want to stand there and debate it with him for any longer than she had to, she only had a little bit of time before Charles was picking her up to go to his mum's party and she needed at least two hours to get herself ready. She would have liked about a week but an hour and a bit was going to have to do, and all she was praying was that there was a bathroom free because it was the Friday night rush hour for people getting ready to go out on the pull.

They'd found his muddy puddle the previous Sunday and had walked by it for a bit, but the mood of the day had been totally ruined by then so that both of them were concentrating so hard on not saying stuff that would upset the other one or saying something that might lead to a row that in the end they walked mainly in silence until it had started to spit with rain again out of a leaden sky and they'd turned and gone back to the car.

"Are you going to come home with me? Help me eat salad and drink wine? ..." He'd smirked and waggled his eyebrows then pulled his puppy dog pleading face, the one she'd always been a sucker for in the past "We've still got chocolate"

"Nah ... sorry ... got plans tonight"

Even as she spouted the lie she was sorry she'd said it. She knew exactly what he'd think and although a bit of her was thinking _serves him right_ , there was an even bigger bit that wanted to tell him that she'd just lied through her teeth and had nothing planned but a night in lying on her bed feeling lonely and a bit sorry for herself and probably listening to someone else's drunken bash. But it was far too late to back-track on it now, not without making a complete idiot of herself.

"Right ... I see"

"Tell you what ... I could maybe ... if you want ... come to your mum's for her birthday ... well, only if you like ... I mean I will understand if it's too awkward ... nah, look don't matter ..."

The minute she heard the words leave her mouth she'd begun to regret them and to wish she could take them back so had hastily started to back-track, shit what was she doing inviting herself like that, and what the fuck was the point of trying to make sure she wouldn't get hurt all over again if she was just going to cave the minute he looked a bit upset? And she would shrivel up and die if he said he didn't want her there.

"Of course I'd love you to come with me ... nothing I'd like more"

He was trying very hard not to ask her what her plans were for that evening, where she was going, or more to the point who with, although he thought he might have a pretty fair idea of who that probably was, but he also wanted to grab her and hug her and tell her over and over that he couldn't think of anything he wanted more than to take her to Bath with him.

"I will tell them before then Mol, I won't let it come as a surprise that we're not sharing a room anymore, I mean I won't let it be awkward"

"Well maybe it would be best to wait till after your mum's birthday ... we don't have to tell them we're not sharing ... place is big enough innit? We can make an excuse ... just a thought" She shrugged and wondered what the fuck she was doing "I mean we don't wanna cause upset ... and it might be a bit awkward if they don't want me there once they know we're not together ... I mean I'm not really family am I? ... you know what, it's a crap idea and maybe I just shouldn't go at all"

"Of course it's not a crap idea and of course you're family, what are you talking about? ... I really want you to come with me and I know they'll be really happy to see you ... it's me that'll be feeling their boots up his arse"

"Your mum'll be fine, she loves you ... and your dad 'n all"

"They might not be quite as keen once they find out what a prick I've been"

"Well if you put it like that your mum will definitely put a boot up your arse ... you know she don't like you swearing ... anyway who says you 'ave to tell 'em ... about ... everything?"

-OG-

Charles had his eyes fixed on the doorway with a large hand-tied bouquet of flowers for his mother in one hand and a ridiculous level of nervous anticipation in the pit of his stomach that he hadn't felt for years, not since the days he and Elvis had double-dated and his date had been Rebecca. But he'd been 21 then and full of raging hormones and ecstatic disbelief that this beautiful cool and very sought after blonde girl with legs that went all the way up to her arse had agreed to go out for a drink with him. All that was a bloody long time ago now of course, and by the time he'd realised what a mistake Rebecca was it was too late and they were destined to walk up the aisle with Sammie on the way. It had been totally different with Molly, he'd fallen completely in love with her and had been full of happy excitement the first time he'd taken her out and had been happy beyond words the day she'd married him, but even though he was older and should be wiser, he'd fucked that up as comprehensively as he'd fucked things up with Rebecca. The difference now was that he would give anything to get her to give them another chance, whereas he'd felt overwhelming relief when he and Rebecca had finally called it a day.

"Sir"

He hadn't noticed bloody Geddings until he'd materialised out of nowhere and stood to attention right in front of him, giving him a look that Charles associated with squaddies since everything had started going to shit, a barely disguised dumb insolence that paid lip service to respect for his rank. The man had his eyebrows raised as he focussed his gaze on the flowers in Charles' hand.

"Staff"

Charles put as much icy disdain into his voice as he could, it wouldn't have mattered how much Molly said it was bollocks, he knew in his heart that the other man resented him because he had a thing for her. The only thing he wasn't certain about was whether it was even the slightest bit reciprocal, she hadn't said and he was actually afraid to ask, he wasn't sure he wanted to hear the answer.

"Something I can do for you Staff?" Charles badly wanted to tell him to fuck off and knew his voice reflected the way he felt but that was the closest he could get without actually saying the words, for some reason he really wanted him gone before she got there "Oh here she is ... just waiting for _my_ wife"

She was wearing the short black dress that he'd always loved on her, and as usual it was clinging to every curve and reminding him of just how beautiful she was with her long hair shining in the early evening sunshine. She had a slightly anxious expression on her face as she looked round and then this huge happy grin broke out when she saw him which made him forget all about Geddings who was also watching her walk their way, before he turned to walk away saying "fucking flowers don't mean much" in a voice that was just loud enough for Charles to hear.

"You shouldn't 'ave"

"Shouldn't have what?"

"The flowers"

"Oh no, sorry ... I didn't, these are for Mum, I just wanted you to take a look at them in case they're crap and I need to go and buy more ..." He leaned forward and kissed her on the cheek "You look beautiful"

"What? You sayin' they're not for me? Turn up with flowers and then tell me they're for someone else? I dunno, just when I thought we was in a fucking tampax advert"

As she said it she remembered having an almost identical conversation with Smurf in the middle of Newport Station and wished with all her heart that he was still around. He'd been on her mind a lot recently and for all his bollocks he'd been a good friend and good friends were pretty thin on the ground for her at the moment. It was her own fault, she knew that, but still ...

"Oh fuck ... I really didn't think ... here" Charles thrust the bouquet towards her thinking that if only it was that easy and that a bunch of flowers could atone for all his sins "I'm sorry, we'll get some more for Mum"

"Where from? Motorway Service Station flowers is all you'll get at this time? Lovely ... she'll love them ... anyhow don't want someone else's flowers"

She giggled to show she was only teasing and wasn't really pissed at him, something she would never have had to do before when he'd have known what she meant and would have given as good as he got.

"They're not someone else's, well yes perhaps they are ... next time ... I promise"

"Gonna be a next time then?"

"What do you think?"

-OG-

No. 26 was lit up like the Blackpool illuminations, it seemed as if every light in the house was on as they walked up to a front door that was standing wide open and Charles murmured that they were obviously holding an open day for every sneak thief in Bath to come on in and help themselves. She stopped and looked up at him with eyes as exaggeratedly wide as she could get and smirked.

"You serious? They 'ave _thieves_ in Bath? Nah, never, not in _Bath_ "

"I know, hard to believe isn't it?" He laughed "And stop taking the piss, you"

He was still laughing as they made their way past the babble of voices and laughter that was coming from the drawing room and headed towards the kitchen at the back of the house where they knew his mum would have tucked herself away as she always did at parties. Molly braced herself for the welcome she wasn't entirely sure she was going to get, whatever he said it had been months since she'd last seen any of them or had even spoken to them, well all except for Sam, so was sure they must have wondered what the fuck was going on.

"MOLLY"

The first person to see her was the whirlwind that was Sam as he tore across the tiled floor and flung himself at her almost winding her when his bullet hard head rammed into her midriff in his usual ecstatic delight at the sight of her coming through the door with his dad.

"SAMMIE"

She swung him off his feet which was exactly what he'd been expecting and then groaned that he was getting too big and heavy for her, following their usual ritual as he giggled happily and shouted that he wasn't and then shouted at his grandmother that it was Molly, as if she was deaf and having a problem recognising who had just come in her house.

"No-one told me you were coming" Sam was still talking in an excited high pitched squeal at a volume that was as close to yelling as made no difference.

"Say hello to Daddy Sam and then take him in the drawing room to find Grandpop and the others while I say hello to Molly ... and Sammie sweetheart, stop shouting now there's a good boy"

Meg James kissed Charles on the cheek and hugged them both before saying how lovely it was to see them adding that she hated birthdays before thanking them delightedly for the flowers, saying they were beautiful and for the beautifully wrapped parcel that neither of them had had anything to do with wrapping and Molly realised she didn't even know what was in it. She really should have asked Charles before they got there.

Sam dragged his father out of the kitchen by the hand as Charles shot her an apologetic backwards glance over his shoulder, he knew Molly wasn't going to be terribly happy about being left alone with his mother to face an interrogation without him being there to at least field some of what might be awkward questions.

"Come here and let me look at you and you can tell me all about how you've been and what you've been up to ... it's been ages ...Charles tells me that you've got a new job"

Meg was busy pouring a large glass of wine for Molly and then topped up her own and took a swig large enough to have a small amount dribble down the side of her chin so that she wiped it with her hand muttering "painkiller" as Molly giggled.

"I'm fine ... and the job is great thanks ... 'ow are you? and you know you love 'em all really" She smiled at her mother-in-law, she was genuinely pleased to see her even if she didn't know quite what to tell her "Who's 'ere?"

"Usual crowd ... every year I tell the old fool that I don't want a party and every year he ignores me, thinks I'm just being a martyr or something, but at least he told me what he was up to this time so I could stop pretending it was a surprise and do a bit of organising" She laughed ruefully "Never mind all that, now tell me what's been going on with you... and what's all this nonsense Rebecca's been telling me?"

"Umm ... oh ... that " This was exactly what she'd been afraid of when he'd allowed Sam to drag him off to the noisy party in the drawing room leaving her behind with his mum, she had no idea what to say "Think you'd better ask Charles really"

"I'm going to ... but I'm asking you ... that son of mine is remarkably good at keeping things close to his chest when he wants to" Fuck, she was going to kill him "I want to know what's been happening with you two"

"I really think you've gotta ask 'im ... cos ... well, you know, things 'ave been a bit tricky, well messed up what with him 'aving this PTSD thing after what happened with Elvis, but he's getting 'elp now"

"Molly, I know all that, but why have you moved out of the house?" Meg shook her head in disbelief "And don't bother to deny it, Sam told me you weren't living there anymore ... and I don't believe you would leave home because he was having some ... _problems_ at work ... not you"

"Sorry, don't wanna be difficult ... but you really 'ave gotta ask him"

"Wait right there, I'll be back in two ticks"

Molly poured herself another very large glass of wine, which she drank very quickly as soon as Meg disappeared with a platter of little sausages in one hand and a plate full of tiny bits of pizza in the other and hoped that Meg wasn't going to go marching up to him to demand answers. She had an awful sinking feeling that this was all about to go horribly wrong and that it had been a huge mistake on her part to come here, it wasn't even as if she could just leave and go home, she was in Bath for fuck sake.

-OG-

"I thought we weren't going to say anything to mum on her birthday, didn't we agree we were going to wait out and let her enjoy it?"

His voice was low and full of barely controlled anger as he carefully shut the kitchen door behind him and then stood in front of it with his legs apart and his arms crossed over his chest, his hands tucked under his armpits in his _don't piss with me_ Captain stance that she'd seen a million times before when he was angry with someone or something.

"Don't 'ave a go at me, what 'ave I done?" She was suddenly bubbling over with white hot anger, she wasn't the one who'd shit all over their marriage, that had been him and she wasn't the one who hadn't told his mum and dad what he'd done, that had been him as well, and she wasn't the one who'd gone off to join in the party and left her to answer awkward bloody questions and most of all she wasn't the one told his mum she'd left him "And don't blame me, I 'aven't said anything ... If you wanna blame anyone blame bloody big mouth Rebecca ... and none of this is my fault Charles, so don't start being all shitty with me because you feel guil'y"

"I don't feel guilty"

"Nah, s'pose _you_ wouldn't"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I think you know what it means, it wasn't me fucked off with someone else, was it? And it's not me thinks everyone should just forget all about it now, that's you" Molly took her phone out of her bag "Think I'd better be going"

"What are you going to do Molly, going to call _Matt_ are you? Get him to come and pick you up?"

"So what if I am? It's none of your business is it? But nah as it happens, I'm not, I'm gonna call a taxi, and you know all that stuff about me and Matt is all in your bloody head don't you? .. and this ..."She waved a hand at him "Is not about me and it's certainly not about me and Matt because there isn't a me and Matt, and it's not about me and anyone else either, this is about you fucking Georgie ..."

"Say it a bit louder, I don't think they heard you at the top of the street"

"I'll go outside and yell it if you like"

At some point he'd moved away from the door and was now standing with his hands on the table and was leaning forward to shout at her as she stood up to yell back at him, there was no way she was going to let him loom over her like that.

"I keep telling you you've got it all wrong"

"And I keep telling you I DON'T FUCKING BELIEVE YOU"

"What is going on in here? Charles? Molly?" They'd been so busy shouting at each other that neither of them had even noticed Meg had come back in the room until she closed the door again and spoke "Everyone will hear you ... and Sammie is in there remember" She looked from one to the other "What is going on?"

"Come here" Charles ignored his mother and grabbed Molly's hand and tried to pull her towards the back door with the obvious intention of going outside into the dark garden.

"Nah ... get off me" Molly was desperately trying to tug her hand free as she dug her heels in "Let go of me, I've told you, I'm gonna call a taxi" She looked at Meg "Sorry, this isn't about you ... but think I'm gonna get off"

"Don't be stupid ... you're not going anywhere"

"Molly darling, whatever's wrong?"

"Ask 'im ... and while you're at it, ask 'im about Georgie"

"Georgie? Elvis' Georgie? ...what on earth has any of this got to do with Georgie?... Charles?" Meg was still looking from one to the other with consternation written all over her. She hadn't meant to cause an argument, she'd only mentioned to him in passing that Molly had told her to ask him what had been going on, and she really hadn't believed what Rebecca had told her, well she'd thought there was probably a tiny grain of truth in there somewhere and Sam had confirmed it, but that it had as usual with Rebecca been somehow blown out of all proportion. She'd thought that the two of them coming to the party together meant everything was almost back to normal "Come on what's that poor girl got to do with any of this?"

"I said ... ask 'im"

"Sorry Mum"

He had Molly's wrist in a vice-like grip as he pulled her out into the dark chill of the garden and then stopped suddenly and turned round and wrapped his arms round her and held her tightly against him until her arms snaked round his waist and she was holding him equally tightly. He bent his head and kissed her. It wasn't a soft and gently loving kiss, it was a hard clash of lips and teeth and was full of bottled up feelings of rage and loss and was about punishing one another as they kissed until they were breathless and broke apart panting. It was too dark for her to see him clearly as she looked up at his face and tried to get her breath back, but when she began trying to move away from him he tightened his hold and bent his head again until his lips were a tiny fraction away from hers and she could feel his warm breath on her mouth as he spoke softly against her lips.

"You know I love you don't you?"

"Yeah I know ... but I'm trying not to love you"

"I know"

He closed the gap between them and gently touched her lips with his before running his tongue over her bottom lip until her lips parted and he began to kiss her with an insistent pressure as her arms tightened round the back of his neck and the kiss slowly became deeper. He ran his hand down to the small of her back and pulled her even closer to him as he buried the other one in her hair and held her head steady as he kissed her and she found herself clutching at his neck and weaving her fingers in his hair to stop him moving away.

-OG-

 _ **A/N: Thank you for the wonderful feedback and the kind reviews for Chapter 8 ... we hope that you enjoy this ... it's your support that's keeping us going ... Chapter 10 will be up in a couple of days and will be called 'After That Kiss'**_


	10. Chapter 10

_**Justice For Molly**_

 _ **Chapter 10 – I Want You Back Again**_

It was very dark but as her eyes slowly got accustomed to the gloom even in that light she could see that his pupils were enormous as he stared down at her, the eyes that were normally the colour of melted chocolate were almost black the way she'd seen them look a thousand times in the past when he'd been holding her like he was at that moment, holding close enough for them to be lost in each other exactly as they were now. His voice was soft as his lips lingered on the spot in her neck where he could feel her pulse jumping, there was a depth to her green eyes that reminded him of who she was and why he missed her so much.

"I am so tired Mol ... I'm fucking exhausted with this whole shit-storm, there's not a day when I don't wish I could turn the clock back ... or that I could go to bed and sleep and then wake up with everything back the way it was ... this is all such a fucking mess"

"I should never have lied to you, shouldn't have told you I wanted out when it was a lie, I thought I was doing it to protect you, but I wasn't, I was trying to protect me and look how well that worked out?"

She wanted to tell him that it was all going to be okay, that everything was going to sort itself out for him, but she couldn't. It would be a lie because she wasn't sure she could forgive him, in theory it was simple but she was still shit scared she'd never be able to look at him again without seeing _them_ together, and if she couldn't forgive him then it didn't matter whether she still loved him or not.

"Ii wasn't you it was me..." He smiled and lifted his eyebrows briefly at the cliché he'd used "It's hard now to believe that I lost sight completely of what was important and that everything just went to shit the way it did ... and that I felt ... so bloody isolated from everything... from you ... but I miss you so much"

"I know ... but ..."

"Do you? I'm not sure that you do"

"What, you think I don't miss you? Course I do, every bloody day but everything's different innit? I never wanted it to change, Charles, but it did, things changed and I couldn't do anything to stop them ... and don't start about me and Matt again, just don't ... you know its not true ... nothing's ever happened with me and him and nothing ever would"

"Does he know that?"

"Subject's never come up 'as it? ... He's me boss and I've known him forever, and he's been kind to me when I've needed someone to be kind ... but that's all ..." Molly shrugged and shook her head but even as she said it she wondered if it was as true for Matt as it was for her, and then tried to step away from him a bit as Charles tightened his arms in an attempt to draw her even closer and to stop her going anywhere "I've dropped me bloody phone somewhere, probably busted it, I need to find it before I tread on it ... and I really should go in you know, I 'aven't even said hello to your dad yet and one of us needs to make sure your mum's okay"

"Not yet ... stay here a bit longer"

"I can't, I really think I'd better go in don't you?"

Right at that moment all she wanted to do was to say they could draw a line under it all, that she loved him and it could all be forgiven and most of all forgotten because she wanted to stay exactly where she was and it was all very well telling herself what was sensible and that she could do it, in her heart she wanted to stay in the past where things were simple. She wanted to stay holding him and kissing him and feeling his body against hers, she wanted to feel the muscles in his chest and his arms round her holding her tight and his fingers touching her and she wanted to forget all her doubts about whether he was telling her the truth about everything, she just wanted to carry on feeling how much he wanted her and how much in spite of everything she wanted him.

But that was sex. And what she missed most wasn't sex, although she did miss the feeling of being close, she missed the certainty of knowing there was always someone she could trust, someone who would put his arms round her when she felt shit and who she could rely on not to shut her out or turn away from her when things went a bit shit for him. Someone she could trust not to break her heart into a million bits, and she was horribly afraid that person was never going be him again.

"I'll follow you in a bit" He reluctantly let go of her when she moved her arms from round his neck and then stepped back and pulled a rueful face at the tent at the front of his jeans "Might just have to wait out for a few minutes though and then I'll find your phone and bring it in"

-OG-

"Hello Pops"

"Well well well, it's my favourite daughter-in-law, how are you my darling? Come here and give me a kiss"

"I'm your only daughter-in-law you silver-tongued whatsits you, but I'm good thanks, 'ow are you?"

Molly hugged him hard, she'd forgotten exactly how much she adored him, and how when she'd first known him she'd had this secret fantasy that he would rub off on Dave, which was a complete non-starter of course, they were chalk and cheese and anyway whenever they were forced to be in the same place at the same time they avoided one another like the plague.

"I think I'm fine, I was last time I checked and no you're not the only one, you've forgotten the bossy blonde piece, she's still my daughter-in-law, or so she tells me, god help me" He grimaced and pulled his favourite long-suffering and deeply put-upon face "She'll have me in a home before long, you wait and see ... I'm sure she's got ambitions to get her little hands on this place ... ah here she comes, the birthday girl, she's another one going to end up in a home with me ... and now she's going to steal you away in case you decide to run off with me"

"Bill ... shut up ... and yes, I am borrowing Molly for a few minutes ... a bit of girl talk"

Meg had the kind of smile pasted on her face that Molly knew frightened committees into doing what she wanted as she pushed past groups of people and smiled and nodded at them but without stopping to talk to anyone as she determinedly shepherded Molly out of the room in front of her for all the world as if she was Sam's age and needed someone to prod her to keep her moving in the right direction.

"Tea ... or are you going to join me in another very large dose of painkiller?"

"Um ... I'll 'ave the painkiller please but just a little one or I'm gonna be ratted"

Meg sat down heavily at the kitchen table and gestured at Molly to follow suit then shook her head at her slowly from side to side despairingly as Molly picked up her phone that was sitting there and turned it over in her hand, looking to see if it was broken but it looked surprisingly undamaged to her.

"I'm not going to ask you to tell me about any of it Molly, Charles has just told me a bit about what's been going on ... whether it's the whole story or not I don't know but I'm not going to ask him, I think he's probably got enough people yelling at him as it is ... but why on earth didn't you come and talk to me? I can't believe you were all on your own with this, he told me you didn't even tell your Nan or your own mum ... "

"Nah ... well I thought ... honestly dunno what I thought really ... didn't believe it to start with, did I?" She gulped a large mouthful of wine and shrugged and wondered just how much he had told Meg but unwilling to ask her.

"I'm trying my best to understand it ... what he was thinking but ... I thought he had more sense ... and as for her..." She shook her head "But don't worry I'm not going to talk about her ... Charles tells me that you know how sorry he is and how much he wishes ... well, he's right about one thing he can't turn the clock back ... but he says he's told you how much he misses you and how much he wants you to come home but that you ... well ... understandably that you're trying to get on with your life without him" Meg topped up her glass again but Molly had the feeling it was more to do with having something to do with her hands than any desire for more wine "Listen darling you can tell me to mind my own business if you like, but is that really what you want?"

"Yeah ... nah ... I dunno Meg, I do love him, I don't think I've ever really stopped, you can't just turn it off like a bleeding tap, can you? But I'm scared it's gonna be too hard trying to make meself forget all about ... her ... and what they did when I was at home worrying myself silly about him"

"Then don't ... it's completely unreasonable for anyone to expect you to just shrug it off, what he did, what they did, hurt you very badly ... I've just listened to him telling me that he wasn't thinking straight or something, so it's whether or not you can forgive him ... I'm not suggesting you will forget all about it anytime soon, although maybe in time" Meg took a deep swallow of wine "I really shouldn't be saying anything or trying to interfere like this because I can only begin to imagine how hard it's all been for you, how much he hurt you" She put her hand across the table and patted Molly's arm "But at the risk of sounding drunk and a bit maudlin, which I'm not, or perhaps I am just a little bit, just remember that life is very short ..." She leaned over and patted her arm again "I know when we're your age we think we have all the time in the world ...but...then ... well, I know Elvis did, but then look what happened to him ..."

"And Smurf ... I've been thinking about him a lot last few weeks"

"Who?" Meg raised her eyebrows "Oh yes of course he was that friend of yours who died when we first knew you ... poor lad ... he was one of Charles' wasn't he? But ... what I'm trying to say is just imagine living the rest of your life without Charles being in it ... and then think whether that's really what you want ...?" She stood up "Have you thought it might be good to talk it through with someone who's not involved?"

"We done that, didn't he tell you? She's his counsellor actually ... but I dunno it just made me feel even more like I was some sort of a bloody numpty ... hearing meself telling someone all that shit made me realise what an idiot I'd been to put up with it all ... made it even worse somehow and she made me feel a bit like it was me own fault ..."

"Of course it wasn't your fault, what was she thinking of? Nonsense ... now food, you haven't had anything to eat and everything always looks better when you've stuffed your face with party food ... especially when there's not a lettuce leaf anywhere in sight"

-OG-

It was getting late when Meg finally managed to persuade the whining and over-tired nightmare that was Sam to go up to bed but only after he'd got his own way and Molly had gone up with him, and had promised faithfully crossing her fingers and hoping to die that she would still be there when he got up in the morning. She told him that she would play some game with him, telling him she wouldn't miss it and that it was one of her favourites, which it wasn't because she'd never even heard of it, but he was being a complete pain in the bum and she wanted to help Meg get him settled. Then when she was finally allowed to go back down she'd been on the point of marching up to Charles and telling him to get his arse upstairs and sort the little bugger out for his mum, before she realised that it was yet another thing that was really none of her bloody business anymore. And it was another horrible moment when she realised it was none of her fucking business either that his dad was worrying about how Rebecca was trying to put him in a home or doing something or other to try and get her hands on the house, although Molly had no idea whether any of that was even true, but even so, it was hard to think she couldn't even say anything, let alone do anything. It didn't matter how much she loved them, if her split from Charles became permanent, his family wouldn't be her family anymore and it didn't matter how much people said about it not making any difference and about keeping in touch and all the rest of it, it never really happened like that.

They spent the rest of the evening circulating separately between all the groups of friends and neighbours and family and Meg's fellow committee members nearly all of whom were getting quietly plastered, although Molly was doing her best to carefully avoid the family in case they _knew_ so spent all her time talking and laughing and drinking with the others instead. She was trying her best to look as though she was enjoying chatting and hearing titbits of local news and scandal and when she couldn't avoid it, stuff about the family, but the whole time she actually felt as if she was putting on an act. All she was really aware of was him, of where he was standing and who he was talking to and whether he was laughing or not and who with, it was if he was some sort of magnet for her eyes. And hard as she kept trying not to look at him, not even to look in his direction, she kept finding herself letting her eyes wander over to where he was and every time she did he seemed to be looking at her. It was as if there was this invisible string between them, a string that was tugging them towards each other and one that was making it incredibly hard to look away again.

Eventually people began to drift off until it was just them and Meg was busy going round the room picking up stray glasses and plates and tutting at the rings on the furniture and at the wine stain on the rug while Bill was throwing the windows wide open and complaining that the room needed airing because it stank of _people_ which made Molly giggle considering he was the one who'd invited them all there. Meg was going round behind him closing them again and telling him to stop exaggerating and that there were times when she thought he was the most anti-social person she'd ever come across in her entire life and that of course her friends didn't _stink._ Even though Molly was more tired than she could ever remember, she kept trying to help Meg who kept shooing her away and telling her to leave it, that she had to be tired because she'd been at work all day and it wouldn't take her a minute once she got going. It had been a very long day and an even longer evening because most of it had been spent trying to pretend she was having a good time while ignoring him, or trying to.

He'd carried a load of stuff into the kitchen and was standing leaning his back against the sink and staring into space while he twirled an empty glass in his hand and seemed miles away in spite of all the hustle and bustle of his mum going backwards and forwards and bickering loudly with his dad as they put piles of plates and glasses on the draining board and on the table ready to load the dishwasher. The noise of the people around him who'd all been drinking for hours on end so that their voices had got louder and louder and they'd been laughing uproariously at nothing very much had seemed to him to be never-ending when all he'd wanted to do was talk to Molly. On their own, not with an audience but the way they'd been talking earlier in the garden when he'd held her close and kissed her. For the first time since he'd come back into her life Molly looked at him and saw that he actually did look dog tired, and rough, or maybe it was that she noticed it tonight because of what he'd said to her earlier.

"You alright ... you look a bit tired"

He'd turned his head to look down at her and then smiled when she went to stand next to him and touched him lightly on his arm, his mask slipping firmly back in place.

"Fine ... you?"

"Your mum did her best to get me plastered"

"Did she? Good old mum... did it work?"

"Dunno ... do I seem sober to you?"

"Yup" He looked at her for a minute then gave her another one of his masked smiles and Molly suddenly recognised it for what it was, he was wary and was doing everything he could to protect himself exactly as she was doing as he nodded his head and raised his eyebrows "Think so anyway ... um .. what did she say to you?"

"Nothin'"

"I don't believe that for a start, come on you can tell me"

"Not a lot ... she didn't say much"

"That really would be a first for my mother Molly... no point in trying to spare my feelings, she certainly didn't when she was talking to me ... and I know she said something, so what was it?"

"Just that she didn't want to interfere ..."

"Lovely ... and that would be just before she did exactly that" He shook his head and laughed "Come on, tell me, what did she really say?"

"That is what she said and then she just went on about Elvis 'n that and about people dying too young and how life was too short and she said that she'd been talking to you but wasn't sure you'd told her everything but she never asked me to tell her anything, she told me she didn't want to yell at you and that she thought there was probably enough people doing that already ..."

Molly bit her lip as she looked up at him, suddenly not a bit sure whether she'd actually had one too many glasses of wine or not enough because she could see that somewhere hidden behind his carefully masked expression he was anxious about what Meg had said to her.

"And that was it ... that was all she said?"

"She said I needed to think whether I wanted to live without you for always ... that I should make sure that it was what I really wanted" She had thought for a minute that he might have put his mum up to saying it, but the worried frown on his face and the fear in his eyes told her different, that he really hadn't known what she was going to say "Why what did she say to you?"

"Nothing I didn't deserve ... let's just say she has been known to be happier with me ..." He broke off as his mother re-appeared in the kitchen doorway "Look, can we go and talk about this somewhere else?"

He shot an irritated glance at Meg who was bobbing in and out with piles of plates and coffee cups so that he had to keep waiting for her to stop shouting over her shoulder at Bill telling him to make absolutely sure he'd locked the windows properly before gesturing at the two of them to move away from the sink as she dumped another load of washing up before bustling out again. He put a hand down to the small of Molly's back and steered her towards the door, he suddenly wanted very badly to get out of the room before she said anything else, whatever she was going to tell him he didn't want her to hear it in front of an audience of his slightly pissed parents. His mother would give him hell, again.

"Just tell me what you've decided" He was doing his best to try and look unemotional and even attempted a smile but failed miserably as they sat side by side on the bottom stair "Have you done what she said and made up your mind?"

His voice tailed away as he bent his head and ran his fingers through the hair on the back of his neck then tugged at his curls which was something she'd seen him do a million times before whenever he was very upset or stressed.

"Well ... I'm here aren't I?"

He got to his feet and flicked his head to indicate that he wanted to move upstairs and then put his hand out to pull her to her feet and get her to walk up next to him "Let's go upstairs and talk about it in private before my bloody mother puts in an appearance and starts giving us the benefit of her advice again" and wondered whether Molly would remember the first time they'd ever walked up the same stairs together, such a lot of water had gone under the bridge since that day, and not all of it good.

"Her advice 'as been pretty spot on so far..."

"Has it? ... Oh and by the way don't worry about being plastered Mrs James I won't let you fall down the bloody stairs, I promise"

"It's not James, it's Dawes ... and I'm not gonna fall and I'm not plastered, I'm stone cold sober, remember? .. Oi 'ang on, 'ang on, wait a minute" He had begun to speed up and was trying to take the steps two at a time and trying to pull her along with him "What's the bleeding hurry, you afraid I'm gonna change me mind or something ..."

"Of course I'm afraid you're going to change your mind"

"Why would I? ... but ... and this is just so as you know" She stopped and let go of his hand and waved hers backwards and forwards between the two of them before taking his hand again and resuming the climb up the stairs "This ... this don't change anything, I'm not gonna sleep with you"

"I know"

-OG-

 _ **A/N: Thank you for all the lovely comments, we hope that you enjoy this chapter as much as you did the last one ...**_


	11. Chapter 11

_**Justice for Molly**_

 _ **Chapter 11 – Temptation**_

-OG-

"Can you get me stuff for me from the car?"

"Yep ... just stay right where you are ... don't go anywhere"

Molly stared around the room that she'd thought she'd never see again. Some of the happiest times of her life had been spent in this room, the first time she'd realised he was as nuts about her as she was about him, that he wanted her much and all the times he'd made her believe they were forever or at least that's what she'd thought. Nothing had changed, well not in the room itself it hadn't, it still smelled the same, lavender polish and there was still the same big dark old fashioned furniture, the same paper on the walls and the same curtains and there was still the same coffee stain on the carpet where Charles had knocked his cup flying one of the first times she'd ever been there, although why things should be any different now she didn't quite know, she hadn't been gone years it was only a matter of months. But other things _had_ changed, they'd changed beyond anything she could have imagined in her worst fucking nightmare. Yeah, there were still the same soft side lights that he'd flicked on before he leaned back against the door and watched her with hooded eyes as she looked round, it was as almost if he couldn't quite believe she was there either before he turned and vanished and as usual risked breaking his neck by taking the stairs two at a time as she wandered around touching things and then went out on the landing to wait for him. He'd left the front door wide open totally disregarding every word he'd said earlier about it being an invitation for thieves to nip in and help themselves and she could hear Bill muttering in the hallway below about how some people were born in a bloody barn as he huffed and went over and shut it. It was all so same old, same old. Only she was different. She wandered back and started opening drawers to see if any of her stuff was still there or whether it had been chucked out, although why Meg would have done that she didn't know, but it was all still there and had obviously been washed and ironed and folded neatly to put it away and not just chucked in the drawers like she'd of done. It felt odd as if it was not really real being back in that room because she'd told herself over and over that this house, this room was part of her past and she'd tortured herself picturing Georgie in this room with him, sleeping in that bed instead of her.

She was on the point of going down to let him in when his mum answered the knock on the door and then there were all these muffled sounds of their voices talking in the hall saying stuff she couldn't quite make out which really pissed her off before he came bounding up the stairs again.

"You alright?"

"Yeah ... must remember to thank your mum for seeing to me stuff for me" She waved her hand vaguely in the direction of the chest of drawers and then went to sit on the bed and began to root through her backpack for nightclothes and toilet bag suddenly angry again and not wanting to meet his eyes "What was all that about?"

"Nothing ..." He jerked his head in the direction of the bathroom door "Do you want to go first?"

"Thanks" Molly hesitated "Where am I gonna sleep Charles? I mean you know I'm not sleeping in 'ere with you and this is your room and ... so where ...?"

"In here of course ... it's your room as well ... but don't worry, I'll find somewhere else" He crossed the room to sit on the edge of the bed next to her making very sure he was just far enough away not to touch, not even by accident and then hastily made a decision as he ran his hand over the back of his neck and looked sideways at her before returning his gaze to the floor. He'd gone over this a thousand times in his head when he'd been trying to imagine how he was going to explain the inexplicable to her if he ever got the chance, but now it suddenly seemed simple, he had to be honest. Given a straight choice he really wouldn't have told her any of it, but she deserved the truth and this was Molly for fuck sake and he remembered her telling him once that she had a bullshit radar for people who tried to lie to her, so there was a danger that she'd know immediately if he tried to put a spin on any of it "There was death everywhere I looked Mol, blood and pain and ... there was nothing I could do about it ... and it was my fault, all of it, I was responsible because it was my fucking job to look after people and get them home in one piece not to get them killed, and then someone I would have trusted with my bloody life turned out to be a complete crock of shit" He paused and shook his head slowly from side to side, obviously still feeling that same degree of disbelief "I really liked him you know and I'd have laid money on Azizi being one of the good guys and look how that turned out? I'd begun to make mistakes Mol, left, right and fucking centre, and those mistakes meant more people dying so how was I supposed to trust my judgement ... and I knew others had stopped trusting me as well" He paused and wiped his hand down his face "I can't blame them for that, if I didn't trust me why the fuck would anyone else?"

He got up and walked over to the huge wooden chest of drawers that was against one wall and put his hands on top then leaned on them so that he had his back to her and Molly knew it was because he didn't want to see her face, that he thought he would see censure in her eyes.

"Then Elvis ... and her face when she was trying to stop him dying ... but I fucking knew right from the moment that bomb went off that there was nothing she could do, that there was nothing any of us could do... Elvis ... my friend ... who'd been there as far back as I could remember, the bloody adrenalin junkie who was always up for a laugh and who'd always seemed to be the most indestructible person I knew ... gone ... and it was my fault and that meant it was up to me to see she was alright ... I had to do that much for him ... I kept seeing him fly off that fucking rooftop and kept hearing her screams and remembering having to put him in that fucking body bag and every time..." He swallowed hard "Every time I saw her cry over him I couldn't stand it, I felt so fucking guilty... my fault ... I knew I'd never forgive myself ... but by then of course I'd got it all badly fucked up so all I could think was how I'd let everyone down, Elvis, her, the lads and most of all ... you"

"How do you work that one out? You didn't let me down ... well, not then anyhow ... you did after, then you let me down" Molly heaved a deep sigh "You let yourself down is what you mean"

"I know ... but I let you down as well though didn't I? You didn't marry some pathetic ... excuse that couldn't make a decision to save his bloody life did you? Someone who put other people's lives at risk, that wasn't who I was, and I don't know now why it all made so much sense at the time, I knew I was making a fucking mess of all of it but I still didn't believe there was anything wrong with me ... and then Belize and I really thought that was it, that it was the end ... that I'd fucked up one last time and do you want to know something funny, all I wanted was you but you weren't there and she was" Even as he said it he knew it was a bloody stupid and unreasonable thing to say, he'd been delirious with fever and pain and had been dreaming about home and Molly so it had been hard to know what was real and what was in his head "Sorry ... but I got it in my head that she was the only one who understood about Elvis and ... I didn't have to explain anything to her or apologise because every time I fucked up she was there and saw it for herself, mind you she was bloody responsible for a lot of it because she was another one who'd lost sight of what she was doing ... almost as much as me ..." He hesitated again, suddenly worried that he was inviting her to tell him to sod off and to go and find somewhere to sleep, or that he'd started to sound as if he was trying to justify himself or even worse, blame it all on Georgie "Margot says she's very likely to be suffering Post Traumatic Stress as well and because of that it was a toxic combination"

"Sorry, can't worry about 'er ... you know I never expected you to be some sort of fucking superhero Charles, don't you? I never asked for you to be perfect either ... that wasn't who I married, I married you ... so what made you think it was what I needed ... or wanted ... and what the fuck made you think I was gonna be fine when you decided to piss off with someone else, what give you that idea ... or didn't you even think about me?"

"You were though, weren't you?"

"What? Alright? Is that what you think? Well I am now, but I had no fucking choice did I? And you know that all that stuff didn't matter to me, don't you? I just wanted you to talk to me ... that's all ... to let me help, or to maybe even listen a bit when I was trying to 'elp but instead of that you shut me out and went running to her ..."

"I know ... I do know that, I know that only too well now, and I probably knew it then but ... well I persuaded myself that you didn't understand that there was nothing _wrong_ with me... it was more that you didn't care anymore so were getting on with your own life ... and that you didn't need me the way she did so I started telling myself that you and I were all wrong together, that we'd run our course and that you were going to be far better off without me"

"So, is that what you thought when you was refusing to talk to me and was texting her instead?"

"I suppose so, at the time ... sorry"

"You trying to say all that's changed now?"

"Do you really have to ask?" He'd come back to sit on the side of the bed next to her but was still being careful not to touch her.

"Yeah I do actually ... cos you know what, I dunno 'ow am I s'posed to believe you now, I mean why should I? And 'ow am I s'posed to know you're not gonna turn round and piss all over me again when things get a bit shit for some reason" She paused "I used to have a plan, you know, of what I wanted to do with me life, of how I saw things working, but I didn't plan on getting fucked over by my old man, I didn't plan on 'aving to start again and make a new plan ... but that's what 'appened innit?"

"I know ... and I don't know what I can say that would make you believe me, I only wish I did ... but to be honest I'm not even sure there is anything ... and when I look back now I can't believe I got it all so wrong Mol ... but I did ..." He longed to put his arms round her but the way she was sitting on the bed just a few feet away from him with her arms hugging her knees meant that it might as well have been a few miles "So ... that's it for me, no more ... it's a desk job from now on ... pushing bits of paper around all day, but I'm counting myself bloody lucky to have even that much to look forward to, it could have all been so different ... Oh and two sessions a week with Margot for the foreseeable"

"I didn't think that was your bag"

"What Margot or the desk job?"

"Both ... but the job I s'pose"

"It's not ... I find the thought of sitting behind a desk all day makes me want to scream, how did you describe it now, the thought does my head in, but then so does the alternative, a nice long spell of sitting around the house on sick leave and then the dole because I'm not exactly qualified for anything else am I? The army is all I've ever known and it used to be what I was good at... not now, of course, not anymore, not with my history ... but the one thing I am sure about is that I'm never going to do another tour, not that I can see anyone being exactly delirious at the prospect of me being in charge again somewhere with people relying on me, definitely can't see that happening any time soon, the Brig made that much very plain to me"

To her horror she realised there was the sheen of tears in his eyes as he talked about his immediate future, not that he was crying exactly but it was still something she'd never thought she'd see in a million years. He was right when he said she'd always expected him to be the strong one about everything, had thought about him as a rock, her rock, so it was a shock to suddenly face the reality that he was as vulnerable as she was. It was just that he'd been better at hiding it behind a mask over the years.

"Probably be good to stop home for a bit, what with needing to see Margot 'n that"

Molly knew she was just saying something to fill the silence as she watched a solitary tear leak from the corner of his eye and slowly roll down his cheek before he dashed it away with an impatient swipe of his hand and she felt the sharp prickle of tears on the backs of her own eyes and moved to sit next to him. How the bloody hell had it all gone so wrong?

"Don't" She put a hand on his arm and watched a muscle twitch in his face as he swallowed and struggled hard to compose himself while she felt totally useless trying to think of what she could possibly say that would make him feel better as her own eyes flooded with tears which started to escape and trickle down her face.

"Ditto" He turned and put his hand up and used his thumb to gently wipe them away and suddenly their arms were wrapped tightly round one another, as they clung to each other with their wet faces pressed together.

"I thought there was _time,_ you know, that there was plenty of time for me to be pissed at you, never really thought about it being forever, never thought that far ahead until your mum said about me needing to be sure ... I s'pose I thought that you deserved everything you got but then she said that Elvis had thought he had all the time in the world ... and for me to think about that and ... Smurf ... 'n I started thinking what if it happened to you ... there was all those times I refused to talk to you, when I fucking hated you and what if you were the one to die? You'd die thinking I hated you and then .. well I just didn't know anymore" Molly brushed the tears away where they were dripping off her chin "I'm tired of feeling sad and hurt ... and like I'm left out ... I want to feel like me again and I don't know whether I can ..."

"What? Feel like that if you're with me, right? ... I know ... but I always knew you didn't hate me Mol, well not as much as I hated myself" He swallowed hard "I can't think of anything I want more than to ask you to please come back to me, to come home ... but I want you to come home because you're sure it's what you want and I don't want you to ever be sorry ... but please, please don't cry"

"I'm not ..." She put a finger up and wiped a stray tear from his face as he mirrored the action and traced the path of a tear down her cheek with his thumb, his eyes following it until it reached her mouth so that she could taste the salt before he brushed it away gently, his thumb tracing the outline of her lips.

And then his hands were tangled in her hair and he was pushing it back from her face to pull her towards him and she could taste the salt of their mingled tears as he put his mouth on hers and kissed her with an ever increasing urgency at the same time as stroking the side of her face to hold her head make sure her lips stayed locked to his. Her fingers moved up to twine in the short hairs at the back of his neck as he broke the kiss and leaned away from her a little, leaning his head back towards her hand until she leaned into him and his mouth opened hungrily over hers again, as everything melted away until nothing at all existed for her but the taste of him and the smell of his skin and the way his heart was pounding against her chest.

"Hey ..." He broke the kiss and began to kiss her neck round to her ear before tightening his arms round her and pushing her hair away with his chin to whisper against her ear "You'd better go and get ready for bed or I'm about to forget every promise I've made about waiting out"

"Are you telling me to piss off?" She knew he was right and that it would be the sensible _mature_ thing for her to do, to get up and go to the bathroom, but at that exact moment wasn't sure that she wanted to be that sensible, despite everything she still had the same difficulty she'd always had in keeping her hands off him "So you sayin' you don't you want me to stay with you then?"

"Shit Mol, what a question ... of course I want you to stay with me, I can't think of anything I'd like more" He stroked the sides of her face with his thumbs again "But ... I can't bear the thought you might regret anything"

"Okay ...I'm going" Molly tore herself away then spoke over her shoulder as she picked up her backpack "I know you gotta go and find somewhere to ... but you won't go while I'm in there will you?" She stopped at the bathroom door "I know I said I weren't gonna sleep with you but you could stop in here if you want ... I mean, it's a big bed innit? ... not that I've changed me mind or anything ... just sayin'"

She closed the door carefully behind her as Charles sat on the side of the bed and stripped off his shirt and socks then balled his socks and shirt together and threw them in the general direction of the chair before going back to thinking about her on the other side of the door and wondering whether she'd meant it when she'd said about them sharing the bed and whether it did mean she was seriously considering coming back to him. She seemed to be in there forever before the sound of the door opening made him turn his head and his breath hitched at the sight of her wearing a tiny pair of sleep shorts and a red top, whether it was the same red top he doubted, but looking at her was like turning the clock back to another lifetime as he ran his tongue over lips that were suddenly as dry as a bone. It was beginning to occur to him that it was going to be almost an impossibility to just lie in bed next to her without touching her, and that maybe finding somewhere else to sleep would actually be a good idea.

"Are we gonna do it then?"

"Do what?"

"Share the bed of course ... what did you think I meant? We could put a pillow ... or something ...?"

She gestured with her hand in the general direction of the middle of the bed and then shrugged as he fought the urge to just lean over and pull her into the bed with him, standing up hastily instead before temptation could get the better of him and then wondered what the chances were of being able to get to the bathroom without her seeing the affect she was having on him for the second time in a matter of hours.

"Just going ..." He kept his back turned as he spoke and indicated the bathroom "You get into bed and we'll sort it when I get back if you like"

-OG-

 _ **A/N: Thank you for your wonderful feedback for Chapter 10 ... and sorry to those who want her to dump him on his arse from a great height or to pick Matt instead ... In our world they will always be a couple ... whether that is staying together or moving on they will always love each other ... but before they can re-build their lives it's a question of being able to forgive ...**_


	12. Chapter 12

_**Justice For Molly**_

 _ **Chapter 12 - Make the World Go Away**_

 _ **-OG-**_

Repeatedly splashing his face with handfuls of cold water was doing nothing to wipe the picture in his head of that day she'd stood in front of him drying her hair and worrying about what they'd had to deal with at the Mountain Pass, the death of the lad she'd called Rolex Boy had badly shaken her very badly and she'd still been worrying about Bashira and she had looked very vulnerable, he'd wanted nothing more than to put his arm round her and comfort her but he couldn't, it was against bloody regulations. That was the day he'd been alone with her for the first time when she'd been wearing those same bloody shorts or ones very like them and had been totally oblivious to the effect she was having on him, and it had been the very first time he'd ever touched her. Although thinking about that now with hindsight the touch had been fucking innocent but he could still remember vividly the way he'd been swamped with desire when he'd held her hand. He couldn't now stop himself thinking about the way she'd looked at him when he'd asked her to come back to him, her green eyes huge and full of what? He wasn't sure now, but it had been affection at the very least, and what he wouldn't give right now for her to look at him like that again. But it all felt like several lifetimes ago now as he eventually forced himself to look in the mirror at the face looking back at him, the dark hair that was damp from the water and was in need of a cut and the stubble on his jaw, he always seemed in need of a shave somehow no matter how often he had one, and most of all the deep frown lines on his forehead that were making him look bloody light years older. His eyes were red-rimmed and bloodshot tonight and looked sore and weary as though he hadn't slept properly for months which in fact wasn't that far from the truth, and the fucking tears that he hadn't been able to control when he'd started talking about his incredibly dubious career prospects, hadn't helped much either. When it came down to it, it seemed as if all the months of keeping a tight lid on his emotions even when he was talking to Margot counted for fuck-all, all he'd succeeded in doing was making a prize fucking twat of himself. And his mum hadn't exactly helped when she'd told him just how bitterly disappointed she was in him, something that probably shouldn't matter to him quite as much as it did, after all he was a grown man in his fucking thirties not a kid, and her reaction was exactly what he should have been expecting. But wasn't. He'd been prepared for her to be angry with him when she found out what he'd done, both his parents adored Molly so he'd fully expected them to ask him what the fuck he thought he'd been playing at and for Meg especially to be sceptical about Margot's assertions about PTSD, he knew his mum was pretty black and white about that sort of thing and she was bound to think that he was using it as an excuse. But the look of disdain on her face and the tone of her voice had been very difficult for him to take.

Molly seemed to be on the verge of sleep when he went back although he wasn't entirely convinced it was genuine, but at least the Berlin wall of the pillow down the bed hadn't put in an appearance. Not that it actually mattered, he couldn't really see the need for a physical barrier of any sort between then, she appeared to be asleep and he was bone weary and had every intention of sticking to his own side of the bed as he put his head on the pillow and closed his eyes with a deep sigh of tired relief. For once he was wiped out enough to hope that it would be the night when there would be no nightmare flashbacks to wreck his sleep, or hers, and that he was going to be able to drop off without the crushing guilt and regret keeping him awake, or the sheer loneliness that had been stopping him from sleeping properly since the madness of Bangladesh.

-OG-

For a moment she didn't know what the hell had woken her or even where the actual fuck she was. It was pitch dark and chilly and was quiet as the bloody grave so as she obviously wasn't in barracks. So just for a change her sleep hadn't been fucked by some inconsiderate arsehole's noisy social life, no doors were banging and there were no drunks shouting and laughing and no loud shouts of 'shut the fuck up' from her neighbours or from those sober enough to remember they'd already been threatened with a charge if there was any more complaints about them and their racket. There was just the sound of soft breathing as he slept peacefully spooned against her, his arm heavy over her waist and his warm breath ruffling the hairs on the back of her head so that she was swamped with all these feelings of _familiarity._ Even though it had been a very long time since she'd last shared a bed with him and even longer since she'd shared a bed with anyone else, her body obviously remembered only too well how they used to sleep together judging from the way she was tucked against him, even though her mind was trying it's bloody damnedest to forget. She was no longer used to feeling someone's warmth in the bed next to her or to waking up with someone holding her, and what was even more ridiculous was thatCharles of all people still seemed to have the power to make her feel _safe_ when he was actually the latest in a very long line of people who'd fucked her over. He was the one who'd broken her in bits when no-one else had ever got close enough to do that, so it should have been dead easy to just bloody ignore him, to shove him away, hard, and then pull the duvet over herself. But it wasn't.

Nothing in her world felt certain anymore as she found herself desperately wanting to stay snuggled against him, although she shouldn't have said he could sleep there with her because it was just making things even more complicated than they already were. If he wasn't there, she wouldn't be feeling like this, it didn't seem to matter how much she wished things could go back to the way they used to be, she couldn't see how that could possibly ever happen, she couldn't just pick up the pieces of her life and _trust_ him again the way she used to. Not when there was still this voice in her head keep screaming at her that he used to say all the time that he loved her and that he'd never do anything to hurt her, and then he'd gone and done exactly that. He'd been unfaithful with bloody Georgie of all people. She remembered hearing someone say once that words were cheap and it was actions that counted and they were bloody right, what someone does to you once, they can easy do again.

He was murmuring something as she pushed his arm away and he immediately snaked it back over her again so she knew he was either so deeply asleep he was doing stuff he didn't know about or was faking it, and somehow in spite of his 'I'm fast asleep' breathing she knew it was the latter. He was as wide awake as she was.

"Charles ... talk to me ... I know you're not asleep"

"Molly?" His voice was husky as if he really had been sleeping and wasn't sure if it was her so that she felt like giving him some sarcastic applause for his acting but then he put his arm straight back over her again and pulled her closer "What's the matter ... are you okay?"

"Yeah ... course ... just woke up that's all, it's a bit taters in 'ere ... what time is it?"

"This bloody place is like a fridge sometimes ... and it's very late ... about 3ish I think"

Waking up with her sleeping curled against him had felt like they'd turned back the clock to their very earliest days, to a time when they used to spend every night they could wrapped round each other. He'd been filled with a déjà vue of happy contentment, a feeling he'd forgotten even existed as he'd drifted in and out of sleep, before reality had forced its way in. Even though she was sleeping tucked up next to him and he was close enough to her to smell her shampoo, the distinctive coconut smell that'd said Molly and home to him ever since their Afghan days, nothing had really changed.

Molly had closed her eyes and was trying very hard to keep them tight shut, she was hoping she could stop pretending and go back to sleep and could then stop having to ignore the butterflies that were jumping around in her stomach at the way his arm was pulling her gently against him. It was getting more and more difficult to simply ignore the way his warmth was making her feel as she snuggled down against him and it became impossible when he gently rolled her over until she was facing him and cradled her head against his chest. She had long since stopped feeling cold but for some reason little shivers had started to run through her as though she couldn't get warm. Charles tightened his hold when he felt her shake and pulled her hard against him and began to stroke small comforting circles on her back, each one lower than the last until her whole body was nestled into him and she was breathing in the familiar woody earthiness of his middle of the night skin. Being surrounded by the mixture of soap and shampoo and slight muskiness that was uniquely him was stopping her from thinking straight as her head spun with the need to put a stop to whatever it was was going on between them and pull away.

"Charles ... I thought we weren't gonna ... what we doing?"

"You are so unbelievable beautiful ... sorry, you're right ... of course you are ... I shouldn't be doing this"

It was as if he was whispering to himself more than to her, his voice was soft and low and he had this tired, strained look on his face as though he was forcing his lips to a e smile that didn't quite reach his eyes as two little worry lines appeared over the bridge of his nose. To Molly he looked for a minute as though he was hanging onto his calm by a single thread.

"I'm not beautiful ... you're the good-looking one ... ask anyone"

Shit. She could have bitten her tongue out as soon as she heard the words leave her mouth. She hadn't meant to have a dig at him about other people finding him attractive, about other women fancying him or anything, or about him not being faithful which was what it had sounded like. But it was just one of those stupid things you say without thinking when you feel bit embarrassed.

"You are, you know, you're bloody perfect and I've been a total bastard ... I'm sorry ..."

"Yeah alright, maybe ... but you're a good-looking bastard ... "

"Thanks..." He did his best to laugh or at least to sound as though she'd amused him "I want to kiss you so much it hurts"

"Ditto"

" _Ditto? ..._ " He lifted his head to look down at her face then raised his eyebrows and blinked rapidly in disbelief _"Ditto?_ Did you just say ditto?"

He moved his fingers to cradle her face as she nodded then tilted her chin with hands that weren't quite steady to make her look at him. She gazed back at him steadily, her eyes wide the way she always used to look at him when she still loved him and still wanted him, the way he'd begun to believe was never going to happen again. He could feel her pulse racing in the same way it always used to before he'd fucked everything up and thrown his marriage away. Now he felt like a kid picking at a scab to see if the wound underneath would bleed as he realised he'd just virtually asked her if she wanted him to stop when he was almost at the point of one of his dreams coming true. What the fuck?

"Sounds like it's you don't want to ... not me"

"Oh I want to ... believe me I want to, you have got no idea how much ... I just want to be sure that you are absolutely certain ... ?"

She didn't say anything, but pulled his head down to hers and nibbled on his bottom lip, something Molly knew drove him mad and which they both knew only too well always turned him on, not that he needed any encouragement as his breath hitched in his throat and his mouth crashed down on hers in a kiss that was hot and hungry and full of pent up emotion.

"I am so sorry, Moll, so fucking sorry for ruining your dreams, for ruining everything, for hurting you the way I have, you know that if I could go back and change it all I would, don't you?"

"Yeah I know that ... but ... please ... can you just shut up now ..." Molly moved to nibble at his lip again, she wanted him to lose himself in her and she wanted him to kiss her and touch her and make love to her as she lost herself in him, but what she didn't want was anymore talk about any of the rest of the shit. She knew that talking about it would lead to her being flooded with doubts and those doubts would take her over again.t.

"Charles..." He felt her lips vibrate against his mouth as she whispered his name.

"Mmm?" He didn't want to stop kissing her long enough to ask what she wanted, although he was no longer as afraid as he had been that she was going to stop him in his tracks, so slid his mouth down and kissed and nipped at her neck before he kissed round to her ear as she closed her eyes and put her chin up to encourage him. He could smell lingering traces of perfume, something that smelled of flowers, a smell that sent a message straight to his groin, not that it needed any encouragement as he put his hands under the waistband of her shorts and slowly started sliding them down her legs. He couldn't help being slightly hesitant and ready to stop if she told him to pack it in because it was something he was half-expecting. But she didn't. She just kicked her feet free and helped him pull her little red top over her head as he lost himself in kissing a trail over her collar bones.

"Don't stop" Her words when they came were little more than a gasp as she arched her body up towards his lips as he lifted his head to look at her, to drink in the sight that he thought he'd lost forever "Just don't"

"Wasn't going to"

He was still looking at her, his pupils black with desire as he put his fingertip to her mouth and traced the outline of her lips. She pursed her mouth and kissed it then drew it into her mouth, a gesture that sent the blood rushing straight to his groin as his hands began to roam all over her, and she began to do the same toi him. Suddenly she couldn't get enough of the feel of him as she ran her hands over the muscles of his shoulders and lingered over the planes of his chest before she stroked her fingers over the muscles of his back and down to his taut stomach where they gently traced the line of his scar making him shiver from the sensation. She dipped her hand inside the waistband of his boxers and began to flutter her fingers down the line of dark hair that led to his groin as he groaned and tried to trap her hand with some vague idea of stopping her going any lower.

"Do that again and I won't be responsible ... I won't be able to stop"

"Well ... hurry up then ..."

He chuckled at the words and at the well-remembered petulant tone of her voice from when they used to tease one another with the 'waiting out' that had been part of their love making and put his head back to laugh out loud when she stuck her tongue out at him and giggled when her greedy little hands reached their goal. He put his hand down to try and still hers, afraid he wasn't going to have sufficient self-control to last and then suddenly nothing felt remotely funny anymore as he closed his eyes and lost himself in feelings that he'd been afraid he'd only ever feel again in his dreams.

-OG-

Behind the screen of his eyelids, absolute joy had flooded through him at the way her body had tensed and clung to him as she'd called out his name, and as his own pleasure had exploded, and now every bone in his body seemed to have turned to rubber, a really heavy exhausted rubber which meant it was too difficult to move. All his fears seemed to have disappeared in a single moment as he gathered her into the crook of his arm and she curled up against him, her head resting over his heart and her movements slow like his with sleepy satisfaction as he murmured endearments softly and sleepily against her hair. Charles felt the waves of happiness as a satisfied sleep tried to claim him, but Molly was slowly starting to come back down to earth and had begun asking herself what the fuck she'd done.

Of course she'd known that if she kissed him it wouldn't end there, he'd hardly made a secret of how much he wanted her and she couldn't pretend she hadn't wanted him just as badly when she'd woken up in his arms, or the way she'd enjoyed making love to him, or that she hadn't known exactly what was going to happen if they slept together in the same bed. But she'd also known that having sex meant she couldn't just up and walk away from him, so what the fuckety fuck had she been thinking of? She couldn't go back to him if she wasn't sure she could forgive and forget. It wouldn't last and then they'd both end up fucking miserable again, probably even worse than before. It would be a really unfair thing to do to him, to both of them. Right now she needed to _think_ and it was hard to do that when she was scared that any minute he was going to ask and she didn't know quite what to say.

"You alright?" She could tell from how deep and slow his voice was that he was almost on the brink of falling asleep.

"Yeah ... bit sleepy" She rolled on her side away from him "Go to sleep and we'll talk in the mornin', yeah?"

But he was suddenly wide awake and reluctant to let her turn away from him instead of keeping her curled up in his arms while they went to sleep together but he knew without her saying a word that something wasn't quite right and kissed the back of her head instead, Much as he wanted to try, he made no attempt to change her mind for her because he was suddenly flooded with this horrible certainty that his euphoria had perhaps been a bit premature, a bit previous as Molly would say, but he wasn't sure he could bear to ask and to hear her say that she didn't love him enough to want to come back to him.

-OG-

She had no idea what the time actually was when she woke up, but judging from the tiny sliver of light showing through the gap where the curtains weren't quite closed properly, it was morning. She didn't need to turn over or to put her hand out to check, she knew from the minute she opened her eyes that she was there on her own, that there was going to be no little cuddle or a quiet chat about what she was afraid of, he'd got up and left her there and had shut the door behind him, and there was a stone cold cup of tea on the bedside table so she'd obviously been on her own for quite a while. It was almost as if the middle of the night had never even happened and that she'd dreamed the whole bloody thing except that her clothes seemed to be missing and her thighs were aching in a way they hadn't ached for a very long time.

-OG-

 _ **A/N: Thank you for the feedback and for the lovely reviews and for being patient while I was away on holiday, we know that many of us are just longing for her to jump back into their lives together, but it's not that easy to forgive and forget ... it takes time and she has to be sure ... there won't be a long wait for the next update, its almost ready ... thank you for sticking with us.**_


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N:** _ **The morning after the night before in the slow walk to finding a way back ... Thjank you for your reviews and all the feedback on Chapter 12 ... do hope you'll enjoy this. To the lovely people who keep messaging me about Roadside Rescue, I promise to take up the story as soon as this is finished, I found it too difficult to keep swapping between one and the other.**_

 _ **-OG-**_

 _ **Justice For Molly**_

 _ **Chapter 13 – Don't go breaking my Heart**_

She'd been a bit ashamed of the way she'd behaved towards him in the middle of the night, she had been leading him on because that was what she'd wanted to do then when it had been over she'd turned her back on him which must have been worse than horrible for him. She'd sort of been tempted to turn over again and talk to him but she didn't know what to say so had just lay there in silence knowing she'd upset and hurt him until he'd turned over and gone off to sleep. It was a horrible feeling knowing that he'd been trying so hard for weeks and had been wearing his heart on his sleeve while she'd kept blowing hot and cold as if she didn't care. And she did care, it was just all so difficult when every time she thought about them, about them doing _stuff_ together it made her feel like being sick.

When he'd turned up at Families day she'd honestly still hated his guts so it had been easy, all cut and dried, settled, they were on their way to the bleeding divorce courts and he could have bloody Georgie Lane tied up with red ribbons, she was fucking welcome to him. And she'd been busy getting on with her own life and had got to the point where she was almost happy again, okay maybe not happy but she had a job she was good at and was happy doing, with a boss that she liked so there'd been no question of doing what he'd wanted and going home. But she didn't know if any of that was true anymore. There was this great big bit of her that wanted things to go back to where they could be happy again, but she didn't know if that was even possible, and she definitely didn't want to go back to being the hot topic of barracks gossip again because this time they'd all be looking at her and raising their eyebrows and telling each other how plain fucking dumb she was to even be thinking about it.

What she really needed was to stand under a proper shower so hot water would soothe all the achey bits and wash the smell of him off her, but this was Royal Crescent and there was never enough hot water for anything like that. Bill had spent ages once telling her how old houses like this one had piss-poor plumbing and about it being listed and how the listings people were all bloody Nazis who needed their arses kissed before he was allowed to alter anything and how he wasn't going to jump through hoops or spend an eye-watering amount of money, so they had to learn to live with the shower suddenly running freezing cold when a tap was turned on anywhere else in the house. She missed the power shower that Charles had insisted on getting in their house, like she missed them having showers together the way they always used to whenever they got a chance but that was then and this was, well now and that was yet another thing she needed to forget all about.

When she'd slammed out on him she hadn't taken any of his stuff with her, none of his sweaters or fleeces or anything that she used to wear because she didn't want to be reminded of him all the time so had just chucked it all in a big heap on the bed and left it, and now her conscience was telling her that rummaging through his stuff was probably the wrong thing for her to be doing. She really had no right to be touching his stuff anymore but she was chilly and for some reason, mainly that she was a total Muppet who'd been in too much of a bloody rush to think clearly the night before, she hadn't bought anything with her warmer than a sodding 't' shirt and it definitely wasn't a 't' shirt sort of day so she would hopefully find a fleece or something that would be nice enough to steal. She'd left some jeans here because they used to be a bit on the tight side, she'd needed to lie on the floor to do the zips, but her prolonged 'getting cheated on and dumped' diet meant they all fitted her perfectly now, so maybe it had been a bit of a bonus in disguise.

-OG-

"But you said I could ... you said in a minute"

Sam was bored and overtired from his late night so was whining which was getting on Charles nerves as the little boy stage whispered at his dad and narrowed his eyes while he glared accusingly at Meg. Charles had had very little sleep so was also tired and unsettled with a decidedly short fuse and had to grit his teeth to stop himself doing a 'you are pushing your luck' and snapping Sam's head off. He'd woken with a familiar sensation in the pit of his stomach, a feeling of tension that had become as much a part of his life as breathing over the preceding months, an incessant feeling that today was going to be worse than yesterday and that tomorrow was going to hurt even more, and that there was fuck all he could do about it. He'd lost her and it was his own fault.

"It's more than a minute now, Daddy"

"I didn't say you could go and wake her up, Sam, I said you could ask her to play with you when she gets up and that's different, if Molly said she would play with you then I'm sure she will, but until then you're just going to have to wait, now find something quiet to do, your Gran's got a poorly head this morning"

He smirked in Meg's direction which was a total waste of a gesture because she still had her eyes firmly shut as she rested her head on her folded arms on the table and tried to ignore everyone. Charles chuckled and shook his head and made a mental note to tactfully remind Rebecca to get Sam's hair cut, then put a hand across and smoothed it back from where it was hanging in his eyes while his son jerked his head away in a gesture of extreme impatience. Whether Rebecca loved Sam's curls or not they needed cutting, he could still remember the agonies of being taunted at school about his own girlie curls.

"Go up and find your book, there's a good boy, or get a puzzle or something quiet ..."

"Can I go on your iPad instead, then?"

"Nope ... you know the rules" The last thing he wanted was a set to with Rebecca who had a very strict set of rules about Sam's being allowed screen time.

"That's not fair"

Molly was in the hallway listening as she tried to pluck up enough courage to stick her chin in the air and waltz on in as though she hadn't got a care in the world when she realised she was about to get busted anyway. Sam was going to come charging through the door any second and was going to catch her loitering and listening so she had no real choice but to just stop messing and do it. But she was horribly self-conscious about facing them, which was ridiculous in itself because they were family for fuck sake, but she didn't know whether they knew about her and Charles sharing a bed. If Meg knew, she was bound to add two and two and decide everything was bloody sorted and she'd have them back together in a heartbeat which could well be a tiny bit awkward, or a lot bloody awkward. And she was still pissed at him. They'd needed to talk on their own and get their story straight, without the bleeding audience, which she would have told him if he hadn't pissed off before she could tell him anything about anything, but he should have known.

To Molly it was very like the first time she'd stayed there with him when his parents had been home. She'd hung about in the hall for ages that day as well because of being dead nervous and not happy about just bowling in bold as brass as Nan would say and trying to look as if she hadn't just spent the night with him having sex in his bed. That day she'd been bloody desperate for him to come to her rescue, because she'd been sure that his mum and dad were going to think she was some common little tart who wasn't nearly good enough for him, that they'd think she was not only too young but wasn't posh enough either. But she'd been wrong that day, they hadn't done anything of the sort, had just been lovely to her so she'd sort of fallen in love with them almost as much as she had with Charles.

"Here she is, my little Sleeping Beauty ... now, stop hanging about over there and come here and give me a kiss ... and show me that lovely smile of yours"

Bill was happily jiggling a pan about on the Aga but had turned his head as soon as he sensed her standing in the doorway. He proffered his cheek with a broad grin and tapped his fingertip on it until Molly went over and complied and then took a deep breath and did her best to pin a pleasantly non-committal expression on her face as she turned to look at Charles who was sitting at the table nursing an empty cup. She'd been very conscious of his eyes boring a hole between her shoulder blades when she was talking to his dad and fending off Sam who was now hanging off her arm, tugging at her and desperately vying with his granddad for her attention. But Charles wasn't. He was staring down at his cup before he looked up warily and gave her the sort of distant smile that didn't reach his eyes, the type that made her heart sink because it told her she was right and that he'd left her on her own deliberately.

"Mornin' ..."

"Hey ..." He nodded and repeated his almost smile and nodded in her direction "Nice sweater"

"I thought so ..." She bit her lip wanting desperately for him to see that they needed to talk in private without her saying anything, but he kept a carefully blank expression on his face until eventually she dragged her eyes away from his and looked down at his fleece which absolutely swamped her. She concentrated on rolling the sleeves up a bit more so that she could avoid looking at him, she hated it when he looked at her like that "Didn't think you'd mind ... but say if you do..."

"Of course I don't mind ..."

"French toast and bacon do you my darling?" To her relief Bill waved the slice in Molly's direction before turning and waving it at Meg who'd lifted her head up a fraction and squinted at Molly, before giving her a tiny grimace which might possibly have been meant as a smile, before wincing and closing her eyes again seemingly in pain at the heartiness of Bill's voice "And how about a nice fried egg to go with that? Sunny side up, nice runny yolk ... the light of my life over there insists she's not hungry this morning ... can't think why but she doesn't want any of this lovely breakfast I'm cooking, I can't tempt her to anything ... ungrateful I call it"

"Shut up Bill" Meg muttered without opening her eyes again and then clutched at her head as if the effort of speaking was too much for her "You're not as funny as you think you are"

"Thanks Bill ... I'd love an egg if it's not too much bother ... is it alright if I get meself a cuppa?"

"I'll make it ... Mum, do you want one?"

Meg pulled a face at Charles and shook her head in horror as Molly smiled at him and then giggled at Bill's elaborate pantomime of cracking an egg into a saucer and then making a huge production out of sliding it into the hot fat. He was doing his 'I'm pretending to be a celebrity chef' act as he gave them a running commentary and then waved his hand artistically over the top of the pan as he pretended to be demonstrating a so-called magic technique for frying an egg.

"Mum's a tad fragile this morning" Molly could tell from his voice that Charles was suppressing a laugh "We think it must be something she ate" He gave in and snorted a laugh down his nose "She's going back to bed as soon as she can make it up the stairs"

"Don't be mean ..." Molly shook her head at him, she'd had plenty of experience of being where Meg was sitting so knew where all her sympathies lay "Anyone would think you'd never had an 'eadache day after ... we got any chocolate?"

"Mean? What are you talking about, I'm not mean ..." He chose to ignore her comment about his own track record for hangover headaches "Molly swears by chocolate Mum, says it's the universal cure for everything ...?"

"Well it is, innit? Works for me every time"

"If you say so ... "

Molly stuck her tongue out at him and decided to give him the benefit of the doubt that he wasn't being sarcastic, or not very anyway, and suddenly felt stupidly happy that things seemed to be back the way they used to be when they were still a couple and had been in this kitchen teasing and laughing with Meg and Bill. The way everything had been before it had all fallen to shit.

"Sorry Molly, but even the thought of it ... chocolate ... ugghh ... I really don't know how you can" Meg pretended to gag "And we all know it wasn't something I ate don't we, it's my own fault I'm afraid ..."

"Although to be absolutely fair Mum ... the wine probably had a lot to do with it" Charles smirked at his mother and then snorted another laugh down his nose.

"Of course, why didn't I think of that? It jumped right out of the bottle and into my mouth and I had absolutely no say in it" The corners of Meg's mouth started to lift in a smile "Not my fault at all ... damned stuff had a mind of its own, it should be banned"

"MOLL ... I've got it so we can play now"

The conversation was brought to an abrupt halt by Sam who came bursting back into the kitchen and thumped his "Battleships" game down on the table which made Meg wince at the imminent prospect of the noise. The game itself was noisy as hell and then there was the volume of Sam's excitement to cope with on top "YOU SAID ... and Daddy said as soon as you got up ..." Sam was tugging at Molly's arm again but turned to Charles with impatience written all over him as his father put his hands on his shoulders and to Sam's dismay turned him round and shook him gently telling him firmly to stop shouting, that he hadn't said anything of the sort and that Sam had to wait while Molly had a cup of tea and some breakfast "But you did, Daddy, you said, you DID ... "

"Yes I know I said you could ask Moll to play with you and I meant it ... but you have to wait Sammie, she's having her breakfast and you know you can't just demand someone plays with you right this instant ... now please stop shouting, your Gran's got a headache"

An hour or so later Molly would have been hard pushed to say which was worse, Sam's usual boisterous shouting while he jumped on and off his chair like a little flea or his exaggerated whispers when he remembered he was supposed to be keeping the noise down. It was hard for him to remember to be quiet while he did his usual arm-waving explanation of the rules of the game they were playing, well, the game he was playing anyway, because it bore very little resemblance to the game of 'Battleships' that Molly understood. Sam's interpretation of the rules seemed to change every time she'd grasped the last lot so she had a pretty fair idea that the little bugger was cheating, but then decided to let it go. It didn't seem worth upsetting him when she didn't know when, or even if, she was ever going to be doing this again, spending time playing with him like she used to was proving a bit sad. Admittedly Sam was a pain in the bum sometimes but that didn't stop her from being a little bit sorry for him. Her brothers might be a noisy bunch of little bleeders a lot of the time and they could be bloody hard work whenever they played any sort of board game which always ended up as an open invitation for outright war in their house and for things to get chucked about and sometimes for people to get a bit handy with their fists, but they weren't lonely like Sam who was very short of people to play with, or fight with, a lot of the time. She knew that Charles must have been a lot like him once, a lonely only little kid who had to rely on busy grown-ups to find time to play with him when he was home from boarding school. It was little wonder that he'd tolerated her lot the way he had.

-OG-

"What made you tell them that?" They'd barely been going five minutes when Molly felt the silence in the car had been long enough for it to be oppressive "Why did you lie?"

They'd left Royal Crescent in a flurry of hugs from Meg and Bill shortly after Rebecca had collected a very sulky and tearful Sam who always played a blinder when it was time to say goodbye to his dad and had been insisting loudly that he didn't want to go and see his other grandparents which made Molly a bit sorry for him again. Meg, who still looked as if she'd died in the night had asked them if they were going to stay for another night and had even managed to look regretful when Charles said they were going to get off, even though Molly was pretty sure she was going to collapse on her bed the minute they'd pissed off. Charles had he was sorry but they couldn't and had given this little shake of his head without even asking her what she thought and had then been all nice and sincere and apologetic when he'd told his mum they had to get back because Molly had a family commitment next day, giving Molly yet another demonstration of just how bloody good a liar he seemed to be these days. She'd almost have believed it herself if she didn't know for a fact that he was talking complete bollocks. He knew and it wouldn't have surprised her if Meg did as well, that Molly didn't _do_ family commitments as such, so it was bloody obvious it was him needed to find an excuse to get away and it was the best he could come up with. Not that it came as a surprise to her exactly, she'd been getting increasingly bothered all day that he was avoiding being alone with her and he hadn't been keen on her talking to his mum either, so she was beginning to think that she'd been so caught up in her own doubts and worries that she hadn't even noticed that she might not be the only one who had regrets.

"I thought I'd spare you having to go through the same farce all over again tonight"

"What you talking about?"

"I think you know ... but ... let's leave it there shall we? We gave it our best shot" He closed his eyes for a fleeting moment and then shook his head before going back to concentrating on watching the road "Let's just get home"

"So that's it, is it? You're not even gonna tell me what the fuck you're talking about ... or what I've done, we're just gonna go home ... and then what?"

"What do you mean? I thought this the way you wanted it"

"Yeah course, I love you being all shirty and shitty ... and not telling me what I've done ... 'n you've been like it all day, I mean you've hardly talked to me at all"

"Hard to know what to say really"

He clicked on the indicator and pulled into a lay-by before killing the engine and turning to look at her with irritation written all over him.

"Tell you what why don't you try ... and what you doing? Thought we was in a hurry to get home"

"I would have thought it was obvious ... parking ... it's hard to concentrate and argue at the same time ..." He unclipped his seatbelt and turned to look at her "What do you say to someone that you love but who doesn't even want to look at you afterwards ... someone who obviously wishes it hadn't happened, someone who wishes she'd told you to fuck off"

"I never ... I never said any of that ... I wanted ..."

"Wanted what? To tell me to fuck off?"

"Nah, and you know that's not what I mean, I wanted to be with you... well, you know I did ... it was my idea 'n all, wasn't it, so I'm not gonna sit 'ere and say I'm sorry it happened, but ... I am sorry if ... I never meant to make you think anything like that and I'm gonna shut up now because none of this is making anything better is it, but I really never meant to give you the idea that it was just a shag, that it didn't mean anything to me"

"Thanks ... but you know something Moll, until you said that the thought hadn't actually occurred to me ... tell you what, never try to make anyone feel better about anything ... ever"

"Sorry ... but why didn't you wake me up this morning? Talk to me then"

"I thought you'd appreciate me not hanging about ... that it would be _easier_ for you"

"Easier? Well you thought bloody wrong didn't you?" Molly took a deep breath and tried not to let him see that even talking about it was bringing back all the upset and anger that she'd felt when he hadn't been there when she woke up "I thought we said we was gonna talk about stuff, but you didn't stick around, did you? It was like before, you just shut me out ... again ... "

"That cuts both ways doesn't it? Or was that rule just for me, because I wasn't the one who shut anyone out last night was I?"

"I don't keep secrets" That was a lie if ever she'd told one, it was exactly what she'd done "And I never meant to upset you ...what did you want me to say anyway?"

"Well I certainly didn't want to hear you say it didn't mean anything or that you don't love me enough to even want to try ... to ..." He paused "Well, forgive me I suppose...? I know it's asking a hell of a lot"

"Yeah it is ... but I never said I don't love you, did I? Although sodding off like that this morning didn't help ... I didn't know what to think and this is bloody hard for me"

"I know and I'm sorry..." He suddenly looked happier than he had all day as he leaned across and kissed her cheek then did up his seatbelt and started the car and began looking over his shoulder to check for a gap in the traffic "How about if I promise never to sod off again?"

"You might not get another chance"

"I know ... but I love you ... and I'm a West Ham supporter ... so ..."

"Nah you're not"

"I am now"

-OG-


	14. Chapter 14

_**Justice for Molly**_

 _ **Chapter 14 –In my Head I Paint a Picture**_

 _ **-OG-**_

"Nice weekend was it?"

"Yeah, well it was okay, you know ... not bad thanks"

Molly was finding herself looking anywhere but at him. Meeting his eyes was incredibly hard so she knew she looked bloody shifty as she tried to avoid doing it even though they were standing facing each other in a busy corridor, but ever Charles had gone on about Matt having a soft spot for her, or as he called it a hard spot, she was having a fucking nightmare trying to relax when she was talking to him. It was so hard to treat him the same way she always had in the past, and as things stood it was almost beyond her. When she'd been doing her basic she'd had a bit of a crush on him but could see now that a lot of that was because of her thing of needing whoever was in charge to like her because she never felt quite good enough when all the others were miles cleverer than her, so she'd sort of kidded herself that she was a bit of a favourite of his at the time. It wasn't that she was particularly good at crawling up his bum or anything, but he'd always seemed to let her off with things and she still believed it was true but just not in the way Charles had been insinuating.

Needing the boss to like her was something she'd almost got over when she'd been out in Afghan. Charles had been such an arse when she'd first joined the 'Under Fives' so it hadn't even occurred to her it was possible, she'd spent all her time just focusing on trying to keep under his radar, he'd seemed to take an instantaneous and obvious dislike to her which meant she'd spent all her time trying not to make it any worse, if such a thing was even possible. Every time she'd opened her bloody gob she'd kept on saying the wrong things. But then he'd changed. He'd started to act like he liked her and that he believed in her, had told her she was proving herself and then the closer they got the more he'd said it and had told her that she was brilliant, and she'd believed he meant every word. But then it seemed like he'd stopped thinking like that when he'd stopped loving her.

"Good ... glad to hear it"

The easy camaraderie that had been between her and Matt since the night they'd almost gone to the pub had definitely fucked off somewhere and had taken the friendly banter they used to have with it so there was now this awkward silence instead that had her looking anywhere but at him. He seemed pissed as hell at her for some reason. And it wasn't like she knew what she'd done, she didn't even know whether it was something work-related or not, and her head seemed stuffed with cotton wool as she tried to wrack her brains to think what, if anything, she'd fucked up recently. But there was nothing she could think of and asking him outright seemed wrong, she could be asking for a bollocking which was an alien thing to do. But she couldn't bear not knowing as she stood and looked at the floor and fidgeted and wished he'd just bloody get on with it until eventually she couldn't stand it anymore.

"Is everything okay Staff?"

"I don't know Dawes, why don't you tell me?"

"Sorry?"

"Just tell me that you're not thinking of going back"

"Going back where?"

"Oh for god's sake .." He shook his head "You're not stupid Molly, so please don't act as though you are, you know perfectly well what I mean ... I'm talking about you going running back to that arrogant prick you used to be married to ... _a bunch of fucking flowers_? Is that really all it took for you to forgive him and forget what he did?"

"Nah ... they wasn't for me ... the flowers I mean ... but... Charles and me are still married, Matt, okay we're separated 'n that but I made a lot of promises and I dunno, I think ... "

"That's the trouble isn't it? Why doesn't that surprise me? Once again you're not thinking, well you're definitely not thinking clearly anyway" Matt ran his hand through his hair and let out an exasperated sigh as he looked at her and shook his head, his frustration obviously mounting even though he knew he was asking to be told to fuck off "He made promises as well, don't forget that ... But ..." He shook his head impatiently and swallowed hard trying not to let his mouth run away with him "Obviously your choice ... I just hope you don't live to regret the decision ... can't help this feeling that you're going to"

"Don't say that Staff ... it's just ... I think I might gonna need to sort it out ...I can't just pretend we never happened can I? ... Sorry"

"What are you apologising to me for? Nothing to do with me is it? It's none of my business"

Matt felt the lead weight of disappointment settle in the pit of his stomach as he spoke but in reality it was only what he'd feared all along. In the back of his mind he'd been expecting it, had known it was on the cards ever since the day that bloody husband of hers had turned up at their Families caravan, and then the little encounter in the car park had meant he'd spent a lot of time preparing himself to come to terms with an outcome that seemed almost inevitable. Not that the preparation had helped, but then he wasn't ready yet to give up on her completely, not when there was a bit of him that was convinced the arrogant prick would fuck up again sooner or later.

"Nah, s'pose not ... but ... " She really wished she could just ask him outright why it mattered to him what she did, but if Charles was right, and it was starting to look a bit as though there was maybe a good chance he was, then she'd be risking all sorts of shit if she went there and opened that box. What the fuck could she say, and she really didn't want to hear him say anything else about her and Charles, and it wasn't like he was Brains or someone, a mate she could off-load all her doubts and worries on. He was her boss even if she did have to keep reminding herself to call him Staff and not Matt, she had to be careful not to fuck up her working life. She wanted things at work to stay exactly as they were, to keep on doing what she loved where she felt safe, and the last thing she wanted was a transfer out of there because he thought it was too bloody awkward for them to stay working together.

"Let me know when you're thinking of moving out of barracks" Matt shook his head ruefully "I just hope you're not going to be sorry, Molly"

"I 'aven't decided anything yet"

"Yes you have ... just remember what I've told you before, you have options, so if you want to change your mind at any point ... you can ... and if you decide ... " He paused and swallowed but couldn't bring himself to use the other man's name "That it's not for you, you just have to say the word"

"Thank you"

For some reason her eyes flooded with tears. He was wrong, she really hadn't decided what she was going to do, and this wasn't helping, but Matt was pushing it just by talking to her like this when they were standing where any of the people walking past could hear, although none of them seemed to be taking a blind bit of notice. But you never knew in that place and she felt bad enough knowing everything was possibly going to change without there being a whole shed load of extra gossip. She couldn't imagine how things were going to work out if she did go home, what with Charles and Matt being the way they were about each other.

"Right, come on then ... back to work ... we need to crack on" Matt was suddenly brisk as he patted her on the arm and then took a quick look round to check if there was anyone in the immediate vicinity before he shook her rigid by giving her a swift one armed hug before he turned round and marched off without saying another word leaving her standing there in the corridor watching him go.

-OG-

Molly was heartily relieved when the bloody clock finally moved on enough for her to finish so she could go and get a cup of tea and just sit and be on her own for a bit. She didn't want to talk to anyone or even look at anyone else, she was pig sick of trying to concentrate on making sense of what was being said to her as well as trying to talk sense herself when her head was all over the bloody shop. She was just going to take a little bit of time to sit quiet and sort things in her head before she went back to her room and stretched out on her bed and tried to forget what he'd said.

"That was very touching"

"What?" She'd been so lost in her own thoughts that she hadn't even noticed her coming over and sitting down or putting a cup of something down on the table "What do _you_ want?"

"Nothing, I don't want anything, I just saw you there and thought I'd come and say hello and tell you what a touching little scene I thought it was earlier" She took a sip of her tea or coffee or whatever was in the cup that Molly wished was hemlock "I wanted to say how happy I am to see that you're moving on ... does Charlie know?"

"Know what? Dunno what you're talking about ... and his name is Charles, not Charlie ... I know Elvis always called him that, but Elvis only done it to wind him up, nothing else... and he was allowed ... you're not" Molly looked across at her "You're not Elvis ..."

Georgie shrugged and raised her eyebrows and ignored what she'd said "Does _Charlie_ know about you and the Staff Sergeant? Funny ... I thought he was your _boss ..._ butthe two of you looked very _cosy_ together earlier _"_

She'd smirked when Molly had told her to stop calling him Charlie, glad she'd annoyed her, she'd always called him Charlie _because_ of Elvis and she wasn't going to stop now no matter what the ex-wife said, and anyway it was what she'd called him when they were close and he'd never told her he wanted her to stop. And after the god-awful miserable day she'd had, well the god-awful miserable few months, she was totally pissed off with trying to appease people and absolutely hated that everyone seemed to be making Bangladesh her fault. And now people seemed to be taking a great deal of pleasure in telling her he'd been seen collecting Molly and the latest gossip said he was doing his best to patch up his marriage, something which bloody infuriated her, he hadn't even made a single attempt to see her, or call her to even ask if she was okay, so where did it all leave her? Without anyone on her side, there was no-one wanting to hug her or be with her and people were talking about her behind her back, as well as reporting to a boss who seemed to hate her. He kept barking orders and threatening her all the time about what would happen if she didn't do as she was told, he was a miserable old so-and-so who was making it plain that she was there on sufferance. She knew she'd got away lightly after Bangladesh but it still struck her as being bloody unfair. Whatever she'd done, and she knew she'd made mistakes, but she'd done what she had because she believed it was for the best, she'd been convinced she was right at the time, and catching Molly out doing something she shouldn't and taking her to task over it felt in some way as though she was evening the score. Although she hadn't actually worked out exactly how or when she was going to tell Charlie, not yet, just that she was going to.

"That's bollocks ... but s'pose you'd know all about doing that sort of thing wouldn't you?" Molly shrugged and shook her head as the anger began to bubble up, what she'd really like was to take the smug cow outside and throat punch her into the middle of the following week, lamp her one as Nan would say "But you know, you're dead right about one thing ... Staff Geddings is me boss ... which is why I know he's waaaaay out of bounds" Molly picked up her cup and took a leisurely sip then looked over the rim and smiled hoping she wasn't showing how much she hated the girl sitting across the table from her "You see there are these rules, army regulations they call 'em ... remember them? Charles used to follow 'em, said they was almost the bible even though they was a bit bloody inconvenient sometimes" She paused and shrugged "Shame some people don't get it that even without them rules, there are things that are just plain wrong" Molly ignored the fact that Georgie had started to try and say something and spoke over her "Fucking a mate's husband, that's one of them things that's wrong, innit? Never mind he was also her boss and was struggling, or that she was engaged to his very best mate that died so he was grieving ... or that as the medic she should of been looking out for him, getting him help not messing with him because she thought it'd make her feel better ... seems to me it says a lot about her as a medic don't you think? Or maybe she really did think that _fucking_ him was some sort of cure for everything that was wrong"

"What's he told you? ... I'm not having this"

Georgie had suddenly gone from smug to heartily pissed off and sounded it. Who the hell did Molly think she was talking to her like that, she out-ranked her for fuck sake. But she was a medic too, a medic who didn't seem to care if she was okay, or to understand how it had felt when Elvis died in front of her, how much she'd missed him and how much she still did or how she felt about all of it now. She'd turned to Charlie because he'd said he was there for her, well they'd been there for one another but all that felt bloody hollow now. It had been a mistake of epic proportions but at the time she'd believed it was okay because that was what she'd wanted to believe, she hadn't set out to hurt anybody and it wasn't only her that had made the mistake, he had as well, so she was sick of being cast as the villain. It was a long way from fair and she couldn't see why she should just stand back and watch him end up with everything while she ended up with nothing.

"Whatever he might have told you, Molly, it was him as much as me, he wanted it too ... and you're a fine one to talk about not following rules aren't you, he told me about how you didn't follow orders, so maybe that's what turns him on, who knows"

"Maybe I didn't always ... but I never did stuff like you though, did I? I never got meself in so much bother that I had to be rescued and got other people got hurt when they was sorting it because of me doing something stupid, I never thought I knew better than everyone else"

"I did what I thought was right ... "

"Of course you did ... you're never wrong about anything are you? Nah, that's everyone else and to hell with them ... Elvis would have been so proud"

"Don't bring him into it ... you don't understand the first thing about me and Elvis"

"Don't I? What, you think I don't understand that being without him hurt so much you couldn't stop crying? ... that you couldn't even think about him without falling apart ... Oh I think I do know what that feels like ... how would you have liked it if it had been me got with Elvis so he could 'elp me stop feeling shit about something?" Molly looked at the calm expression on the other girl's face and felt like an over-emotional scruffy urchin with her hair escaping from her plait and not a scrap of make-up left on her end of the day face, not even a trace of lipstick where she'd chewed it all off and felt a red hot bolt of rage go through her at the way bloody Georgie sat there looking cool and calm and not in the least bit embarrassed or sorry for the havoc she'd caused. She just looked as though she couldn't see that she'd done anything wrong and had this impassive smile on her face which made Molly long to slap it off for her "Bloody wish I had now"

"That's different"

"How exactly?"

"It wouldn't have happened anyway, Elvis would never have gone anywhere near you .. he loved me and he loved Charlie and you were Charlie's wife"

"Yeah I was ... So how come that's exactly what you did?"

"No" She shook her head "I had nothing to do with you and Charlie splitting up, you were already over when I got together with him"

"Were we? Is that what he told you?" Molly felt a sinking sensation in the pit of her stomach, she was horribly afraid that Georgie was telling the truth or the truth as he'd told it to her, not that she was going to let her see that she'd hit a raw nerve "What and you believed him did you? Convenient. Pity you didn't ask me though innit? I might have told you a bit different, but then it was fucking useful for you to believe that when you decided you wanted him ... you didn't even think about it ... you didn't even care that much about him, you just wanted someone to fill the Elvis gap for a bit till something better come along, did you even think about what was gonna happen to his life, or mine? You make me wanna puke.

"You don't know the first thing about how I felt ... or how I feel now ... you just want someone to blame for your marriage falling apart, and that's me ... it wasn't my fault he stopped wanting to be married to you"

"Nah it wasn't and actually I don't blame you at all ... you were just a symptom of what was going on in his nut... his counsellor said you was toxic" Molly shook her head slowly from side to side knowing that wasn't precisely what Margot had said but it suited her purpose, and it wasn't that far away, not really "And I don't actually care how you feel ... just go away and leave me alone ... go and tell someone who gives a shit ... if you can find anybody"

-OG-

"Hello"

"Hey ... this is nice ... you okay?"

"Yeah ... course" Molly swallowed hard and tried hard to stop her voice quivering, she didn't want to sound as though she'd been crying and that the tears were still close to the surface "Just ... if you're not busy 'n that ... will you come and get me?"

"Course I will ... but you don't sound okay ... what's wrong?"

"Why would anything be wrong?"

"No reason ... I just thought ... I'm on my way" He stopped searching through his pockets for his car keys, finding them on the sofa where he'd dumped them when he'd first got home "Where are you?"

"Outside main gate"

"Don't move, I'll be there as quickly as I can"

-OG-

To Charles, she looked tiny and forlorn as she stood a short distance from the gates still wearing her crumpled combats and sipping something out of a travel mug and he knew immediately he set eyes on her that despite what she'd said there was something wrong.

"Hey .."

He stopped the car but left the engine idling as he leaned across and opened the passenger door for her to get in and then sat waiting for her to do up her seat belt and to say something or even look at him and hopefully smile, anything, but she didn't. She just sat there and sipped her tea or whatever was in the mug and stared at the road in front of them.

"Nice mug"

"What?" She seemed to wake up and looked down at the mug in her hand "Oh yeah, sorry about that ..."

"Couldn't matter less ... come on do your seat belt up and then we can get going" She turned to look at him and he reached across and picked up her hand then lifted it to his mouth and kissed across her knuckles one by one without taking his eyes off her "Where _are_ we going by the way ... and are you going to tell me what's up? Come on, you're worrying me now, just tell me, what's wrong?"

"Nothin' ... bit of a shit day that's all"

"Right ... do you want to find somewhere and we can get something to eat and you can tell me all about it" Molly looked down at her crumpled combats and ruefully shook her head. As soon as he'd mentioned food her stomach had begun to remind her that she was starving and was now loudly complaining but she was also scruffy and a bit grubby and looked a like she'd been digging ditches "Lovely ... okay, takeaway it is then ... Pizza ... or ... Indian ... how about Chinese?"

-OG-

 _ **A/N: Thank you for sticking with this and for all the lovely reviews for the last chapter... cannot believe that something that started out as a two-shot is now on chapter 14 ... hope that you enjoyed it ...**_


	15. Chapter 15

_**Justice for Molly**_

 _ **Chapter 15 - Islands in the Stream**_

-OG-

Her heart had skipped a beat when she heard a tinny little female voice coming from his phone and he nodded for her to go in the door in front of him. It was the last thing she wanted, she wanted to hang about near him and see if she could sus out who it was despite the nasty feeling of dread in the pit of her stomach. And she had this feeling that he didn't want her to know as he went off into the kitchen, which increased the horrible suspicion that she knew exactly who it was. Fuck it. She could hardly follow him around without looking like a bloody puppy dog, but there was no doubt in her head that bloody Georgie was going to tell him what she thought she'd seen. Not that Molly could blame her exactly, well she could, but that was because she hated her bloody guts, but if she'd been in Georgie's shoes she'd have done everything she could to get her own back especially if someone told her she was bleeding toxic and to shove off. Little Miss Perfect probably wasn't used to someone saying stuff like that to her, but what the fuck did she expect? Sitting there all bloody smug with that condescending smirk saying stuff about her getting off with Matt and then that Elvis wouldn't have touched her with someone else's bargepole? And that Molly's marriage going down the shitter had got fuck all to do with her, that it was Charles hadn't wanted to be with her anymore and Molly couldn't begin to see why she'd needed to seek her out and tell her all that, unless she wanted to hurt her. Somehow she must of heard that Charles and her were seeing each other and was pissed about it or something, but even if that was it, there was no fucking need for her to ring him quite so quickly. Molly had every intention of telling him herself, but when the time was right not when bloody Lane thought she'd do it for her, there was no way she wanted that smug cow getting in first and telling him her version, she was bound to make it sound a lot worse than it was.

Molly wandered into what used to be her front room and thought how it didn't look like home anymore, it was so tidy with nothing lying around it didn't look like anyone at all was living there. She parked her bum on the edge of the sofa to wait for him and began to stroke her hands backwards and forwards over the cushions, remembering how much she loved the feel of it. She couldn't help remembering how stupidly happy she'd been the day they'd bought it, how she'd thought they were forever that day, had had no clue of what was coming when she'd pestered the bleeding life out of him in that shop, how she'd kept kissing his chin and insisting it was the _one_ she wanted while he'd stood there grinning at her and winding her up. How he'd kept saying they had to look round first until eventually he'd stopped teasing her and admitted he liked it too. The poor salesman had stood there looking anywhere but at them as she'd hugged and kissed him, but the trouble was they'd both got a bit carried away with how nice it was and the deep squashy cushions and neither of them had realised till it was delivered that it was definitely on the big side for the room and that the colour didn't go with the carpet. It was also bleeding uncomfortable to sit on unless you had legs that were ten foot long like his, hers didn't even reach the floor so she had to either lie down or curl up on it or do what she was doing now and perch right on the front edge of the seat. There'd been a whole lot of times when they'd so-called 'christened it' or when she'd laid with her head in his lap watching tele while he played with her hair, but that was then and there was no point in raking over all that now.

She just wished he'd hurry up and get off the pissing phone because it seemed to her to be an age since he'd come and stood in the doorway waving a handful of menus and gesturing for her to take them. He hadn't taken his eyes off her since as he leaned against the frame and listened and she'd thought how still he was, that he never seemed to be in a rush as he listened carefully to whatever was being said and nodded a lot and you'd never have known he wanted whoever it was to hurry up and go, or at least she hoped he did. She could really do with a bit of him rushing right now. He said the odd word like " _Really_?" and _"Right_ " but it was a pretty one-sided conversation and Molly got more and more uncomfortably convinced that it was her on the phone bending his bleeding ear about what she thought she'd seen. She could still hear her horrible voice telling her he'd said he hadn't wanted to be married anymore which was what had made her cry even though it wasn't exactly a surprise, but it hurt to know he'd told her. Still he was the first person she'd thought of calling when Georgie had gone flouncing off leaving Molly wishing she hadn't lied about what Margot had said. She'd loved it at the time when the tell-tale flush had burned it's way up the other girl's face so she knew she'd got to her, but she was a bit bothered that she might be checking it out with him now or might even be going to make an official complaint to someone about a counsellor calling her names.

But he didn't look angry or upset as he stood there listening with his hand stuffed in the pocket of his jeans which made him look all long and lean and very bloody tall. She'd actually forgotten just how tall he was, or at least she hadn't thought about it a lot lately, or how nice he was to look at, how attractive he looked when he ran his fingers through his curls, even though she'd be the first to say that looks mean bugger all. But as he stood there smiling she couldn't help trying to smooth out the worst of the creases in her combats and then ran a hand over her face trying to push the strands of hair back where they belonged. It had been a bit of a stressful day and if it hadn't been for him watching her she'd have had a quick sniff of her armpits to make sure she didn't stink.

"Listen, Becs, I've got to go, there's someone at the door, my food I expect ….. so ... look ... stop worrying about him and I'll have a word ... and tell Sam I'll call at the weekend ... okay? Yep and you ... Bye"

Rebecca. He hadn't been talking to fucking Georgie at all, Rebecca, he'd been talking to bloody Rebecca, and shit he really was getting to be an impressive liar, even she'd almost believed there was someone at the door with his food. Molly giggled, mainly because she was filled with a sense of relief as he threw the phone down on the sofa and exhaled a huge sigh before smirking at her.

"Sorry about that, god that woman can talk ... says she wants me to get Dad sectioned, thinks he's losing the plot ... I really do wish he'd stop winding her up"

"He told me about it when we was there, says she's trying to get him put in a bloody home or something, he's playing games, he thinks she's after the 'ouse"

"Lovely ... and how exactly is she going to manage that? No bloody chance … mind you if he keeps winding her up I'll be the one putting him in a home ... right, now have you decided what we're going to eat?"

"Don't mind ... not fussed"

"That's helpful ..." He sat on the sofa next to her, plucked the bunch of menus from her lap and began to shuffle through them, then waved one in front of her face "Come on Dawsey concentrate ... or I might order Sushi ..."

"Don't call me that"

She said it out of pure habit because she wasn't really thinking about what her mouth was saying. Every instinct was telling her to lean back against him and then she wouldn't be able to see the expression on his face when she told him about her day and what had gone on, but then registered what he'd actually said.

"And if you do you'll be eating it on your own" She shuddered "Anyway do they do take-away? Wouldn't of thought there was enough people stupid enough to wanna eat slimy raw fish … without chips"

"Why not? It's your name and you don't know what you're missing..."

"Yeah I do ... we 'ad some once, remember? All very pretty 'n that … but it was raw and slimy … like snot …. urghhh"

"Lovely …"

He gave a shout of laughter and then suddenly wasn't laughing anymore as he picked up her hand and wrapped his own round it. Entwining her fingers with his he stroked across her knuckles with his thumb.

"Are you going to tell me what made you so upset?"

"Thought we was talking about getting something to eat"

She shook her head, reluctant to say anything about her crappy day. It felt like opening a huge can of worms because he was bound to get shitty about her and Matt, even though there was nothing for him to get shitty about, but he just was, she knew that, it was what he did.

"Nothin' really … just .. get a bit fed up sometimes ….had a job 'n a proper home ... _husband_ " She raised her eyebrows and tried to laugh "Even a bleeding sofa ..'n I thought I'd 'ave kids one day .. had to grow up a bit first obviously …. and then I'd get a dog ... and sometimes starting all over again feels a bit crap"

"You weren't the one who had to grow up, Molly, that was me ..." Somehow she'd ended up with his arms holding her tightly against him with her head on his chest. She could hear his heart hammering away nineteen to the dozen as though someone was bashing on the door as he kissed her neck "Fuck ... this is killing me Moll"

"Ditto"

She hadn't intended for anything to happen, she didn't know what she'd intended or what she was even doing there but suddenly it made sense to reach up and cover his mouth with her fingertips and then pull his head down to hers with her other hand. And to kiss him.

"What are you doing?"

"Kissin' you?"

He shook his head and found the pins holding her plait, loosening it then running his hands through her hair before he shook it out and began to paddle the fleshy tips of his fingers against her scalp as she nibbled at his bottom lip. She pulled his pelvis into hers with a leg curved up around his waist and began to tug at his belt buckle making him groan as she eventually managed to get it undone enough to wriggle her hand inside his jeans and touch him, slapping his hand away when he tried to help. The next minute they were pulling desperately at one another's clothes in a sudden tearing hurry to be skin to skin.

"Careful what you're doing with that" He gasped and closed his eyes as her hand closed round him and then groaned again when she stopped moving to look down at the sensible bra and big knickers she had on. Nan had bought them for her, or acquired them from somewhere so she knew they were almost certainly moody as fuck but were very definitely not in the least bit sexy.

"Sorry about the ..." Molly looked down at her herself and waved a hand vaguely in the direction of her nun-like underwear, suddenly sorry she wasn't wearing anything that was at least a bit lacy or silky or something. She'd got a load of that sort of stuff, well, some anyway and still had some he'd bought her once, a lifetime ago. She just wasn't wearing any of it.

"What, you think I care what bra you've got on? It's not as if it's staying on is it?"

His laugh was slightly husky as he fiddled with the clasp and pulled it off and then bent his head to dot tiny kisses across her collar bones, looking up at her the whole time from under his brows until he closed his eyes and began to kiss her. He spent a lot of time deliberately driving her mad by building her anticipation and then teasing, kissing round her nipples without actually touching them despite the way she was arching her body up towards his mouth and tangling her hands in his hair pulling his head down.

"Stop bloody teasin"

"I'm not ... I'm just … you are so incredibly fucking beautiful" He resumed kissing a trail down her body as she giggled and tried to twist away from where the stubble on his chin was tickling, complaining that she was going to end up with stubble rash on her tits.

"Do you want me to stop?"

"Nah ... just sayin' that's all"

"If I'd known I'd have had a shave ... I could go and have one now if you like?"

"Nah"

He put his head back and shouted with laughter at the adamant tone of her voice before he hooked his thumbs in the sides of the offending knickers and slid them down until she could kick her legs free. She immediately wound her legs round his hips and began to grind slowly and very deliberately against his erection and was rewarded with another groan in the back of his throat "God, I love you"

"Do you?"

"What do you think? Of course I do" He lifted himself up and supported himself on his elbows so he could look at her face "There's no question about it"

"I s'pose"

"And there's no suppose about it either"

There was so much familiarity that he couldn't separate the way he used to feel about her from the way he wanted her now, all the feelings were a knot in his chest that he couldn't begin to untangle. Margot had told him how he had to stop burying things he didn't understand because it was that that had led to him risking everything he'd had in his life, including Molly. Only now was he beginning to hope there was some chance of getting that life back, but this wasn't the way he'd have chosen. There was no question of him lasting long enough for multiple orgasms and even controlling the desperate need he had to feel her wrapped round him was a damn sight harder than he could possibly have imagined. He felt like a bloody teenager with all the self control issues that implied, and he wasn't sure he could actually move because if he wasn't very careful it was all going to be over before it started.

"I don't know how long I can ... "

"Yeah you can ... well you'd be'er.. " She grinned up at him but there was a fierce determination on her face "Not without me you don't"

"Well, don't move then ... you, my darling are going to have to wait out for a bit" He grinned back at her and gritted his teeth "I'm doing my best here, I'm reciting the bible backwards"

"Really? Is it working?"

"Nope"

Their burst of shared laughter went a long way towards helping him get some degree of control over his desperate urge to just bury himself as deep as he could and let the pleasure he could feel tightening his balls roll over him.

"Look at me … open your eyes and look at me"

"Stop messing"

"I'm not …."

"Yeah you are …. just shut up talking and do that again ..."

"What …. that?"

And then there was no more teasing or laughing, there was just sensation and being lost in the moment until she tightened her muscles and clung to him with everything she had. Her shudders gave him the permission he needed to stop trying desperately to wait out and to move harder and faster and deeper until pleasure overwhelmed him as well. He was left light-headed and found it difficult to catch his breath as he buried his head in the dampness of her neck and waited for his heart rate to slow down to something approaching normal. He gave an involuntary shiver as Molly lightly ran her hands over his back. She was barely touching his skin as she traced his muscles in a way that left a trail of goosebumps when suddenly she giggled as her stomach gave a loud growl of hunger.

"Oops"

He lifted his head and grinned then kissed the tip of her nose, before kissing her lips lightly and laughing out loud when her stomach rumbled again.

"Bloody hell, better feed you before you waste away" He tried to roll from on top of her without falling on the floor "Pizza?"

"Toast ... and tea"

" _Toast?_ "

"Yeah ... with marmite if we got any..."

Charles heard the word 'we' with a degree of euphoria, even though he couldn't swear that it wasn't a slip of the tongue or if he was actually reading more into it than she'd intended, but he couldn't help the hope that she'd meant they were a couple again.

"Yep, pretty sure there is some … tell you what, you go on up and get into bed, and I'll do room service … toast and marmite ... we can have a picnic in bed"

"You're shit at picnics ..."

"I know …. but not even I can balls up toast and marmite" Charles laughed and took a deep breath, then smoothed her hair back behind her ears "Come home sweetheart ... please …. come back to me" There was a profound and prolonged silence as she appeared to be thinking about her answer and he cursed himself for saying more than he'd meant to. He'd told himself he wouldn't keep asking, that she would get sick of it if he did.

"Looks like I already did, dunnit?"

"What? Do you mean that?"

Molly nodded, suddenly shy about making a big dramatic declaration of love, something she wasn't entirely sure she was ready to do "But ... you know I can't stay ... don't you?"

"What do you mean, you can't stay? We promised there'd be no more sodding off afterwards"

"Nah, that's not it, I gotta get back ... got work in the morning 'n I can't be late or throw a sickie, Matt's already well pissed at me"

"I won't let you be late ... why is Geddings pissed at you? What have you done?"

He picked up a lock of her hair and started twirling it round his finger into a ringlet. What he really wanted was to shout and pick her up and swing her round, and go and get her rings and put them back on her finger and do the whole celebration thing, but she appeared to be very low-key which made him reluctant to push it.

"I think I make you right about him, he's not very 'appy about … about you and me ...he got a bit narky ... and then …. well, he sort of hugged me … it was nothin' … nothin' happened"

"What do you mean, he hugged you?"

"It wasn't how it sounds … he just put his arm round … look, maybe you're right and he likes me but I'm not interested in 'im, and he knows that … " She prodded him with her finger as the doorbell rang persistently "Who's that?"

"I have no idea ... fuck ... I was hoping if I ignored it they'd go away ..."

"Might be important ….… but you'd best put something on before you open it or you'll get arrested"

"Funny ..." He kissed the tip of her nose and heaved a deep sigh and suddenly Matt didn't matter anymore. She was here with him and he wanted to throw his head back and laugh at how unbelievably happy he was as he rolled off the sofa and found his jeans, but settled instead for leaning across and kissing her again "This is important, so don't bloody go anywhere"

-OG-

"Fuck …what are you doing here?"

"Hello Charlie, can I come in?"

She didn't wait for a reply just stepped through the door and waited for him to let her go past into the house, outwardly confident of her welcome.

"Sorry ... of course"

He stepped back to let her pass and flinched away when she put her hand casually on his arm, then hoped she hadn't noticed. He was uncomfortably conscious of being only half dressed, of not having a shirt or socks on and that the top button of his jeans was undone.

There were times when the manners ingrained in him when he was a child were a curse and this was definitely one of them. He didn't want her to come in, it was the last thing he wanted, he wanted her to disappear before Molly registered who was at the door. The timing of this visit could hardly be any worse. He wasn't even sure Molly would believe it was the first time she'd turned up here, but it was, and in fact he hadn't realised she even knew where he lived. He'd got no idea what she wanted and he didn't care, he just wanted her gone.

"What is it, what can I actually do for you Lane? I mean, it's really not very appropriate you being here is it?"

"What's all this 'Lane' stuff, Charlie? What happened to Georgie? I thought we were past all that formal shit a long time ago?"

"Just tell me what it is you want?" He wanted her to say what she was there for and go "And it's Charles not Charlie, that was just Elvis … " He swallowed hard "He was the only one …. "

He gave an anxious glance over his shoulder when he realised he couldn't remember shutting the door behind him, which he hadn't. But in the circumstances it might be better that way, he didn't want it to look as if he was being deliberately secretive, or that he'd lied about an on-going relationship with her. It didn't stop his heart sinking at the thought that Molly could hear every word.

"That's not very friendly is it? I know we haven't exactly seen a lot of each other recently, but we're still good friends aren't we? I mean, I hoped … well I need some help and I wondered if you could perhaps ... it's really tough for me at the moment and I thought that you'd understand and could maybe put a word in for me …"

"I'm sorry but I'm not sure there's anything I can do ..." He ran his hand over the back of his neck "You know I can't get involved" He paused "I really can't, and I'm sorry things are tough but I very much doubt there'd be much point in me saying anything … I'm sorry"

Molly had begun scrabbling around getting dressed as soon as she heard her horrible voice, there was no way she was going to get caught in her bra and knickers if that bitch came in. She bundled up his boxers and socks and shoved them out of sight under a cushion and then put her bra and combats with them as she changed her mind and put his shirt on instead. She kept her knickers on, there was no way she was going to come face to face with Lane without them.

"What you doing 'ere?"

She could hear the truculent tone in her voice anfd was rewarded by the total shock on Lane's face when she caught sight of her in the doorway wearing his half unbuttoned shirt and with her hair all over the place. It wouldn't have taken a genius detective to work out that she'd interrupted something or that they'd just had sex.

"Molly … I wasn't expecting to see you here …. I mean, I didn't know you were … I thought …"

"Yeah well … there's a whole lot of things you don't know and a whole lot of things you're wrong about 'n all"

Molly moved and stood next to Charles and hooked her fingers in the back of his jeans as he looked slightly surprised and then gave her a little warning shake of his head. She totally ignored him as his eyebrows almost disappeared into his hairline.

"So, come on then, you gonna tell me what you're doing 'ere and what's going on?"

-OG-

 _ **A/N: Sorry about the delay in updating, blame me …. I had a house guest for what felt like forever, so when I wasn't cooking, I was clearing up … and then cooking again … thank you to everyone who reviewed chapter14 and for all your kind words … we hope that you enjoyed this and promise we'll do our best to be a lot quicker with the next update.**_


	16. Chapter 16

Justice for Molly

Chapter 16 – Help Me Hold on

Help me hold on to what we had

Once our love was strong it can be again

You said it takes two to make love last

You were right all along so help me hold on

OG-

She knew she was making a huge mistake but by the time she realised just how much of a mistake it was it was far too late to do anything about it. It was all her own fault, if she hadn't let her anger get the better of her she would never have been stupid enough to think it was a good idea to hop in the car and drive over and tell him face to face, and she wouldn't now be standing there feeling awkward and unwelcome. She'd thought he was bound to invite her in and ask her to stay and have a drink with him, a reminder of happier times, although any good memories they had in common included Elvis and she was trying hard not to think about him so much these days. But she couldn't help wishing now that she'd slept on it, had thought it through so that all that careful planning of how to steer the conversation round to where she wanted wouldn't have been such a monumental waste of time and energy. The very last person she'd expected or wanted to see with him had just crawled out of the woodwork. Molly, the girl he'd sworn was his ex, the girl who'd had the unmitigated nerve to lecture her about her behaviour as a medic when in fact she was messing about with her own boss. Oh she'd denied it, but Georgie hadn't believed her denials for a single second. She'd been convinced in her own mind that it was a case of history repeating itself and when she'd walked out of the Mess Hall she'd been filled with a self righteous fury, a simmering anger that had led to her being in the situation she was in now.

There'd been the odd rumour of course, people seemed to enjoy filling her in on snippets of gossip about him, but she hadn't taken that much notice of the latest, had just dismissed it as yet another baseless rumour. It was impossible to believe there was even a grain of truth in it because he'd said the relationship was over, that it was dead in the water, and that he'd never go back after he'd thrown it all away to be with her. And it was only a matter of weeks since Molly had vehemently denied there was even the slightest chance of them getting back together, but somehow the rumours had unsettled her. Her own life had become a total desert while his was looking as though he was surviving quite nicely which struck her as completely unfair, she was bored and lonely and even the job she'd always loved, the one she'd prided herself on being outstandingly good at, was doing nothing to help her re-build the self-esteem that had ended up in the toilet after Bangladesh. She was sick of being treated as though she was within a hair's breadth of being put on a charge all the time and had been clinging to the comforting thought that she could always re-kindle things with him if that was what she wanted. It didn't matter that he wasn't Elvis, it wasn't ideal of course, but she was never going to be able to replicate what she'd had with him, and although Charlie had never been the love of her life or anything, he was there and they'd been alright together. Stupidly as it turned out she'd thought that would be enough. But she didn't need to have it spelt out for her exactly what it was she'd interrupted, the girl who'd talked to her as if she was a raw recruit was standing there with her hair all over the place and wearing his shirt with a self-satisfied look on her face that Georgie immediately decided she was not going to notice. There was no way she was going to let it show how rattled she was, she was not going to come off second best to Molly Dawes again. There was no way she was going to run away with her tail between her legs. Not this time, she'd done that once too often as it was.

-OG-

"You gonna tell me what's she's doing 'ere?"

Molly adopted the look of wide-eyed innocence that she'd perfected over the years as she looked at Georgie and then pointedly turned to look at him, and raised her eyebrows when she saw the way he was catching the corner of his lip in his top teeth.

"Charles?" She filled the strained silence as it began to become even more acutely uncomfortable "Georgie? ... come on ... someone ... one of you tell me ... I mean, what we all standing 'ere waitin' for?"

"Nothing ... there's nothing to be concerned about ... I've just popped in to see if Charlie can help me out with something, but it's just work, nothing to get stressed about"

"Work? At this time of night ... blimey you're keen" Molly shook her head and hoped she sounded as disbelievingly sceptical as she felt "Might be wrong but I thought I heard him say he couldn't help, so why you still here?"

" _Molly_..."

There was a definite sharp note of warning in the tone of his voice which she ignored. She was resisting the temptation to glare at him which she definitely would have done if it hadn't been for Lane standing there. Molly knew only too well that she was being rude and inhospitable and all the other things he hated, but that was because that was how she intended to sound, she had no intention of being polite when she'd had more than a basinful of Georgie bloody Lane for one day. Given a straight choice she would have wiped the look off her face with a good hard slap or maybe pulled her hair out for her for good measure. But she could hear Nan's voice in her head saying about rolling her in a carpet and lobbing her onto the M25 and how she had to be sure before she did anything like that that it was worth getting done for assault. What she really wanted to ask was what made Georgie think anyone with half a brain would believe it was just coincidence her pitching up here after what happened earlier.

"I haven't come here to say anything to him if that's what's worrying you ..."

"Worrying me? Why would anything be worrying me? Oh .. yeah ... _that_..." Molly tried to make it sound as though the thought had only just occurred to her "I did tell you didn't I that you'd got that all wrong? ... still ne'er mind, you go for it mate ... fill your boots..."

"What I'd like is for someone to tell me what the fuck is going on here ... Moll?"

"She come here to tell you ... stuff .. but she's a bit late cos you already know" Molly was enjoying the fact that it was her turn to have a smug smile on her face, she'd never been more pleased in her life that she'd already told somebody something "She says it isn't why she's here, but I reckon she's lying"

" _Molly_ "

There was the same warning frown on his face which was just beginning to piss her off, but she was not going to give Georgie the satisfaction of seeing them argue over her.

"No of course I'm not, why on earth would I want to do that? I don't care what you do ... or who you do it with ... I came here to ask Charlie to do me a favour, I need his help with something"

"Just coincidence then? You urgently needing his help tonight, is that what you're telling me? Right ... yeah, course it is" Molly sniggered "And his name's not Charlie, it's Charles ... thought you'd been told that once tonight already ... are you deaf or some'ing or is it that you only hear what you wanna hear?"

"Molly ..." Charles was beginning to sound frustrated as he glanced at her "Look, I don't know what the fuck is going on here and I'm not sure I particularly want to ... but I've already explained that I can't do anything to help ..." He shook his head slowly from side to side as he at Georgie, suddenly uncomfortable about what to call her. He opted for Lane as though he was still her CO "Look ... Lane ... all I can suggest is ... if you want to get your boss off your back and make life easier for yourself then you've got to knuckle down and follow his bloody orders ..." He paused and ran a hand over the back of his neck knowing it was partly his fault that she behaved the way she did, that he really hadn't done her any favours when he'd let her get away with it for so long "To the letter, and whatever you do, don't argue with him or tell him you think you know better" He gave another sideways glance at Molly as she sniggered loudly "Just keep your head down and get on with it and I'm sure things will get better in time ... but there really is nothing I can do to help"

"It's not that you _can't_ help though is it Charlie?... What you're saying is that you don't want to help me ... and you're saying that because she's here"

"Nope ... I'm saying it because it would be very inappropriate for me to try and interfere ... I thought I'd already explained that ... and anyway it wouldn't do anything to help, it might even make things worse"

He turned to open the front door, annoyed that she'd just called him Charlie. He knew he was being somewhat irrational, after all she'd been calling him Charlie for years but he was annoyed that she'd chosen to ignore him once again when he'd told her to stop doing something, or maybe because Molly had drawn attention to it and it was exactly the sort of thing he'd been talking about, but he had no intention of making an issue of it now, he just wanted her to go. He was more than slightly apprehensive about the way Molly was reacting and his focus was on getting back to the two of them being alone.

"So, unless there was something else ..." He paused and waited for a second, then held the door open giving her very little choice but to go through it "Molly and I were just about to eat"

-OG-

"She make a habit of that, does she?"

"Habit of what?"

"Poppin' round 'n asking for a favour?"

"No of course not ... why would she? She's never been here before"

Molly was pretending to be busy checking the bread for mould before putting it in the toaster but was actually doing anything she could to avoid looking at him. She wasn't a bit sure how she felt about any of what had just happened.

"Moll ... can you stop that for a minute and look at me ... I want to know what the fuck all that was about?"

"All what?"

"Molly ... " He put both hands on the kitchen table and leaned forward but found himself looking at the top of her head, she was still resolutely refusing to look at him "I want to know ..." He stopped and took a deep breath "Come on, let's have it ... what the fuck was going on between the two of you, I had no fucking clue what it was all about"

"Don't think we're ever gonna be mates again, can't see it somehow" Molly shrugged.

"Nope ... and that's it? No ... come on, tell me ... please"

"It took me a long, long time to get me life back after I left ... 'n I left cos I couldn't take no more of it, I fucking loved you ... you know ... and I didn't know how to turn that off, how to stop ..." She was still refusing to look at him "I don't want to go back to that Charles ... how can you expect me to forget if she keeps popping up like that? She'll be after a cup of sugar next"

"No she won't ..."

"You sure 'bout that?" She heard him give an impatient little huff and raised her eyes to look at him "Look, it don't matter what she said, she bloody did come 'ere to tell you about Matt and me ... and him giving me a hug"

"Why the fuck would she do that?"

"I dunno ... maybe cos she's a cow ...?"

"Okaaay ..." He was obviously trying to choose his words with care as he went on "I'm not sure why you think she'd go to all that trouble, why the fuck would she bother?"

"Dunno ... you tell me"

"Oh Moll, I really don't know" He paused and ran a hand over his face "Look, I can't say we don't have history, I only wish I could ... you've got no idea how much I ... how much I regret it but it's in the past Molly, so why would she want to come all the way over here to tell me something like that"

"Come on you're not that stupid ... think about it ... after she saw ... what she saw ... which was nothing by the way ... she searched all over for me so she could tell me how great it was me getting with him ... and then when I told her there was no _me and him_ , she told me a whole load of stuff to make me feel shit about you and me ... it seemed like she wanted to make sure I was still pissed at you ..."

"Why the fuck would she do that?"

"I dunno ... think about it"

"And ... is that why you called me this afternoon?" He gulped and swallowed hard as the realisation hit him "Is that what this was all about ... ? " He waved his hand indicating the two of them "Come on, you can be honest, are you saying she upset you and that was why you were here ... tell me ... did you say you were coming back to me because of something she said?"

"Nah ... course not .. I said I was coming back because that's what I want ... but it might be a little bit of why I called you ... but not the rest, never the rest, what she said really hurt 'n I wanted to see you, she told me why you and her ... did what you did ... and then she said all this stuff about how I'd never 'ave been good enough for Elvis, not that I cared about that, I never wanted him ...but still ... what she said made me feel shit ... so it made me cry"

Molly decided that she would probably feel better if she got dressed because standing there wearing almost nothing made her feel at a definite disadvantage. She no longer felt sexy, she just felt chilly and under dressed and a bit stupid standing there in the kitchen dressed like a stripper because the whole atmosphere between them had changed yet again.

"Where are you going?"

"Get me clothes"

"No you're not, you're not going anywhere ... " He ran his hand over the back of his neck "You don't have to prove anything to her ... I know I said things back then that I'll always regret, things I'll never be proud of ... I was a complete shit, and I wish that none of it had ever happened"

"I know you do and I wish it hadn't happened 'n all, but it did, and she wants to 'urt me because she's a bit all over the shop, things for her are obviously a bit shit at the moment .. and she's ... I dunno, fed up I s'pose"

" _Fed up_? What sort of reason is that? Sorry, I still don't see why that would make her want to hurt you"

"I dunno either... but seems like she just does, okay?" Molly looked at the expression of doubt on his face "I do want us to sort things ... I mean none of this means I don't love you or that I don't wanna be with you, it's just ... I can't see how I'm meant to put it all behind me if she's gonna be around all the time _..._ how am I meant to forget?" Molly shrugged, unsure what to say next to wipe the unhappy expression off his face without bending the truth. It was in complete contrast to the look that had been on his face before he'd opened that door.

"What would you like me to do?"

Molly thought for a second "You could tell her to fuck off and that you want her to leave you alone. You could tell her you 'ate her"

"I don't, I don't hate her Molly"

"I do"

"I know you do ... but when I look at her I don't actually feel anything at all, except perhaps guilt, I don't even think about Elvis anymore when I see her, but ... it wasn't her fault, it was mine"

"Yeah I know that, you told me"

"I'm pretty sure she's already got the message that you don't exactly love her"

"You think?"

"I know ... and I doubt if she's ever going to turn up here again, she's not that stupid ... but how about ... if she ever does, which she won't, you go to the door and send her away with a flea in her ear? What do you think?" He put a hand across and tucked her tangled hair behind her ear "And how about we forget she was ever here and you give me a kiss and go on up and I'll do the toast ..." He laughed "It helps a lot if you actually turn the toaster on"

"Smartarse ... okay ... but just as long as you don't expect me to like her, alright? I'm not 'aving her round for tea"

"I know"

She leaned across and brushed her lips against his as he pulled her round the table towards him so that she was standing in his space with her feet between his.

"Call that a kiss? Come on, you can do better than that"

Before she knew what was happening his lips had slammed onto hers and he was covering her mouth with a hot hungry kiss, kissing her with an urgency that made her wrap her arm round the back of his head and slide her fingers into his hair. She tugged at his curls tightly and pulled his head to hers then ran her tongue over his lips, tracing them and caressing them as his breathing quickened and he groaned.

"What ... like that?"

"Oh yep, exactly like that"

Suddenly her feet were no longer in contact with the floor as he lifted her up against him and she wound her legs round his waist. He stopped kissing her so that he could lean away to look at her.

"What you doing? Don't stop"

"If I keep kissing you I can't look at you and I want to look at you"

"Don't be daft .."

"I'm not... I've really missed just looking at my wife .. who by the way doesn't look a day older than the first time I ever saw her and is even more beautiful now than she was then"

"Soppy bugger.."

Charles laughed softly and bent his head to kiss her again, the kiss getting harder and deeper and more and more frantic until suddenly the sound of toast popping out of the toaster made them both jump so that he almost dropped her as they sprang apart.

"Careful"

"Sorry ... that made me jump"

"Yeah, me 'n all ... where's the marmite?"

"Fuck the marmite"

"I gotta keep me strength up" Molly laughed and put a hand up and stroked his face.

"That sounds promising"

-OG-

For some reason the bedroom seemed an unfamiliar space to her as she started to walk round the room and run her hands over the tops of things which was ridiculous, it was where she'd slept for fuck sake, the bed she slept in with him, where she'd made love to him, and where she'd had some of the happiest times she could remember, and some of the worst. It was where she'd cried alone for hours, missing him badly when she could feel him start to slip away from her and then when they were over where she'd broken her heart. And where she'd got bloody angry with him.

Everything in the room was military neat, almost as if he had a bloody ruler with him when he made the bed to make sure that everything was perfectly exact. There wasn't a thing lying around on anything, not even a pair of socks and certainly not the clutter she used to spread about. There was just a framed photo of her and Sam on the bedside table, and one of the two of them on their wedding day, nothing else.

Molly could smell toast as she sat on the edge of the bed waiting for him, and she could hear him singing at the top of his voice downstairs, something he used to do all the time when they were first lived here together and had been so happy but which she hadn't heard him do for ages before they'd split. All she hoped was that she was doing the right thing.

-OG-

 _ **A/N: Thank you to everyone who is still with us and for the reviews and the feedback for Chapter 15 which meant the world to us and it goes without saying that we hope you will enjoy this chapter. And a huge thank you also to CJM Follower for the suggestion of the Travis Tritt song which provided the title for this chapter ... if you don't know it, check out the lyrics which couldn't be more appropriate.**_


	17. Chapter 17

_**Justice for Molly**_

 _ **Chapter 17 – Yesterday is Gone, but Tomorrow is Forever**_

-OG-

Molly couldn't help looking over her shoulder and doing a rapid scan of the car park even though she knew it would make her look shifty if there was anyone watching them. Actually she had no idea who could possibly be about at that time of the morning, Charles hadn't been kidding when he said he'd get her back in time for work, it was barely bloody light and pissing down so that the car park was dark and gloomy and covered in puddles meaning anyone with any sense would still be tucked up fast asleep in their pit. She was going to have to make sure she didn't go anywhere near hers when she got in or she'd be asleep before you could say 'Jack Robinson' as Nan would say, whoever he was. She'd be asleep before the springs hit the floor.

"You okay?"

"Yeah" Molly yawned widely enough to make her jaw click and her eyes water "Just a bit knackered"

"Early night for you tonight then"

"Very funny ..."

"What _are_ you suggesting Mrs James?" He looked at her and smirked.

"Nothin' .. but you know it sort of sounds a bit odd when you say that ... s'pose it's cos I've got used to being Dawes again"

"Well you're going to have to get used to James again now"

He slung his arm round her shoulder and looked down at her face, before pulling her into his side and bending down to kiss her on the tip of her nose without breaking his stride as she took another quick look around the car park. She couldn't help being slightly peeved that he didn't have the decency to look even the tiniest bit tired, he was bouncing along all bright eyed and bushy tailed and full of life even though neither of them had had what you might call a decent night's sleep the night before. They'd had virtually none at all. And he still had the same beaming smile on his face that seemed to have taken root since they'd gone up to bed the night before, it was the first thing she'd seen when he'd shaken her awake in what felt like the middle of the night, it had honestly felt as if she'd only just shut her eyes which were now all gritty and sore from being so tired. In fact Molly didn't think he'd actually stopped smiling once since they'd shared a hug and a kiss in the kitchen after whatsherface had pissed off home, a smile that made the corners of her mouth want to twitch up in this urge to smile back at him. He looked happy in a way she'd totally forgotten. When everything in their marriage had gone so horribly wrong she'd buried her memories of that smile and of the way his face used to light up when he was happy to see her and how that used to make her feel and it had been all too easy for it to get lost in the shit storm that had been the end of things.

Looking at him now, it would be easy to think that all his problems were all over with, _gone,_ done and dusted but she knew in her heart that however much she wished it was like that, it was never going to be that easy. The horrible injuries that he'd come home with might be well hidden and it wasn't like when he had a limp and she'd told him it was cute, but they were still injuries although no-one looking at him now would be able to see there was anything wrong at all. He looked clean and bright eyed and fresh as a bloody daisy, the Charles she'd always known, but inside she knew he was still hurting. And she knew she looked incredibly none of those things. She was _crumpled,_ a night stuffed under a cushion hadn't done a lot for the state of her combats and despite having a shower she felt _grubby_ from wearing the same knickers as the day before. Washing her hair and then not having any conditioner meant it was screaming 'night on the tiles' to anyone who cared to look, any insomniac that might be monitoring who was just getting home at that time of the morning. And sometime in the night she seemed to have pulled a muscle somewhere deep in her groin which was really hurting and was getting worse with every step she took, so she was only grateful there was no bloody P.T. session or run scheduled for that morning. If there had been she'd have been hobbling along bent double with her hand holding where it hurt and she wasn't sure she wanted to explain it to Matt or to anyone else either. Telling everyone why she was moving like a geriatric would have been more than a bit difficult when it was a result of using muscles she hadn't used in a long time, and using them a lot.

They hadn't got around to eating the picnic, somehow it had got forgotten when he'd come up and seen her sitting in their bed hugging her knees. He'd taken one look and had dumped the tray to get into the bed with her still wearing his jeans. His happiness was almost like a bubble you could see round him as he kissed her over and over and she hadn't realised there'd been all this tension inside her stopping her from even breathing properly. It was only when she relaxed and really breathed out that she recognised there was this tense feeling in her guts, a tightness that had become so much a part of her that she didn't even notice it anymore, it had become her normal.

"Go and make me some more ... go on, you know you want to" Molly pouted and leaned over to drop a kiss on his forearm "I'm starvin'"

It had been a long time before they'd got around to remembering the picnic and by that time the toast was cold and limp and soggy with marmite soaked in just the way she hated it and her tea was stone cold with an unappetising film on the top.

"How can I possibly refuse when someone so beautiful asks so nicely?"

She managed to bite her tongue before she said anything that was going to sound like she was having a bit of a pop at him. She'd been about to say something stupid about how many girls asked him for things afterwards but had stopped herself in time, there were all these no-go areas which meant she was going to have to watch what came out of her gob if she didn't want to sound like she was being shitty.

He kissed her mouth as she wrinkled her nose instead and batted her eyelashes at him in the way that always used to make him laugh.

"Well, seeing as how you're so kindly offerin' ... I'd love another cuppa ... and some more toast ... cos I never got any of that lot"

"Offering? Was that was I was doing? And there's no marmite left I'm afraid"

"Oh bugger, what 'ave we got then? Coco-pops?" She raised her eyebrows hopefully and giggled, knowing there was no chance of them being on offer "How long is this being nice to me shit gonna last? A rough guess'll do"

Charles smirked and put his head back to laugh aloud "I'm not sure I know what you mean, I'm always nice ..."

-OG-

The bitter smell of his coffee brought back a whole load of memories of other times that they'd sat side by side in the same bed in the same sort of contented companionable silence. They were not ignoring one another, but were not really saying much either as they sipped their drinks and ate hot buttered toast with a good six inch gap between their respective thighs in a sort of aura of cosy domesticity. She'd been expecting the raw passion, and there had been plenty of that, his lips had been hot and hungry on hers and then on her body in the same way that hers had been on his and afterwards they'd carried on touching and stroking one another, unable to keep their hands off each other but she hadn't been expecting the comfortable familiarity of just _being_ together. She'd thought it was going to be hard not to go back and stir up memories that had broken her heart, things that had changed her world, but in fact those bits stayed relatively untouched and instead she'd managed to stay with the nice bits and to put a plaster over the hurt.

"Hey, close your eyes"

Charles had been rooting around in his bedside drawer trying to find something without getting out of bed to look properly, and now shook his head as she narrowed her eyes and looked at him doubtfully.

"What for?"

"God woman, don't be so suspicious, just do it ... close your eyes"

As soon as they were closed he leaned over and picked up her hand, drawing it up to his face to kiss the knuckle of her ring finger, so that she knew exactly what he was going to do next before he even started to slide her rings on her finger. Her eyes flew open immediately but she managed to swallow the word "No" that had jumped onto the tip of her tongue. She wasn't sure she was ready for anything like that, not when there were still these voices asking her if she was sure about what she was doing, she could hear Margot saying 'only when you're completely sure' and Meg telling her no-one could expect her to forgive and forget that easily. And even though she was back and had been telling herself that everything was going to be like before she could still hear this bit of her that was asking questions. A bit that was afraid she wasn't sure she trusted him. She wanted to, was desperate to but had found herself watching him like a bloody hawk when he'd been looking at Georgie. She'd been trying to analyse every little fleeting expression she'd glimpsed or thought she glimpsed on his face, and on Lane's as well when she looked back at him. Molly had found herself looking for _signs._ Had wanted to be sure he didn't still think of her like that when they were face to face and the hard thing was to not imagine things, to not read stuff that wasn't there. Even while she was doing it she could hear Nan's voice in her head telling her not to be so fucking stupid, that if you look hard enough you can always find something. But the thought of how he'd feel if she told him all that now, if she told him she wasn't ready, the thought of how much it would hurt him kept her mouth shut as she picked up his ring from the palm of his hand and slipped it onto his finger.

"Good job I never 'ad them with me when I burnt me wedding dress ... they'd have been at the bottom of the Thames now"

"When you did what?"

"Me and Bella ... oh and a bottle of Vodka behind the flats at home, we had this little bonfire ... a little cremation"

"I thought you hadn't told your family ..."

"I didn't .. I 'aven't, but me 'n Bella was a tiny bit hammered at the time 'n she just helped me a bit when I told her you and me was history ... didn't tell her what had happened, although I think she kept asking, anyway not sure she'd of remembered, she was worse than me. I 'ad to almost carry her 'ome which was hard seeing as how I was finding it a little bit tricky to walk"

"Oh Moll, I'm so sorry, it was a beautiful dress and you looked gorgeous in it ... I'll buy you another one"

"Nah thanks ... it's alright ... really it is" Molly felt a pang of nostalgia for the "Pride and Prejudice" knock-off with all the beads on the bodice that she'd loved so much but which had seemed like a symbol of something at the time she'd carried it out to the yard behind the flats where the dustbins were and set it alight "It was a bit of a stupid thing to do actually ... the beads on it was popping off all over the place like bullets, I think they might 'ave been some sort of plastic so they was sort of burning 'n melting and it was a bit dangerous" She snorted a short laugh "Was a tiny bit hard to avoid getting hit when you're pissed as we were"

"Oh god it's getting worse ... look, next weekend, what shall we do, what can I do to make up for it?" He picked up a lock of her hair and wound it round her finger "I know it's not the right day exactly but I don't suppose you can get the day off on Thursday"

"Not really ..." Molly tried and failed to imagine asking Matt if she could have the day off for her anniversary "I dunno ... stop in bed maybe ... you can wait on me hand and foot ... or I dunno, we could go and 'ave lunch somewhere posh ... you choose"

"How about... the Bailbrook for dinner and we can stay the night?"

"Yeah ...that'd be good" Molly smirked, remembering the few times they'd eaten there, and especially their first date when she'd realised that he really did have feelings for her, that it wasn't her having a one-sided crush on him "But Meg will be well pissed at us if we go to Bath and don't stop with her and your dad"

"I won't tell her if you don't"

-OG-

"Right ... outside here, straight after you finish, and we'll collect some of your stuff and go home ... and don't look so worried, no-one's going to eat you"

"I know, just not looking forward to ... don't matter ... go and have fun with Margot ... you gonna tell her about us?"

"I was going to, but not if you don't want me to, it's up to you ... I want to tell everyone" He paused and looked down at her, a worried frown replacing the grin on his face "It's not a secret is it?"

"Nah it's not a secret, it's just ... s'pose I feel like I wanna get used to it meself before everyone knows ... but you can tell her if you want ... see you later" Molly pecked him on the cheek and turned to go in, she didn't want to talk about it anymore for some reason, and then turned round at the last minute to call after him as he began to run towards the car when the rain got heavier and was beginning to lash down on him "And go shopping, there's no bloody food in the house"

She was rewarded by him turning round and grinning at her while still running backwards towards the car "All things chocolate I presume" shaking his head and laughing as she nodded vigorously.

-OG-

"Late night?"

He'd come in and caught her mid-yawn, something she'd been struggling to stop all morning, and which was made infinitely worse by having to concentrate on the paperwork he'd asked her to do. It was the ultimate in boring.

"Sorry Staff ... nah, not really, just finding it a bit warm in 'ere and it's a bit 'ard to get me head round all this" Molly waved her hand in the direction of the pile of forms she was filling in, hoping she hadn't made too many mistakes, but without any real confidence. Her mind kept wandering.

"Right" He turned on his heel ready to leave and somehow she knew that he knew, there was something about the way he'd avoided meeting her eyes that was screaming at her.

"I'm sorry ... I know it's the wrong place 'n that, I know about not taking personal into ... but thought I'd tell you that you was right, I am gonna be moving out ... going back 'ome"

"Fine ... and you're right, this is definitely not the place to talk about it ... but ... I really can't see us going for a cosy little chat in the pub can you?"

"Nah ... best not"

"Can't pretend it's a surprise" He put his hand on the top of his head then ran it over his face and took a deep breath "What I said still stands though Molly, if you change your mind at any time ... well, you know where to find me" He looked at her without speaking for a couple of minutes as Molly struggled not to give into the hot tears that were prickling at the backs of her eyes, tears that were a mixture of being dog tired and sad for what might have been. She could see from the look on his face that no matter how much he tried to hide it, he was upset, and he'd been good to her when she'd needed someone so the thought of being responsible for hurting him was horrible, but whatever she did, someone was going to end up getting hurt. And she didn't love him, not like she loved Charles.

"Have you been to the Adjutant's office, have you sorted it out with them?" Molly shook her head, not trusting that there wouldn't be a little quiver in her voice "Well crack on then, go and see them now, no time like the present"

"Thanks Staff"

"Don't thank me, just ... make sure you put this lot away and ...let me know when you get back ... if there's time we'll ... sort the schedules for next week"

There was something about how rigid his back was as he walked away that told her he just wanted her out of his sight as she put the paperwork back in the cabinet and locked the door. Going to the office and telling them she was giving up living in barracks felt like she was taking a huge step, one that worried her because she wasn't totally convinced she was ready for it. Everything seemed to be rushing at the speed of knots, which made her want to yell "Just stop, slow down a bit will you, let me bloody think"

-OG-

"Have you got a minute Charlie? Sorry I meant Charles" She smiled in a self-deprecating way up at him "Sir"

He hadn't noticed her until she caught up with him and put her hand on his arm to get his attention. He'd been heading to where he'd told Molly he'd meet her and in his anxiety not to be late, he was stupidly far too early. Molly wouldn't actually be done for at least another forty minutes or so, probably more like an hour so it wasn't that he hadn't got time, the honest answer was that he really didn't have any inclination to stop and talk to anyone, especially not her.

"Okay" He made a show of looking at his watch "But you're going to have to make it quick"

"Thanks"

She lifted her eyebrows in a way that meant he wasn't sure whether she was genuinely thanking him or was being sarcastic at his lack of graciousness, which made him feel slightly ashamed of himself.

"What is it Lane? Come on, spit it out"

"It was Georgie before ... I just wanted to let you know that I've asked for a posting ... I want to get away from here ... so you won't be seeing me around much longer"

"Oh ...I see ... right ... I'm not sure why you're telling me ... but it's probably for the best ... making a fresh start somewhere else" Inside he was cheering but was aware of the need to be exceeding careful that his demeanour was non-committal. As far as he knew Georgie wasn't prone to making emotional outbursts in public, but nonetheless he was wary of the potential for this conversation to turn awkward. A scene between them was the last thing he needed.

"Best for who? Me?" She gave a short sarcastic laugh "I don't think so, we both know gossip follows you around in the army ... but I didn't think it mattered to you anymore ... so did you actually mean best for you ... and Molly?"

"Of course it matters ... and of course I meant best for you" He folded his arms across his chest and tucked his hands under his armpits in his best defensive move as he unconsciously straightened his back "I hope everything works out well for you"

"Like everything has for you?"

"I wouldn't say that exactly, things have a fair way to go before I can say it, but ... yes I suppose I'm getting there"

"With Molly?"

"Yup, with Molly"

He was suddenly inexplicably sorry for her, he didn't know what she'd been expecting from him but there was definitely a crestfallen expression on her face that he'd never seen before, so whatever she'd been looking for hadn't materialised. She'd always struck him as being someone who didn't wear her heart on her sleeve, with the exception of the day Elvis had been killed and that was different "I'm sorry, Georgie"

"Are you? What for .. are you sorry for us or that you blamed me for _us_ when it all went wrong?"

"I have never blamed you for any of it... not for one single minute, it was my fault ... but it's probably time that we put all that behind us ... I think you know that as well as I do" He put out a hand towards her shoulder and then changed his mind about touching her "I really do hope things work out well for you"

"You know, for a minute there you almost sounded as if you meant that, as if you cared"

"I don't know what it is you want me to say ... of course I meant it, I do care, but it was a mistake, we both made a mistake and we're paying for that now ... we both knew it at the time and that is something that hasn't changed" He rubbed the back of his neck "As I said, fresh start ..." Charles was at a loss to know what she wanted him to say, but Molly had hinted that she still harboured a desire for some type of relationship with him and the memory of those words was making him uncomfortable.

"Anyway, best of luck ..."

"And that's it, that's all you've got to say to me?"

"Indeed ... I'm not sure what else there is to say, I would say let us know when you find out where you're going and keep in touch ... let us know how you are, even ... but ..."

"But ..." She nodded her head to indicate the way he was unconsciously fiddling with his wedding ring "Molly wouldn't like it"

-OG-

 _ **A/N: Thank you to everyone who is still with us. It is your continuing support that has kept us going and we really do appreciate the way so many of you have taken the time to review and that those reviews have been so full of encouragement.**_

-OG-


	18. Chapter 18

_**Justice for Molly**_

 _ **Chapter 18 - You are the reason**_

"Hi ... you alright... is everything okay?"

Charles did his best to sound normal, not too wary or worried and failed miserably. He'd been trying to stay calm as he'd watched her walk towards him with a look on her face that spoke volumes about how she was feeling, there was doubt and insecurity written all over her until she caught sight of him and quickly masked her expression behind a vague smile which made his heart sink. He was afraid that somehow she knew he'd spent time talking to Lane and had added two and two and made a mountain out of it, not that there was anything wrong with him talking to her where anyone who cared to notice them would have a ringside seat, but he was worried that that wasn't how it would have looked to Molly, not with the bloody girl gazing up at him like that. And it was less than 24 hours since he'd promised he had nothing more to say to her, had been adamant that the relationship, if you could call it that, was well and truly in the past.

"Hi ... yeah I'm fine, why?" Molly shrugged "It was just routine shit, lots of paperwork, nothing worse"

She sounded puzzled although she knew that what she'd just said wasn't strictly true, but then she couldn't see how the fuck he could have known that her day had been a bit stressful, what with telling Matt about them and then going to sort the admin. But Charles just felt a flood of relief that for once it appeared Lady Luck had been on his side and Molly hadn't actually seen him with Lane.

"Lovely ... no reason, I was just a tad worried you might be having second thoughts about coming home, that's all"

"Nah ... why would I? I said didn't I?" Molly frowned "What made you think I'd change me mind?"

"Nothing .. nothing at all, come on, don't worry about it ... let's go and sort your stuff and then we can fuck off home" He smirked, the smile from the morning re-establishing itself on his face "I can cook some of the food I've bought"

"What we 'aving?"

"You'll have to wait and see won't you?"

"I see ... no chips then ... something healthy I'll bet, stir fry or something 'eated in the microwave ... yeah?"

"You know me too well"

Charles could hear Margot's voice in his head as clearly as if she was standing in front of him telling him again that he couldn't possibly be stupid enough to believe things were anything other than exceedingly fragile. And she hadn't been talking about food for supper. She hadn't said a single word as she'd listened to him happily recount the events of the previous evening, well the carefully selected highlights anyway, but had maintained her steady gimlet-like gaze on his face as he'd talked, waiting until he'd finally run out of words before she'd brought him sharply back down to earth. She'd rested her elbows on the desk and leaned towards him to repeat her stern warning of just how dangerous it would be for him to try and avoid things, and had insisted on reminding him that hiding emotional issues had played a massive part in the problems the first time round, a reminder he didn't feel he needed. She'd gone on to emphasise, as if she thought he needed to hear it, just how easily everything could get fucked up again, that he shouldn't be taking any risks with his paper thin recovery so that Charles had a strong feeling she didn't quite approve, not that she said anything, it was purely an impression. But it wasn't going to make the slightest difference, he couldn't be more convinced that this time she was way off the mark. She couldn't be more wrong.

Despite his relief that Molly hadn't actually seen him earlier, he knew Margot was right, it wasn't an actual reprieve. No matter how difficult and uncomfortable it was going to be and in spite of how much he dreaded seeing the look on her face when she found out, he had to tell her himself because there could be no more secrets.

Georgie had raised her eyebrows when he'd started checking his watch seeing what the time was and when he muttered under his breath about needing to get off, that he had stuff to take care of; he was actually slightly ashamed of how worried he was that someone would see them together. And just how easily that could be misconstrued so that his need to get away felt more and more imperative, and anyway he didn't seem to have anything left to say to her. But he wasn't exactly surprised that she took no notice of any reluctance on his part to stick around and chat, he'd always known that she focussed more on her own agenda than on any other considerations. It was definitely one of her less endearing traits.

"You know I really believed we were forever don't you? Oh no, not you and me" She gave a short harsh laugh at his involuntary sharp intake of breath and the horrified expression that had appeared fleetingly on his face before his customary mask re-appeared "Elvis and me ...I thought we were never going to end, well you do, don't you? Then after he let me down ... I never thought the pain could happen again, not in a million years, I know, I know it wasn't his fault but ... " She gulped "You remember Jamie? Poor Jamie ... he was always second best I suppose, but it really didn't seem to matter that I didn't love him the way I loved Elvis, I thought it was better that way ... easier anyway ... and I suppose I thought it was the same sort of thing with you and me ..." She gulped "But we were never meant to be together, were we?"

"Nope ... and I think we both knew that right from the very start, it was a mistake ... and I'm sorry"

Charles felt a momentary flash of sympathy for Jamie. He hadn't really known him apart from having a chat on a couple of occasions, but he'd seemed like a decent enough bloke, one that she had treated very unfairly.

"Thanks for that ..." Georgie pulled a face which underlined for him just how spectacularly tactless he'd been "I realised the other day that there is still a hole in my life, one that's Elvis shaped but that I don't talk about him anymore, you know, not to anyone, and that I haven't done for ages and I don't talk _to_ him anymore like I used to either, I used to chat to him all the time I was doing things like some mad woman"

"You're not mad"

"Tell that to my mum ... people are not interested anymore are they Charlie? All that grief and all those people saying they'd always be there and encouraging me to talk about him, to rely on them, and then .." She gave a graphic shrug as he wondered whether she was talking about him "I used to be able to hear him laugh when I looked at his photos and I could hear his voice when I was on my own, but all that ... all that's almost all gone now, I can't even remember the smell of his skin ... and no-one wants to listen anymore, do they? Everyone thinks it's time for me to shut the fuck up and move on" She shrugged as Charles shook his head slowly from side to side and looked at the floor "Even you ... but you know, it's hard to move on when you feel as if you've got nothing to move on to, when everything that matters to you is in the past"

"I know ... but no-one expects you to just forget all about him"

"Don't they? You seem to have managed it quite well"

"You know that's not true"

Charles really didn't want to talk to her anymore, and he didn't want to listen, and he especially didn't want to talk to her about Elvis. It had taken a great deal of time and a lot of soul searching on his part to be able to even think about him without being swamped with a tidal wave of guilt and regret, and it was touch and go even now. Anyway there was nothing he could say that would change anything or make her feel better. The one thing he was certain of was that he wasn't going to make any attempt to pick up the pieces again even though he could see she needed to talk to someone, he just knew that that someone wasn't him. Despite everything that had happened and the promises he'd made to Elvis, he wasn't a fucking counsellor and he didn't want to be and he didn't want to go back to having any sort of involvement with her. He wanted to be the person he'd been before any of it had happened. Against all the odds he'd been given another chance and he wasn't going to even think about doing anything to risk it going to shit.

-OG-

Molly bit her lip and smothered the urge to giggle as she looked at the chaos she'd created with the haphazard collection of kit bag and coats and carrier bags and a bunch of stuff on hangers that she'd hauled in from the car and then dumped in a heap on the floor at the bottom of the stairs. She actually wasn't sure what the fuck she had packed and what vital bits and pieces she'd left behind in the room that would no longer be hers by the weekend.

Her head had been all over the shop as she'd looked around at the space she'd called home for the past few months and then without a plan of where to start or what to take with her she'd just begun chucking random odd and sods into bags and then grabbing arms full of stuff still on their hangers. It had all been a very far cry from the neatly controlled way she'd been taught to pack by the army, but the whole time she was doing it she'd felt as if she was trying to wake up out of some dream world miles away. Somehow none of it felt real. She could see it was bothering him that she was behaving a bit weird, he had this frown on his face as he watched her flinging her stuff in bags, but she'd already told him she hadn't changed her mind and now couldn't think of anything else to say that would magically make it all feel right and stop him feeling hurt that she didn't look particularly pleased to see him. It was just that she couldn't seem to find the right sort of expression for her face. It was only when she'd made her way back to work and Matt had dismissed her, had told her she could go that things had suddenly started to feel real. Giving up her room had felt like she was signing away her independence all over again even if she knew that she could always change her mind if she had to, she could go back but if she had to admit she'd fucked it up again she would feel even more of an epic fail than she already did. It all felt a bit previous, as though everything was spinning out of her control and she was no longer the one doing the choosing and the one thing that all the shit of the last few months had showed her was that she didn't actually _need_ anyone else to run her life for her. She was better off doing it herself. But she also knew that keeping on saying 'what if' wasn't going to suddenly make everything perfect either, and anyway she didn't do perfect and that hadn't changed.

-OG-

"I saw Lane today"

He kept his back turned towards her as he stood on tiptoe and rummaged about at the back of one of taller cabinets trying to find some stir fry sauce he swore was hiding somewhere "Actually we had quite a long chat"

Molly had been chopping peppers and hadn't really been thinking about anything much at all except it all felt a bit odd and awkward and not the way she remembered it feeling when they used to get a meal ready together. She couldn't remember feeling like they were treading carefully around one another, except when it got really bad between them and she'd been trying desperately not to say the wrong thing. In the past he'd have been laughing and taking the piss at the way she caught her tongue between her teeth when she was concentrating on chopping things.

"Did you?"

He was apparently still concentrating on moving stuff around on the shelf as she stared at his back and a totally irrelevant thought popped in her head that they were going to have to re-organise the cupboards again or else she wasn't going to be able to reach anything.

"What about?"

The knife was still poised and even though her hackles had gone up at the mention of that name, she'd actually stopped chopping as Charles put the sachet of sauce triumphantly on the worktop and moved to put his hands on her shoulders to force her to look up at him. He had a sudden overwhelming need to look at her face and make sure she was okay as he told her about it.

"She wanted to tell me that she's leaving ... says she's asked to be posted, so she's off" He ran his hands up and down her arms "Can you put that knife down ... it's making me a tad nervous"

"What ... and this is since yesterday?" Molly took no notice of what he'd said about the knife which was still poised as she chewed her bottom lip and thought about what he'd just told her "Where's she going ... and what did you say?"

"I have no idea where she's going but yep, that's what she says ... actually I'm not sure she knows where she's going yet" He shrugged "I wished her luck, what else was there to say?"

"I dunno ... goodbye, good riddance, don't come back ... fuck off ... something like that ... you telling me you believed her? You thought she was telling the truth?"

"Indeed ... I mean, why wouldn't I? I can't see why she'd lie about it"

"Can't you?" Molly looked up and saw the concerned expression on his face as he thought about it "Fuck me, didn't know you could arrange things that quick ... well, unless she was just sayin' about it and has now gotta wait while they look and see where they can send her ... unless she's got a mate in high places ... I mean, a really good mate ... in a really high place ... a mate what can pull strings"

"Molly ... I'm sure she hasn't got any of those sort of friends"

Charles gave a short shout of laughter knowing exactly what she was insinuating, he was neither blind nor deaf to Georgie's reputation.

"What? ... Just sayin'"

What Molly really wanted to do was to interrogate him. She wanted to demand that he stood there and told her exactly what Lane had said to him, every word, and then exactly what he'd said back to her, word for word, but swallowed the urge with difficulty. He'd probably tell her to fuck off.

"And that was it, was it ... nothing else?"

"Yep ... pretty much it, she went on a bit about Elvis and how no-one cares anymore and how she's got no-one to talk to about him ... it was all pretty sad"

"Was she tryin' to say that was your fault, tryin' to make you feel bad?"

"I don't know, I don't think so ... well I didn't think so at the time ... why would she do that?"

"Dunno ... really can't imagine ... Charles?"

"Yep?"

"I'm glad you told me"

"No more secrets, remember?"

"Yeah ... I remember" She took a deep breath "I told Matt I was coming home"

"Poor Matt" Charles chewed at his bottom lip and then couldn't help putting his head back and looking up at the ceiling and smirking, then ran his hands up and down her arms "I'm sure he'll get over it"

"Oi" Molly shrugged, not wanting to talk about Matt, she still felt a bit shit about it "Don't be 'orrible"

"Sorry" Charles ran his a hand over the back of his neck knowing that he'd sounded ungracious and that whether he liked it or not Molly was fond of the Staff Sergeant "No more secrets ..."

"No more secrets ..."

"I was thinking today after Margot had finished pulverising me into bits, that maybe I should think about doing something else"

"Like what? What would you do?"

"I have no idea ... but it might be good for us to have a fresh start ... the same sort of thing that Lane was talking about, maybe I make her right that it would be the best thing"

"Don't ... not on my account ... don't leave the army for me, only if it's really, really what you want, the army is part of who you are..."

Molly didn't want to actually want to spell it out but she was desperate for him to understand without being told that she didn't want to hear that Lane was right. She didn't want to listen to him say anything else about her, that she wished he would just shut up mentioning her, that he would realise that she didn't like her and didn't trust her and never would. She understood his thing about no-one being all bad, she should, she'd heard it enough times, but as far as she was concerned Georgie Lane was the exception.

"I'm only going to stay in if I can come home to the girl I love every night"

"Deal ... now you'd better go 'n see if you can find her 'adn't you?"

"Very funny ... I don't need to look very far do I?"

He rested his forehead against hers as she willed the tears to go back behind her lashes and tightened her grasp on the hairs at the back of his neck.

-OG-

She couldn't have said who moved first, all she knew was that his lips were firm and dry and that his breath smelt of coffee and mints and all she could feel was the warmth of his hand as it cradled her face and knew that it felt _right,_ and that not even thoughts of _her_ could spoil it.

"You know, I can't help thinking I should have carried you over the threshold tonight"

"Why? You didn't before did you?"

"Nope, but I had an excuse then ... I was injured .. remember? And you wouldn't let me because I still had a limp and you were afraid I'd drop you"

"Oh yeah ... so, what's your excuse this time?"

"That's cruel"

Before she could react he reached down and swept her up in a fireman's lift and then took no notice of the way she was hammering her fists on his back and trying to kick him or the way she was yelling at him to stop and put her down before he dropped her. He ignored it all, just carried her out of the kitchen and out through the front door before he turned round and carried her back in and then let her slide down his front until her feet reached the floor.

"Prannet ..."

"Lovely ... now, I need you to stay over there and behave yourself while I concentrate on my cooking so you'll have to keep your hands off me I'm afraid ... and no, toast and marmite is not dinner, especially not two nights running"

"Never got any last night did I? Anyhow, wasn't gonna say that" She stuck her tongue out at him and then laughed, suddenly happy to be exactly where she was "I'm quite happy to let you cook me dinner ... I'll watch ... and supervise"

"Just remember cooks don't wash up afterwards" He grinned and then laughed aloud as he picked up the knife she'd abandoned and began to rapidly chop the vegetables.

"Stop showing off and be careful, mind your bloody fingers, I haven't got me med Bergen with me ... can't stick 'em back on if you cut 'em off ... 'n I can't do the washing up either" Molly giggled "Gotta put me stuff away before some fussy neat freak gets his knickers in a knot about me making a mess"

"I love your mess, I've really missed it ..."

"Liar.."

-OG-

 _If I could turn back the clock_

 _I'd make sure the light defeated the dark_

 _I'd spend every hour of every day_

 _keeping you safe_

He was singing along quietly as he cleared the dishes and Molly curled up on the sofa drinking wine in the low light of the table lamp. She was half watching him and half day-dreaming happily.

"Thank you, me dinner was lovely"

"What ... even the burnt bits?"

"Yeah ... especially the burnt bits" She giggled "Reminded me I was home"

"Here ... " He put a hand out to pull her to her feet.

"What you doing? ... Mind me wine"

"Come and dance with me"

"You're too bloody tall, you give me a crick in me neck" Molly put her glass down and slowly wound her arms up round his neck, then stood up on tiptoe "I need to find some shoes"

"No you don't ... alright, just stand here for a bit ..."

They slowly swayed in time with the music as he rested his chin on the top of her head and sang softly.

 _I'd climb every mountain_

 _And swim every ocean_

 _Just to be with you_

 _And fix what I've broken_

Charles hummed along for a few bars obviously unsure of the words before he began to sing again in a soft voice, his breath ruffling the top of her hair.

 _I need you to see_

 _That you are the reason ..._

He tightened his arms round her and hummed along as they carried on swaying in time to the music until the track finished, but even then neither of them made any attempt to move apart until Molly looked up and smiled at the way he was looking at her and at the expression she could see in his eyes.

"You promised me we'd 'ave an early night"

"Yup, so I did ... lovely ... can't think of anything I'd like more" He bent to kiss the tip of her nose and then rested his forehead against hers "I love you"

"Ditto"

-OG-

 _ **A/N: Sorry for the delay in updating, I have had the sort of lurgie that makes it impossible to think straight let alone see straight to type ... nearly at the end of this roller coaster ride now so hope that you've enjoyed this, the penultimate chapter. We really appreciate all the wonderful support we've had from all of you, the lovely reviews and comments that have meant so much to us, it certainly wouldn't have happened without them.**_


	19. Chapter 19

_**Justice for Molly**_

 _ **Chapter 19 – Can You Feel the Love Tonight**_

 _ **-OG-**_

"But why can't I? ... It's not fair"

"No Scamp, I've already told you ..."

"But Daddy ..."

"Nope ... no buts, you'll be at school for a start and you can't just not go to school because you want to do something else ..."

"Why not, Molly used to? ... you could tell them I'm sick"

"I could ... but I'm not going to ... and Molly never stayed away from school to go and meet Mickey Mouse ... I'm sorry Sam but there it is ... we'll sort something out for the holidays ... but not if you keep this up"

Sam was struggling to accept that his dad and Molly were planning on going without him when everyone knew that he had to go to Disneyland otherwise he was going to be the _only one_ in his entire class that hadn't been, or nearly, and he'd be left out. He'd been doing everything he could think of to try and get his mum to change her mind and take him but however much he'd badgered and pleaded and despite managing to squeeze out a few tears, Rebecca had been adamant. She'd said it didn't matter how much fuss he made, it was still too expensive and she still couldn't afford it and that he had to ask his father because he had more than enough money to waste on that sort of thing. But Sam hadn't and now his dad and Molly were going without him, which definitely wasn't fair and they weren't even going to Disneyland which in Sam's eyes was just unthinkable.

Molly couldn't help feeling torn between wanting to bring the smile back to his little face and being dismayed that it looked as if he was about to hijack something she'd been so looking forward to. She loved Sam to bits and knew what it felt like to feel let down by the adults around you and it wasn't so much that she didn't want to take him with them, although she didn't, not particularly, it was more that she'd never been to Paris. In fact she'd never been anywhere much except for Southend and Clacton and the various shit-holes that she'd been deployed with the army which obviously didn't count. She'd been to the house at Garda of course, but that had been their honeymoon and it had been well before everything had gone to shit so it was hard now to think back to it, and anyway they hadn't really done much of anything when they were there. Well, apart from stay in bed half the day and lie around in the sun for the rest, but they definitely hadn't done a lot of sightseeing or any of that stuff and she'd been looking forward to doing it in Paris. She'd spent a lot of lovely hours browsing all the sites until she decided she'd like to stay in Monmartre because it looked different, it looked old with cobbled streets and alleyways, and because she'd loved the look of it when she'd watched Maigret on the tele. Charles roared with laughter and said that was probably a film set so it was likely to be much more modern these days, or at least he hoped the plumbing was, but then agreed that the little hotel in Pigalle looked perfect, although she suspected that was because she wanted it so much. It had steep winding stairs up to attic bedrooms with sloping ceilings that he said probably meant he wouldn't be able to stand up straight, but it had shutters on the windows and little black iron balconies and big feather pillows on the beds and everything else that she wanted so they'd booked it even though the price made him gulp a bit.

Ever since they'd booked she'd spent her lunch breaks looking up lots of touristy stuff and had made lists of the things she wanted to see, but was now left trying not to mind that it was looking likely that the three of them were going to end up in some French TraveLodge at Disneyland instead.

"He can come if he wants ..." She gulped "I really don't mind"

"Well I do, I mind ... it's going to be you and me and no-one else ... we will take him, but not this time ... he'll just have to wait out and it doesn't matter how much fuss he makes ... "

"I know but ... "

"No buts ... we're going on our own, I want you all to myself"

He held her shoulders and shook her gently and tried to close his mind to his own feelings of guilt at disappointing Sam who was behaving as if the world would come to an end if he didn't get his own way and go with them.

"It's just going to be you and me ...okay? On our own"

"Okay"

"Lovely ..."

"I love it when you're being all bossy"

"Stop trying to change the subject and I'm not being bossy ..." He leaned forward and kissed her on the top of her head "I don't want to trail round Disney with Sammie and 3 million other kids and take it from me I _really_ don't want to kiss Mickey Mouse ... not when I can be sitting outside at a pavement cafe kissing my beautiful wife" He put a finger under her chin so that she couldn't avoid looking up at him "And I want to drink lots of wine ... and eat snails and frogs legs and maybe that cheese dad loves, the one that smells worse than an Afghan shitter" He put his head back and laughed at the expression on her face "Maybe not, but we must remember to bring some back with us for him"

"Only if you want your mum to slap you ... hard"

She was imagining the look on Meg's face if they gave Bill some of his beloved Espoises cheese. Molly wasn't sure that he actually liked as much as he adored winding Meg up by eating a plateful of the stuff that she said looked and tasted like phlegm and which made the whole house stink.

"Wonder if they're like whelks ... not the smelly cheese or the frogs legs, prannet" Molly giggled at the way his eyebrows shot up "The snails ... me dad always says getting a whelk out of its shell with a pin is like fishing for a bogey what's wearing a crash helmet"

"Lovely ... very appetising ... listen, we'll tell Sammie in the morning that we'll take him to bloody Disney another time, although the way he's pushing his luck at the moment, little bugger is not endearing himself to me ... and anyway this is not going to be a kid's kind of holiday"

"Sounds interesting ... sorry about telling him about me and bunking off school"

"Bloody think so, you know he thinks you can do no wrong ... and I didn't mean what you think, I meant walking miles and looking at famous paintings and going up the Eiffel Tower and drinking too much wine ... how come my wife has a one track mind?"

"Dunno what you mean ... and by the way, I'm not going up the Eiffel Tower, you can but I don't like heights"

"There are railings to stop you falling off ... or jumping off ... and you know exactly what I mean"

"Falling off? Are you bleeding nuts?" He could hear from her voice how appalled she was "That's just put the kibosh on any chance of you getting me to go up there"

"We'll see"

"Nah we won't"

-OG-

The last time they'd been away anywhere hadn't proved to be the best idea he'd ever come up with. The idea of celebrating their anniversary at the Bailbrook had filled Molly with all this sense of excited anticipation of what it was going to be like to be sitting at _their_ table again and having the same kind of conversation with their eyes that they'd had the first time they'd been there. But in reality it just hadn't been like that. They'd sat at the same table but the whole atmosphere of the place and all the things she'd been looking forward to just weren't the same as the way she remembered them, and the worst of it was that in her heart of hearts she'd been almost expecting something to go wrong. Or dreading something would happen to spoil it, everything still seemed so fragile that it felt a bit forced, almost as if they were trying too hard, it just felt plain wrong. Didn't stop her being bitterly disappointed of course, even if she didn't know exactly what was wrong, except that maybe the ghost of Georgie was still sitting there eating with them. When she'd asked him what he'd told Margot about them going away he hadn't tried to hide that she wasn't exactly optimistic about the chances of it being a raging success, and it was looking horribly like she might be right.

"You know I'm sorry Moll, don't you? I really wanted this to be special and it's not is it? I just don't know what else to say to you" He shook his head ruefully and didn't even try to pretend things were alright "I seem to be saying that a lot these days"

"It's not your fault"

Molly was suddenly worried that what he was actually saying was that they were a mistake, that she was back where she'd sworn blind she wouldn't go again. Back to being desperate to think of something to say that would put a smile on his face instead of the horribly familiar worried furrow on his forehead.

"Just stop worrying about it ... its okay ... maybe this might of been a bit soon ... do you wanna stay or shall we get off 'ome?" She was biting her lip as she looked at the worried expression on his face "If we go 'ome I'll let you wait on me hand and bloody foot all day tomorrow .. and I'll make it worth your while"

"Lovely, thank you" He gave a soft laugh and raised his eyebrows "That's a really lovely thought, but, we've booked this place so we might as well stay ... and sorry, I didn't mean that to sound the way it did ... I meant to say I'd like to stay here with you but only if you want to as well"

Both of them ended up getting more than slightly pissed. Charles was drinking what Molly called posh Brandy and the more he drank of it the more loose-limbed and relaxed he got, and the more he laughed the more she could see the Charles she'd fallen in love with and for the first time he seemed to stop worrying long enough for her to catch a glimpse of the person he used to be. She got increasingly flushed and giggly from sinking several pink cocktails that she'd chosen because of its pretty colour and because it was called Strawberry something or other but she'd actually got no clue what was in it except for strawberries of course. All she knew was it tasted lovely, all sweet and fruity and not like booze so that by the time she thought about asking what was in it had decided she no longer gave a shit. Her mind was a lovely fuzzy, happy blur as she stumbled to the lift and then leaned against him as they went up to their room.

"I've missed you"

Molly was very aware that his speech was just the tiniest bit slurred as he stared down at her with hooded eyes and that it was increasingly difficult to look away from him as the chemistry between them began to feel like a tangible thing.

"I missed you too"

The touch of his fingers as he slid his hand under her hair was burning on the bare skin of her neck and she couldn't have said which of them made the first move as his arms tightened round her and her lips met his. He pulled her harder and harder against him and the kisses got deeper and deeper, she didn't know or care how long they'd been kissing, all she knew was that she didn't want it to ever stop. It was only when he realised the lift had been stationary for some time and that they were in imminent danger of being whisked back down to the foyer that he grabbed her by the hand and pulled her to the privacy of their room.

But being back together didn't mean that everything was suddenly perfect. For Molly every day at work felt like a week, even though Matt hadn't once said or done anything she could have pointed at as evidence of something or other, it was just she couldn't help feeling awkward and uncomfortable being around him as much as she was. Knowing she'd hurt him made her feel incredibly guilty. It felt horribly like she'd led him on, albeit unwittingly, and it didn't help knowing Charles was longing to ask, but didn't. And even though things slowly improved over time, she knew in her heart that her and Matt were never going to get back what they'd had, and that made her sad.

The best was when the grapevine was full of rumours about Lane. It seemed she hadn't been lying through her teeth or trying to make Charles feel bad, she really had gone. Charles never mentioned hearing a thing, but again according to the rumour mill, Georgie had had a major and very public falling out with her boss and had stupidly told him a lot of home truth's which he hadn't really appreciated, so she'd been shunted off to regimental duties somewhere before her feet could touch the floor. No-one seemed to know quite where she'd gone exactly and it might not have been the way she'd told it to Charles, but Molly didn't give a shit, as long as she'd gone it was enough.

But there were still days when living back at home wasn't exactly perfect. Getting her own car had helped although they'd fallen out a bit about her getting a third hand sports car which was only a tiny bit rusty but which he told her was a rust bucket and was too low for him to get his legs in and anyway was way too expensive to insure. She'd accused him of trying to control everything and that she would save up and pay for her insurance herself, but in the end had compromised, a bit, and had got a slightly less sporty one that was still third hand but with a bit less rust. He still moaned that the rust was what was holding it together and that his knees were under his chin and that she scared the living shit out of him by driving too fast, kept calling her Lewis Hamilton, but Molly loved it. She loved the feeling of restored independence it gave her, and despite what he'd said he'd insured it for her.

In lots of ways their lives were just like when they were first together, they slept in the same bed every night and she forgot everything else when they were together in bed, holding each other all night and waking up to each other every morning. But they couldn't stay in bed all the time, and not everything was the same, there were still days when it was difficult, there were lots of no-go areas but at least his nightmares were practically a thing of the past so he was sleeping a lot better and wasn't as tired and edgy as he had been, although sometimes he'd be dead moody which just made her want to punch him. Margot was optimistic, said he was progressing really well, although she still kept warning him that he had a long way to go before he could consider himself even half-way cured. And although he still hated his job, said he'd never wanted to drive a desk, he seemed a bit less pissed off with it than he had been to start with. Molly was a bit worried it was because somewhere in the back of his head Margot telling him he was getting there had made him harbour dreams of getting back to the army life he'd had before PTSD had robbed him. She knew it was pretty unlikely given what she'd heard about Bangladesh, even without all the Georgie shit it wasn't good, but she decided not to say anything even if she wasn't sure how she'd cope if it ever did happen.

-OG-

"What do you want to eat"

"Dunno ... dunno what I'm looking at, do I? ... don't want to end up with something I'll hate"

"Would you like me to order for you?"

"Nah ... don't wanna end up with frog's legs either do I? Just tell me what that says ..." Molly pointed at the menu as Charles grinned happily.

"Frog's legs in garlic"

"It does not ... come on stop messing ... what does it really say?" Molly giggled "'ere, you don't know, do you? Thought you told me you spoke French"

"I do ... it's chicken ... it's some sort of chicken stew .. "

"Oh ... what's that one then?"

"Frogs legs" Charles stood up and leaned across the table to kiss her then smirked happily "There's chicken, there's some sort of fish or there's steak ... what do you want?"

"I'll have fish ... does it say it comes with chips ... sorry. French fries?"

"Nope"

By the time the food finally arrived they'd eaten a whole basket full of bread and had asked for more and had drunk most of the bottle of wine so that it probably wouldn't have mattered how good, or not, the food actually was. And like all the meals they'd had since they'd got there the vegetables and salads were served as a separate course, an idea Molly found hard to get her head around, she would have killed to have her chips with her fish.

"Is it okay?"

"Yeah ... fine ... well a few chips wouldn't hurt" She leaned across and stole a bit of the steak off his plate "And a bit of tomato sauce 'n all ... steak is nice innit?"

"Yep I thought so"

He hadn't managed to persuade her to open her eyes and look at the view when they'd gone up the Eiffel Tower, she'd been absolutely adamant but now they were wandering along in the safety of the footpath by the Seine she was a little bit sorry she'd refused point blank to do it, not even to please him. Walking by the river in the light of the street lamps with her arm round his waist and his slung loosely over her shoulders she was feeling stuffed full of bread and wine and something that was a bit like 'Death by Chocolate" only wasn't, it all felt exactly the way she'd pictured it when she'd been trying to imagine them in Paris. Charles had refused to get his own chocolate pudding, had said he didn't want any but had then kept dipping his spoon into hers so it was just like they were in some film with sub-titles.

"Are you glad we came?"

Molly had been looking up at his profile as they walked when he turned his head and looked down then smiled, suddenly happier than he could put into words.

"Yeah, course ..." She smiled the same sort of smile back at him "Charles? Can I ask you something?"

"Yup ... fire away"

"Why does Rebecca keep trying to get your mum and dad out the 'ouse? What's it gotta do with her ... and why does she keep on to Sam about being poor and asking you to pay for stuff? I thought she got most of everything, I mean you pay for the school and the mortgage and for Sammie and she got the 'ouse and the car 'n that and ... you know with Sam at school now she could get a job couldn't she? None of my business I know, but still .."

"Of course it's your business ... but best of luck telling her to get a job ..." He snorted a laugh down his nose "Yup, she got the house, but it wasn't the right house, not the one she wanted ... that's the one she keeps trying to get mum and dad to leave" He shook his head "But it doesn't matter how hard she tries, it's not going to happen"

"I don't get it, how come she thinks she should get their 'ouse?"

"Dad wanted to arrange something about inheritance taxes ... something legal ... it was a while back now, before I'd even met you ... but Rebecca got hold of the idea that the house was going to be in my name, so she thought she should get half in the divorce ... she wasn't best pleased when she found out how wrong she was, said she'd been misled"

"What made her think that ... I mean, did you tell her it was yours?"

"What? Did I lie to her? ... Nope ... but I think Elvis might have said something on those lines, he didn't like her so he wasn't above doing a bit of shit-stirring and winding her up and .. well, I should have told her but I didn't ... and she believed what she wanted to believe ... I didn't want it in my name .. being a target for the Taliban is a dangerous way to earn a living as we know only too well ... and it could have made things very complicated so it was a lot safer to put it in a trust for Sammie ... it's just that Rebecca was a tiny bit peeved when she found out ... she'd been banking on being a lot better off than she is ... you don't mind that much about the house do you?"

"What, that I'm not getting it? Yeah ... there was me thinking I was gonna end up living in a mansion ... bugger, thought it was too good to be true"

"Sorry ..."

"Nah, course I don't mind numptie, never fancied cleaning them stairs anyway and it's a bit on the big side for us innit? Does she know it sort of belongs to Sam?"

Molly stood up on tiptoes and kissed him in case he thought she was serious. She remembered now that Meg had already told her bits of it when she'd been letting off steam about Rebecca being a gold-digger.

"Well it's not that straightforward, he doesn't actually own it Moll, because if he did she'd be in there like a rat up a drainpipe, but he will ... or a share of it anyway when we have kids ... or I should say, if we have kids, otherwise he'll inherit the whole thing"

There was a sudden silence between them, it was a subject they hadn't even touched on since they got back together, let alone discussed. Molly's immediate reaction was that it was previous while there was still a tiny doubt in her head that she might risk ending up on her own as a single mum, which would be her worst nightmare. Too many of the girls she'd grown up with had made that a career choice.

"I've been thinking a lot about what you said that day about us having children together and getting a dog and how it had been part of the life you believed you'd have ... before I fucked it all up"

"Did I say that? Yeah, okay, s'pose I did, didn't I? But having babies ... I'm really dunno if I'm ready ... yet"

"Who said anything about having babies? ... actually I was thinking more about whether we should get a dog"

"Oh ..."

Molly looked up him with a sudden feeling of déjà vu. Even though she knew he was joking, or hoped he was, it was all horribly reminiscent of when he'd told her he wasn't sure he wanted to have a baby and that they should wait out till she was older.

"Hey don't look like that ... I'm sorry ... I didn't mean it, it was a stupid joke" He laughed as he stood still and leaned over to kiss her "I can't think of anything I'd love more than to have a baby with you, but I'm happy to wait till you're sure .. and whether we have babies or not, I know that more than anything I want to be with you for the rest of my life"

"Ditto"

-OG-

They'd closed the shutters so it was dark in the room when she woke and stretched, caught between the tangle of sheets and a naked Charles lying next to her, his long legs on top of the bedding. She carefully crawled out of bed trying her best not to disturb him and went and opened the shutters to let in the sunshine and the funny distinctive sound of the bread delivery van then turned and hopped back into bed next to him. It had been an amazing, unforgettable night and by rights she should be exhausted but wasn't, for the first time she hadn't had even the tiniest hint of a doubt that she'd made the right choice when she'd decided to come back to him.

"Morning ..." He opened one eye and smiled, a lazy grin on his face that still made her stomach flip over even after all this time. He put his arms above his head and made a small noise as he stretched like a contented cat in a patch of sunshine, a movement that drew attention to his body in a way that made her catch her lip in her teeth.

"Think we might 'ave overslept"

"Disgraceful" He reached out and pulled her on top of him and began kissing her slowly and thoroughly before he moved to kiss a trail down her neck.

"Nah ... stop it, we gotta get up, we're going shopping remember?" Despite her words she couldn't stop herself leaning back in to kiss him again.

"Why the fuck would we want to do that?" He moved his hands up and tangled them in her hair then pulled her head down to kiss her again.

"Thought that was what we said we was doing ... what do you wanna do then?"

"I want to move my hand down here like this and then ..."

"Charles, stop it, I didn't mean that ... I meant what do you want to do if we give shopping a miss ..."

"I told you, I want to move my hand down ..."

"We can't stop in bed all day ... I'm hungry and anyway I wanna make the most of it 'ere"

"So do I ... that's why I want to move my hand down ..." He broke off and laughed "I suppose if I have to .." He was still laughing as he rolled away and then pulled a face when he looked down at his groin "Seems a pity to waste that"

"You sound like you're trying to get me to change me mind ..."

"Is is working?"

"Nah ... 'n you wake up like that every morning ... so it's not a waste is it?"

"You're cruel... "

Charles swung his legs off the bed and reluctantly made his way towards the bathroom as Molly giggled and licked at lips that had suddenly gone a bit dry.

"Nice bum by the way .."

"Thank you"

He turned to look at her and smirked as he stood still and raised his eyebrows in a silent question.

"What ... WHAT?"

"You tell me"

"Just thinkin' ... maybe it is a bit of a waste ... I mean, we could always go shopping later on .."

His whole face lit up with the grin that she'd always loved as he turned and got back on the bed and immediately pulled her on top of him.

"Now, let me see, where were we?"

-OG-

 _ **A/N ... First of all Debbie and I would like to thank you for all your support and for the lovely reviews and comments you've made ... we really do appreciate it ... This is the final chapter of the story (and we mean it this time) so I will be returning to Roadside Rescue which got a little bit forgotten for a while, but which I always intended to go back and finish.**_


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